To hope that I can ask about FF without being shot down in flames?

[Darksideofthemoon88]

I'm interested in WHY people choose to FF if not for medical reasons (ie they can't because of medication they have to take, or because their baby was very premature and is unable to suckle) - I've seen a lot of threads where people assert that FF was best for them/their family/their baby or that they chose to FF without trying BF, and I'm curious as to why. Genuinely curious I'm not interested in fighting with anyone about what's best or right; I'd just like to read about why people FF because I honestly don't know. In the interests of full disclosure though (I know how MNs feel about this! ), I am a breastfeeding mother.

This is an interesting article about a 2012 study, one of the largest studies to date on breastfeeding that compared outcomes for breastfed versus formula fed siblings. Long term benefits for breastfed children? Absolutely no difference they found. The benefits seem to be limited to short-term (the first year of the baby's life).

commonhealth.wbur.org/2014/02/sibling-study-finds-no-long-term-breastfeeding-benefits-for-kids

Darkside - I am intrigued by your suggestion of nipple shields as I think they might have helped me, but seemed to be frowned on by various professionals. Though I didn't seem to have any milk anyway, so maybe a red herring.

One thing that BF/FF discussions could do with less of IMO, is the head-tilt "oh you needed more support". I was pretty ill after having my DD and actually giving up FF was a great decision. More "BF support" would have been more pressure. Supporting women who have decided to stop BF is important and the HCP who saw me were great for this. Supporting shouldn't be about taking a side, it really does need to be impartial. Too many "supporters" have a real agenda.

Yes I tried a nipple sheild. I had premmie babies I can assure you the first one's latch was rubbish. He just couldn't be bothered at all possibly becasue there was nothing there and he was having to work too hard. Whenever he did he fell asleep immediately, this again could have been down to him being early (or so I'm told.)

Oh and I don't care even if you are accusing I know EXACTLY what happened with the feeding of my children and I really refuse to feel guilty. I felt guilty enough that year after the first to last a lifetime - no more of that here.

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and plan to try and bf but am taking some of those ready made bottles just in case.

On the nct breastfeeding session the expert was terrible. She used a whole load of emotive language instead of stating facts, kept saying 'research tells us' but not being able to say what specific research and did the usual 'all women produce enough milk', 'with support all women should bf' etc.

My aim is to feed the baby as best I can, however that is and to bloody try and not feed guilty about it!

DD was tongue-tied and after breastfeeding her for six weeks I had to give up. She was on me hourly, wouldn't put on any weight and we were both fretful and exhausted. DP felt helpless and the stress did nothing for our relationship. The HV made me cry when I gave up, telling me I was failing her. I've never trusted HV's fully since.

DS, born two years later, was breastfed for a few days but he couldn't get the hang of it and I had a two-year old to deal with as well. FF was the best decision in both cases. It saved all our sanity.

BF my first daughter for 6 weeks until I got mastitis.
My second daughter couldn't latch on,so I expressed & bottle fed it to her for 2 weeks then went on to FF.
,she was much later on diagnosed with a rare firm of CP (Worster Drought Syndrome) which explained why she couldn't manage to BF

Because my milk never came in for any of my 3. I never even engorged. So it was FF or nothing.

I tried to BF dd whilst I was in hospital, one particular time I was trying - unsuccessfully and a HCA working on the ward came up to me and without saying a word, out her hand into my nipple and started to squeeze it. I have never, ever been in so much pain. Childbirth was literally nothing in comparison, I started to cry & she walked off!

That put me off, but I quite simply didn't really want too. I wanted to give it a go for the 'experience' so to speak but I felt it was easier to FF as I had a lot going on after DD was born,

What I really don't understand, except that it's harder to measure the effect, is why mixed feeding isn't more supported. My dh felt very cut out because dc1 wouldn't take a bottle (we probably left it too late to push the issue due to concern about bf). Exclusively bf was tiring for me, and meant I was stuck with all the sleep deprivation and no respite from sore boobs etc. I feel as though the bf or ff debate let's so many people down whereas mixed feeding in reality can give the best of both. I'm dubious about the downsides of ff especially anything including counties where access to clean water etc skews results.

I BFed (well, I still am the second) because I can't be trusted to keep a clean mug in the house, let alone sterilise bottles, but I totally understand why people would FF. Surely it doesn't need much imagination?

If I FF, DP, or GP or anyone could give me a break and feed him, (perhaps as a result I'd get even more of a break because he wouldn't associate only me with food/comfort), babysitting would similarly be a walk in the park and not require me to hitch up like a cow to a milking machine (not that I ever managed to produce that way). No anxiety about feeding out and about, or how much they're eating, possibly an easier path onto solids, no pain/discomfort etc.

I bf for twelve weeks, which was eleven weeks too long. Knocked me ill, and I mean ill. Developed Graves disease and almost died from the resulting surgery. Lack of sleep causes massive damage to cortisol and opens the door to many illnesses. FF from twelve weeks on but it was too late, the damage to my health, and therefor my baby's life, was done.

I EBF my 5m/o DS and can totally understand why FF is a preferred method for some women.

If I ever have another baby, although I won't use formula, I will definitely express and start introducing bottles from an early age.

I love BF but the level to which I'm tied to DS is a struggle at times.

raisedby strangers

Don't judge stressed, tired, emotional new mums on that.... judge them for this instead! springs to mind

I'm curious about that too, Gen. I'm given the impression broadly it's at best a real struggle, and yet having spoken to a couple of friends who used a combination method they both found it to be straightforward and hugely beneficial.

For me, for various reasons, a combination of breast and bottle (be that formula or expressed) would be an ideal solution, but I don't expect any support in achieving this to be forthcoming.

If only it were true,strangers on tap to raise my kids.no more panic at inservice days
No more huge nursery fees.id simply find one of these strangers to raise the weans
Where can i enlist a stranger to raise my weans?i'll google raisedbystrangers.com

I tried nipple shields, they didn't work. I have one severely inverted nipple and one completely flat. My first baby nearly made the bottle up himself after a few days struggle to latch onto flat skin.
This was in the early 80's and I was made to feel like a second rate mother by other mums and health professionals. Apparently inverted nipples don't prevent breast feeding. All of my children are healthy and I agree with deadcerts post.
The more confident mature me would ignore anyone's comments about my choice of feeding for my babies, likewise I make sure I don't pass any judgement or comment on the methods my grandchildren are fed by.

Moomin - I thought that was an odd thing to say. I don't know anyone whose child is being raised by strangers. My DD attends nursery for a fair bit. Of the week. We know the staff and I don't think any of them would claim to be raising DD. Though I consider DD to be a collaborative effort with nursery and our wider family.

Right
I ff
Kids in nursery ft from 6month
In Own nursery from birth
Now where can i get a stranger to raise em?

I started reading this thread, enjoyed reading, but in the back off my mind thought "God, I hope Minifingers doesn't appear, I can't be arsed reading that shite.

But obviously the klaxon went off and in she came, trying to make everyone feel shit. So I'm not reading anymore.

On the nct breastfeeding session the expert was terrible. She used a whole load of emotive language instead of stating facts, kept saying 'research tells us' but not being able to say what specific research and did the usual 'all women produce enough milk', 'with support all women should bf' etc.

Nct people coming out with all that irritates me no end. I know that it isn't the case. It doesn't help people to lie about it.

I've just had my invoice for DD's nursery, £851 for September. I wonder if I could find a stranger to mind her for cheaper?

The stranger wouldn't just mind your wean , they'd raise her. How great us that