To hope that I can ask about FF without being shot down in flames?

[Darksideofthemoon88]

I'm interested in WHY people choose to FF if not for medical reasons (ie they can't because of medication they have to take, or because their baby was very premature and is unable to suckle) - I've seen a lot of threads where people assert that FF was best for them/their family/their baby or that they chose to FF without trying BF, and I'm curious as to why. Genuinely curious I'm not interested in fighting with anyone about what's best or right; I'd just like to read about why people FF because I honestly don't know. In the interests of full disclosure though (I know how MNs feel about this! ), I am a breastfeeding mother.

Mini I must say the longer you post, the more unpleasant you come across.

So it hasn't been possible for the OP to ask about why some women choose to FF from birth, and the thread has become a bun fight. I'm not surprised but it would be good if we could discuss it without the mud slinging.

There are lots of questions I would like to discuss about this topic but I wouldn't dare ask them for fear of being ripped to shreds.

It seems not Culture but ask away. You never know.

Nope, LittleBear, not brave enough!

I'm reading this thread like

I can't believe how puffed up and self-important people can be.

Perhaps what has happened here is that some posters get a very different response from people IRL when they start preaching, the fact that the women on this thread are not falling over themselves to agree with or congratulate has bruised some egos.

I certainly pity any woman IRL who is on the receiving end of any of the condescending lectures that I have read here. They probably just end up agreeing to get people to shut up.

Tbh. I don't blame you

I'm happy to answer anything if you want to throw questions at me, culture. :) I answered the OP candidly, feeling no shame, no regret and no less of a mother for choosing to FF from birth. Now I've had a rant at the one poster who's been telling FFs what we think and how we feel and getting up my nose from the start I'll go back to my default setting (treat the other person as reasonable until their behaviour proves them otherwise).

Thanks ithought

I feel very fortunate that mentally im very strong. I know what I chose was what was best and nothing and no one could have changed my mind. I cannot even bring myself to care how others choose to feed their babies. Because I cannot look at a loved, cherished, baby in a parents arms and think there's anything remotely resembling a failure in his/her life if they are whipping out a bottle.

This thread is almost full Culture, you could maybe start a new one and ask for it to be specifically about FFing.

Just don't post it in AIBU.

"I certainly pity any woman IRL who is on the receiving end of any of the condescending lectures that I have read here."

This is a debate board on an internet site.

Therefore people engage in discourse in a different way than they would with friends/strangers in real life.

You know - like they'll talk about shitting on their skirt, their dodgy pelvic floor and how much they dislike their MIL.

In real life people tend to say what they think someone wants to hear.

This board frees you from that much to some people's disgust .

It's not a place for people with delicate sensibilities.

Maybe what you're getting at is that you're insinuating people who express strongly pro-breastfeeding sentiments are the sort of bad folks who'll corner a sobbing new mother with bleeding nipples and a baby who can't breastfeed, and lecture her in a corridor about how she MUST breastfeed and how formula is EVIL, flapping PROPAGANDA in her face and sneering at her child.

Take 80 women

They all start breast feeding

79 go back on the sauce five days after birth but 50 express in plenty of time so as not to get the baby pissed.

12 go to summer weddings where children are not allowed and go 'Fuck it' and leave the baby with grandma and a bottle of expressed milk.

Two of the grandmas look at the expressed milk and go 'Fuck that for a game of soldiers, where's the proper stuff?' and pour it down the sink. They ring Grandad to get his arse to the nearest chemist for some formula before the kids get back.

Four of the women who refused to go to the summer wedding because, as Attachment Parents, they are not permitted by their cult leader, Tarquil, to put the baby down until it is eight, sue Kellymom for making them gain fifty stone between them.

Finally, out of 80 women who originally started off breast feeding, there is one lone figure, still wapping her bristols out feverishly nine months later in Costa Coffee, desperately hoping for a row with a couple of owd codgers who haven't seen a tit since 1947 and didn't go through two World Wars so to stare at leaking pendulous udders over their scones and tea.

Pistol [ grin]

pistolwhipped

The thing is though mini is that new mums will gravitate towards parenting forums if they are looking for advice or support when it comes to feeding. I think when it comes to something as personal and emotional as breastfeeding/ff people should bear in mind that sometimes people are feeling sensitive and therefore post sensitively in their replies. Otherwise it is the online equivalent of exactly what you said.

No, what I'm getting at is that people who express strongly pro-breastfeeding sentiments when no one asked their opinion are best avoided by any mother.

Costa has always been friendly in terms of bf I have found

Mind you I once breastfed on a Ryan Air flight and squirted the poor man next to me with a good blast of milk

I bf till 10 months. I don't think I had pendulous udders.

I also topped up with formula as and when it suited and it was a god send. For me and DS.

Although obviously I only used the formula because Aptamil sent me a cute little polar bear, I have an IQ of 54 and I don't really care much for DS.

Thank you Pistol, thank you so much my dear. I've just spent the last three minutes choking on a tomato due to eating while reading and laughing like a moose at your feeding stats!

"I cannot even bring myself to care how others choose to feed their babies. Because I cannot look at a loved, cherished, baby in a parents arms and think there's anything remotely resembling a failure in his/her life if they are whipping out a bottle."

But that's because you think it really makes no difference to a baby how it's fed, and therefore it's not worth thinking about.

You are entitled to that opinion.

But others are entitled to think, and to express the view, that breastfeeding matters to babies.

Shall we agree to differ?

where has anyone described breastfeeding as pointless? That would be a similar statement to 'feeding dc roast chicken and veg is pointless'.

tiktok you aren't understanding the can't tell at 5 point. What people are saying is the effects are surprisingly small. Yes bfing is better for baby when all goes well, I agree that's what the research and common sense days. People have said this repeatedly throughout the thread.

Why oh why oh why can't this all just be kept in proportion?

I think rather than another thread about this tired old battle, we need one questioning just why we are so desperate to be better parents than someone else, and why particular aspects of parenting are the targets for that. Why isn't there this kind of debate over wooden toys vs. brightly coloured Lamaze soft toys vs. rubber twatting giraffes that go missing when you need them most ? Or whether you dress your baby in sweatshop best or only organic clothes made of wool, knitted by Patagonian free-range alpacas?

Who's doing the best for their baby there?

Mini, how you feed your child doesn't matter at all to me.

I also checked with DS and he couldn't give a flying fuck either.

at Pistol. Just spat my tea out..... PMSL!

where has anyone said it makes no difference? If you are so confident it makes a difference why are you needing to defend yourself like this?

Maybe what you're getting at is that you're insinuating people who express strongly pro-breastfeeding sentiments are the sort of bad folks who'll corner a sobbing new mother with bleeding nipples and a baby who can't breastfeed, and lecture her in a corridor about how she MUST breastfeed and how formula is EVIL, flapping PROPAGANDA in her face and sneering at her child.

OMG, where you looking in a mirror when you wrote this Mini??