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Original poster

I nearly killed myself today

476 replies

PepsiTwirl · 25/08/2014 23:48

Really sorry but put here for traffic.

I put it in mental health a couple of hours ago but noone responded.

I was going to kill myself , but just as I was about to take tablets, my partner walked in.

DP knows I'm having a hard time, but not this hard.

We spoke for abit, and cried together. DP now asleep and need to talk

(I added a symbol to a random thread to make sure name change had worked)

OP posts:
judypoops · 26/08/2014 08:08

Hi Pepsi, you were my first thought too this morning, I hope you are ok and managed to get some sleep. Please, please go to the doctor this morning and if you show them this thread that means that you don't have to talk. They will be able to help you, I know you can't see it now but you will feel better and get through this. You are needed, and loved.

MyPrettyToes · 26/08/2014 08:18

Pepsi & DB85 I hope you both slept well. Just writing to say I have been thinking about you both.

triplets · 26/08/2014 08:44

Pepsi I am going out now, will be back at mid-day, so praying you will have posted. xxxxx

Septbaby · 26/08/2014 08:46

Morning pepsi you were in my thoughts all night and first thing, really hope you're able to post today, the daylight can ease so many pains darling xxx

CautiousVisitor · 26/08/2014 08:53

Just checking in, Pepsi. Hope you're doing ok today. I know you can keep going.

oldnewmummy · 26/08/2014 09:37

Morning Pepsi. Another one posting to let you know we're thinking of you.

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 09:50

I'm still here.

Thank you everyone for your support during the night. You kept we from doing something

OP posts:
oldnewmummy · 26/08/2014 09:53

So glad to hear that Pepsi. Are you able to go to the Doctor today?

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 09:58

I know it's silly, but I don't want to go.

I'm scared, so not going to go

OP posts:
oldnewmummy · 26/08/2014 10:06

Are you able to work out what you're scared of?

LEMmingaround · 26/08/2014 10:19

Pepsi. Don't be scared. You've got through the scary bit. You also posted here for help.

I was in a very similar situation.

I went to my gp. This is what happened.

No hands in the air panic. No sectioning. No hospital.

A prescription for medication. ( that took me a while to collect as i was nervous). A referral to mental health clinic for assessment interview. At interview asked if i felt safe and what strategy i had to keep safe. I was put on waiting list for counselling and given a number to call if i felt scared or suicidal. She called me every few days at first.

Got a bit worse when i started the meds (this can happen) so was given some short term additional meds to help. When it settled i stopped taking them. Still on ads now and doing ok. Importantly -still here.

No one was told. Only my dp who came to the appointment with me at my request.

Do yourself a favour and see your doctor. I know its scary but you wont be carted off to a psych ward. Equally you wont be given a magic wand but youll be able to access support.

Dontgotosleep · 26/08/2014 10:21

Hi pepsi. Thought I'd drop in and see how you were doing and let you know I'm thinking of you.

valrhona · 26/08/2014 11:10

Hi Pepsi

Just wanted to say good morning, and I hope you got some sleep. You've had loads of great advice from people who know what they're talking about.

Just wanted to say there are loads of us here, loads, all wishing you well and we will stay next you as you come through this. Better days are on the way.

CautiousVisitor · 26/08/2014 11:13

Hello Pepsi. Welcome back to the thread!

Is your DP gone out to work now? When will he be back? Can you ask him to go to the doctors with you / help you sort out an appointment?

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 11:18

Yep gone to work, has to go, no choice really

He'll be back about 6 today!

Iv cleaned the house.
Got to find something to do now

OP posts:
CautiousVisitor · 26/08/2014 11:34

Are you feeling a little better today than you did last night? Did you get a chance to talk more with your DP?

Are there any coffee shops nearby? Do you think you might be up to going out and having a cup of something warming? It might be good for you to get out of the house and be around other people.

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 11:46

I am feeling abit better, thank you
(Thanks to people on here)

OP posts:
icanmakeyouicecream · 26/08/2014 11:52

I am thinking of you x

Coughle · 26/08/2014 12:11

Thinking of you Pepsi! WELL DONE for making it through that dark difficult night. Do you know our serotonin levels drop during the night? No wonder things always seem a million times more desperate.

Could you bring yourself to make an appointment with your gp? You can tell yourself you're not going to go... Plan to cancel it... Then if you change your mind and decide to go, you've got the appointment there....

Likewise you could call and hang up immediately... Do that as many times as you need to...

You feel scared because you've never reached out for help in this kind of way, it's scary.... But you can be scared and still do something.

Flowers
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 26/08/2014 12:29

Understand you feel scared but please don't be trapped by fear, maybe talk over with DP when he's home about accompanying you to see your doctor this week?

Coumarin · 26/08/2014 12:42

Thought of you as soon as I woke up today.

Impressed at your house cleaning, I need some motivation to get on with mine today.

Why don't you go out for a walk? Can just be half an hour or pick a landmark of some kind like a post box for example and walk to it. Getting outside will be a big help.

DD85 · 26/08/2014 13:26

Just wanted to send hugs. Thanks

anonacfr · 26/08/2014 13:44

So glad to hear from you today!

chubbyhez · 26/08/2014 13:48

Hi Pepsi how are you feeling today? Do you know sometimes just saying things out loud make them seem less scary? Well done for reaching out last night.

triplets · 26/08/2014 15:07

Oh Pepsi I have been beside myself as I couldnt get Mumsnet to connect, dont know why. I cannot tell you how happy I am to see your posts and how very proud I am of you , you have shown extraordinary courage, you may not think so but you have. God I am so relieved.................. you know what your next step should be, but I know and understand how hard it is to take that next step................you will I am sure in your own time, no pressure. Thank you for coming back to us xx