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AIBU?

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Original poster

I nearly killed myself today

476 replies

PepsiTwirl · 25/08/2014 23:48

Really sorry but put here for traffic.

I put it in mental health a couple of hours ago but noone responded.

I was going to kill myself , but just as I was about to take tablets, my partner walked in.

DP knows I'm having a hard time, but not this hard.

We spoke for abit, and cried together. DP now asleep and need to talk

(I added a symbol to a random thread to make sure name change had worked)

OP posts:
triplets · 26/08/2014 02:22

Pepsi keep talking to any one of us, please.........we all care very much about you. I am not a religious person but am going to sleep now and am going to say a prayer to keep you safe through the night. xxx

differentkindofpenguin · 26/08/2014 02:22

Hi there, I'm working tonight so talk to me if you can't sleep.

I went through the same as you a few years back, I know what you mean by that calm, clear feeling...

I came out of the other side, so will you.

There help, you're not alone. You are loved, wanted and needed. One day you will look back and be glad your partner interrupted you.

Samaritans is a good suggestion.

Also you won't get sectioned if you agree to treatment .

oldnewmummy · 26/08/2014 02:23

Your user name made me think of Pepsi and Shirley - were you a fan?

DD85 · 26/08/2014 02:23

I'd love to live near the sea, my grandfather had a boat when I was growing up. my favourite memory was waking up on and listening to the water lapping outside as other boats went past :)

Spartak · 26/08/2014 02:24

Doesn't it make you want to pee all the time Cautious? I thought I'd like to live by the sea but when I stayed with a friend that lived near the beach, all it did was over excite my dodgy bladder.

Hang in there Pepsi, a couple more hours and it will be a new sunrise x

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 02:24

No... partner had bought in Pepsi and twirls for me, so when I changed my username, it seemed like a good name

OP posts:
triplets · 26/08/2014 02:26

I live near the sea, its a 5 min walk from my house, and on a clear day I can see France..........I get woken up though at 6am by seagulls!

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 02:27

So partner just woke up, clearly had a panic where I was, come found me, asked if I was ok, and has now gone back to bed.

Didn't even say night. Never mind

OP posts:
CautiousVisitor · 26/08/2014 02:28

The sea is wonderful. Going and standing by it and watching it rush in and out is just so absorbing - it overwhelms and silences any other emotion, good or bad.

Spending even 5 minutes out of the house and being around natural things (the sea, or trees in a park) is another of my "small things" for coping at bad times.

oldnewmummy · 26/08/2014 02:28

I live near the sea. If I open the bathroom blinds I can see it, but then the neighbours can see me in the buff - not good!

Coughle · 26/08/2014 02:30

Please wake him up and ask him to keep vigil with you. He may be in denial about how serious things are.

oldnewmummy · 26/08/2014 02:30

He's probably not woken up properly, Pepsi.

You can keep talking to us - we've had our morning caffeine

CautiousVisitor · 26/08/2014 02:30

Oh Pepsi. That doesn't mean they don't care, believe me. Especially if your DP hadn't known how bad things were for you then finding out tonight would be a big shock that they may not have processed yet. I hope you can talk more with them in the morning but for now, there are people here rooting for you and supporting you.

crazyauntie · 26/08/2014 02:31

Please watch this video I'm new here so I don't know how to do links! Could read and run! Please stay strong! My favourite quotes are when it's raining look for rainbows and when's it's dark look for stars! And it maybe stormy now but it can't rain for ever! Please remember you are loved and are worth a lot more than you think! hugs

DD85 · 26/08/2014 02:31

Haha oldnewmummy! I'm terrible for forgetting blinds are open, I'm sure I've shocked my neighbours a few times! Hmm

Ludoole · 26/08/2014 02:32

I wish you had told dp how you were feeling.
If he panics when you arent in bed then that shows he cares.
Please wake him and talk to him...

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 02:32

I like to be by the sea

But I love London alot!

Looking out at the sea is relaxing, but I find the sea scary.
I nearly drowned once..Blush

OP posts:
crazyauntie · 26/08/2014 02:32

Meant couldn't not could!!! You can tell it's half 2 in the morning!

Spartak · 26/08/2014 02:32

Did you tell him that you weren't ok, and you need him? X

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 02:34

I said I was fineSad

OP posts:
CautiousVisitor · 26/08/2014 02:35

I'm not much of a city girl but I once just stopped and stared when crossing one of the bridges on the Thames as the sunset - the city quietening a bit but still bustling. It's amazing and arresting in its own way. :)

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 02:35

I made a promise earlier that I wouldn't do anything when he was out..

OP posts:
DD85 · 26/08/2014 02:36

Men don't understand "fine" :) please go speak to him Pepsi xx

CautiousVisitor · 26/08/2014 02:36

If you'd answered absolutely honestly, what would you have said to him?

oldnewmummy · 26/08/2014 02:36

I'm scared of drowning too. And sharks!

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