To hope that I can ask about FF without being shot down in flames?

[Darksideofthemoon88]

I'm interested in WHY people choose to FF if not for medical reasons (ie they can't because of medication they have to take, or because their baby was very premature and is unable to suckle) - I've seen a lot of threads where people assert that FF was best for them/their family/their baby or that they chose to FF without trying BF, and I'm curious as to why. Genuinely curious I'm not interested in fighting with anyone about what's best or right; I'd just like to read about why people FF because I honestly don't know. In the interests of full disclosure though (I know how MNs feel about this! ), I am a breastfeeding mother.

Do FF babies not cluster feed then?! This is a revelation...do they take a full bottle then stop for a few hours? (Pg with DC2 and intending to bf again here...til I heard this!)

funchum all 3 of mine took a bottle every 3-4 hours

Obviously not a full one!

Some do and some don't, just like some BF babies cluster feed and some don't.

I'm still breast feeding at six months, and it gets pretty boring pretty quickly spending six hours a day with your baps out (thank fuck for MN). It's also bloody annoying being the only one who can do it. I can quite see why people don't breast feed for ever.

Well, tiggy - I guess the OP is asking about the 19% who didn't start off breast feeding, not those who did then stopped.

I am not one of the ones who only FF, I started off BFing both DC, the woman I know who didn't BF at all seemed to be of the view it was somehow 'odd' to Breastfeed or just didn't like the idea of it, seeing breasts in a purely sexual way. I live in an area where most woman do at least start breastfeeding, so it's normal to see, whereas if you live in an area where most have stopped in the first few weeks or not at all, it's unlikely that you will have seen breastfeeding as a normal way to feed babies.

Funchum, no they don't cluster feed in the same way because cluster feeding is primarily about establishing supply in breastfeeding. The more they suck the more milk you produce. With ff they don't need to cluster feed - they have as much milk as they want and then if they want to continue to suck you can offer a dummy. (Obviously you'd offer another feed if they seem genuinely hungry - you still feed on demand of course) one of the main reasons I love ff. I absolutely hated cluster feeding with dd. I had a traumatic birth and then felt absolutely glued to the sofa for days and no rest whatsoever and it helped to tip me into pnd.

Have you had enough reasons now OP?

To those of you asking why I want to know: just because I'm interested. I'm not forcing you tell me - please feel free not to (though perhaps people who are openly judgemental about those who FF might not be if they knew some of the reasons behind it? Just speculating, but I think it's never a bad thing to be educated about things you haven't personally experienced; I'm the first of my friends to have a baby, and my baby is the first in the family for 14 years, so I don't know any awful lot about other people's choices!).

Somebody asked why other people's choices matter to me. Well, they do and they don't. They don't affect me - obviously. But I am interested - same as I might be interested in what sport/s you enjoy and why, or which car you drive, or what job you do. It's just a question, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, nor am I about to pass comment/judgement on anything you say because that's not the spirit of the thread as I intended it.

Why is this getting your back up so much, Worra? There are probably as many reasons for FF as there are women who do it. I'm interested in hearing them. I'm sorry if that offends you, but as far as I'm aware, I haven't said anything judgemental or offensive, promoted BF, or done anything else upsetting. I've only asked, and I'm grateful to those who've answered because I now know more than I did before

Because i wanted to.

Because DH wanted to be able to feed his children through and as yet is unable to lactate

Because i wanted to.

If I ever have another I think I will probably FF from birth, purely so I can hand off to DH whenever I want and because it is tying to BF at times. I don't know if it's down to BFing or down to his personality but DS2 has gotten separation anxiety way earlier and way worse than my other two ever did (even DD, who was a velcro baby). Every shower I have had this week has been to the soundtrack of a wailing baby even though DH has hold of him. And planning a night out is like planning a bank job, not to mention the fact that he now won't take a bottle so I can go out but I must be back within three to four hours.

Huh? Have you confused me with someone else OP?

Nothing I've written on this thread would suggest my back is up or I'm offended?

I personally don't care how people choose to feed their babies - I breastfed and it was bloody hard and I don't know if I could put myself through it if I had a second - think formula feeding would have saved my sanity for the first few months. A bit like you guybrushthreapwood. I was in a cafe yesterday though where the owner was talking about his 7 week old's reflux issues and said that in the olden days when you fed them yourself, you wouldn't have had these issues and it was down to the formula milk he thought. I was amazed that he didn't even consider breastfeeding to be an option these days - that it was totally outdated. I wondered if his partner thought that too.

I find the detail interesting.
If the question is "why did you want to ff?" Then "because i wanted to" doesn't actually answer it. Of course ppl might not want to share, but it is interesting to hear about some of the thinking and feelings behind that.
So things like finding bf too tiring, socially restrictive, wanting dp to feed the baby, distaste at the idea of bf, worrying about baby getting enough milk, wanting to drink/ go out are all things i have heard ppl say about their reasons for ff. i would guess there are many more too.

I tried it with DD, but it didn't work, I think due to a car crash style birth and she shredded my nipples in the process of trying. We're now having another and will be going straight for formula because:

Failing to BF is really stressful, as recent research showed, PND is highest in the "tried to BF but it didn't work out" group.

FF suited us and DD. It certainly didn't impede our bonding with her, though for the short time that we tried FF, I dreaded her waking up as I knew how painful trying to BF would be - that did impede bonding.

DD thrived on formula, she is healthy, tall, lean, bright, eats well (for a 3 year old). Individual differences really do mask any benefits from formula.

I don't think much of the research into the benefits of BF. In a country with adequate sanitation and following the guidelines for making up formula, I think the differences are vanishingly small. I have a scientific background including spending a lot of time at university critiquing research, so I am confident that I understand what I have read.

I've had advice from HCP including a pediatrician who basically said if it doesn't work, don't bother stressing it, just switch to formula.

I also think that we get hung up on BF in a way that we don't about other parenting decisions. It is actually just one of many things that might matter. I know people who did BF, but have some other parenting behaviours that I wouldn't ever emulate.

However, if anyone in RL asks why we are FF our baby, I will just say that we are trying to level the playing field for other babies .

Worra: You asked if I'd had enough reasons. It sounded a bit sarky and vaguely accusatory, though I apologise if I've 'heard' that wrong.

DS was very big

I was worried he wasn't getting enough milk from me so we combination fed him.

I continued bf till he was about 10 months old but we used formula too.

It was great. I was content he was getting plenty of milk, it took a load of pressure off, DH could do night feeds and give me a break.

Worked really, really well for us.

I used the Aptamil ready made carton things and they were hugely convenient too.

Because I had severe PND and PTSD from birth trauma.

Oh. And a big reason was I was back at work when he was 5 weeks old.

I still expressed for him (expressing in a little cupboard at work is one my most unhappy memories of that time) but I didn't produce huge amounts of work so using Formula as well worked well for us.

I tried and DD just didnt take to it, so FF, shes a very healthy 7 year old and it never hurt the bond between us.

You should give it a try Darkside.

You might end up loving it too and finding it works for you.

Sorry if it came across as sarky OP

At that point, the thread had been going for half an hour and you hadn't replied. So I wondered if you'd heard enough reasons.

Amanda those are all reasons yes, but 'because I wanted to' is also a reason.

Some people will have reasons beyond that but some won't.

It's just a choice between two ways of feeding a baby. Some want to do it one way and some want to do it another.