To hope that I can ask about FF without being shot down in flames?

[Darksideofthemoon88]

I'm interested in WHY people choose to FF if not for medical reasons (ie they can't because of medication they have to take, or because their baby was very premature and is unable to suckle) - I've seen a lot of threads where people assert that FF was best for them/their family/their baby or that they chose to FF without trying BF, and I'm curious as to why. Genuinely curious I'm not interested in fighting with anyone about what's best or right; I'd just like to read about why people FF because I honestly don't know. In the interests of full disclosure though (I know how MNs feel about this! ), I am a breastfeeding mother.

Btw, I'm pleased to see how many dull shits there are on this thread

And I mean that most sincerely...

I was just thinking about this I BF all four of my children, my reasons were that human milk was always going to be better for babies than processed cows milk.

But here's the thing my youngest is now 4 1/2 and breast feeding is a distant memory, I couldn't tell who at his nursery was breast/bottle fed, he's now a little monkey who would live on chips/bananas and sweets if I allowed him too. I suspect when they are 10 or 16 or beyond no one will know or care how they were fed.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that BF/FFing is such a little part of their overall childhood it's really not worth getting het up about.

As long as women are fully informed and given the right support it should be their choice how they feed their babies.

Aww thats nice worra I think
I was speaking to a new mum recently and she did bf for a few weeks and she switched, she said I just felt like a cow feeding machine he was just on all the time and realised I couldn't remember the last time I washed my hair that I decided to switch to formula. She is happier her baby is more settled and her hair looked shiny

That's good to hear Mrsjayy - that she made the right choice for her and her child.

That's what it's all about choice

Quite why anyone would want to make a mother feel guilty for choosing one or the other, is beyond me.

Fully paid up member of the Association of Dull Shits here.

I think one of the main reasons is culture and the way our society is set up. I have been to many 3rd world countries where formula is almost unheard of. Wet nursing (where someone else breastfeeds your baby) is very common as women still encounter problems bf. Often there are 4 or 5 women in the village who basically breastfeed all of their lives- if you have trouble you take your baby to one of these woman. Women also bf each other's babies if one of them is busy/not there etc, (this can contribute to spread of AIDS). This is not seem an acceptable in our country so we have to be with our babies 24/7.

It is also an everyday sight to see breasts and breastfeeding. Boobs are not seems as the 'sexual funbags' like they are here. Women will walk around with their babies slung and their boobs out so their babies can latch on anytime themselves. Also, by the time a woman has a baby she has seen hundreds of women breastfeed, she has seen how problems are resolved and she is surrounded by a supportive family/extended family. Often women are encouraged to take to their beds for weeks after childbirth in order to 'bond' with their baby.

Now tell me, how many more of us here might have breastfed for longer if we had that support (forgetting for a moment that in some countries babies are breastfed or babies die).

A US doctor in The Gambia once told me how many lives the invention of formula had saved. After hearing that I realise how lucky we are to live in a county with easy safe access to formula and we don't have to desperately feed our 4 week old mushed rice and dirty water to try and keep it alive. Everyone should have to see that image then this criticism of women's choice to bf/ff night stop and we might all realise how lucky we are.

Our culture is different. We are never going to go back to the traditional woman at home surrounded by extended family scenario, therefore ff is always going to play a big part. In the big scheme of things i.e children eating junk food, surrounding by chemicals, being reared by strangers, it isn't the big issue it is made up to be.

The daft thing is that while FFing is frowned upon in some quarters BFung is only seen as desirable by some until a certain age - there are many Mothers who post comments on here because they've been told they should stop at 3/6/12 months or called selfish or accused of only BFing for their own sake.
We genuinely can't win sometimes.
Btw, I FF all 3. The BFing 'counsellor' I saw while in hospital with DC2 was vile and fully deserved the official complaint I made against her.

I FF because I see the first year of babyhood as something to be endured to get the child I want.

Any device or aid that means my life is made even slightly easier is used. With formula I can hand the baby to DH and go to bed and know he has no reason at all to disturb me. Two lots of PND mean I pretty much no longer give a shit about whether I'm selfish or not.

Although I am breastfeeding my 6 week old quite successfully (although I did have the usual struggles at first) I can understand from a support point of view why some people don't manage it.

Throughout my pregnancy all the midwives and health visitors promoted breastfeeding, offered support, told me that I would receive loads of support in the hospital etc. this didn't really happen. I had a 10 min tutorial when DS was born, then just left to it. The midwife didn't even come back to check how we were getting on, in fact I didn't see her again. Then in the ward I had to ask for help from a different midwife who wasn't very helpful, I really didn't feel I got the support I'd been promised.

The nhs need to deliver on their promises in the hospital and I think more mothers would continue to breastfeed (if that is what they want to do, of course)

I had hardly any milk. Didn't try to breastfeed with 2nd child. Breastfeeding is great if you can do it but many women can't. DDs are both healthy!!

I won't be BF as I have a medical condition which requires me to have medication which is not conducive with BF. Basically I'd be giving my baby drugs.

Did a cost benefit analysis with obstetrician and agreed better for us both if I'm well rather than me breastfeeding.

Downstairs- I've had the same conversation with some very judgemental people. I was even told off for having a c section, they instantly thought it was because I'm too posh to push!

DD1 wouldn't latch at all, wasn't interested in the slightest and the 'help' I got was nothing short of pure shite from everywhere I tried. I tried to express and couldn't. Not bfing gave me a lot of problems, depression and I still haven't quite forgiven myself for failing. She's now 6 and a half...

DD2 latched ok but I could only feed her from one boob whilst lying down (massive boobs and odd nipple on other one). Quickly realised that life was going to be pretty impossible if that was the only way I could feed her. Surmised that DD1 survived on the evil formula so I was quite sure DD2 would. She has. So far the sky hasn't come crashing down around my ears and I am more at peace with my decision re DD2 than I was with DD1.

I did it for 2- 3 months. I hated every minute.

I had mastitis, he fed constantly, I couldn't leave the house, it hurt, the rush of oxytocin made me feel sick, I was exhausted, he wasn't putting on weight, I found it revolting, I felt I was a milk cow not a human being, it was affecting my relationship with my son, I was being patronised by my less than useless health visitor and the smug bitch from the NCT masquerading as a "counsellor"

Is that enough for you?

puddymuddles

"I had hardly any milk"

Oh shame on you - don't you know every woman produces enough milk - you just weren't trying hard enough (which is of course utter bollocks but didn't stop the NCT witch saying it to me)

I have bf all my dc very briefly. I hated every minute of it. Found it very boring, hated feeling like a great big cow, , hated that it gave me less independence than DH, hated the way it felt.

Me too. I fed long enough for them to get he initial benefits. then it was on the bottle.
They all turned out really healthy.

Thankyou to everyone who has been good enough to give me honest answers - this has been a remarkably interesting and informative thread I'm also amazed - and grateful! - that it hasn't descended into a fight.

If I haven't used up my entitlement to goodwill and honesty - feel like I might be pushing my luck!, could I ask another question? Those of you who had difficulty with getting your baby latched on/inverted nipples/etc, did you ever try with a nipple shield? If not, was that because you didn't want to, couldn't take any more stress, didn't have that option, or something else? Sorry, this is probably coming across badly and as though I'm accusing anyone who didn't try with a nipple shield of not doing things properly. I don't mean to sound like that. Again, I'm just curious - because I had great difficulty BF at first due to a combination of flat nipples on big breasts and baby with a lazy latch and a small mouth. The nipple shield is the only way I am able to BF her even now.

Phaedra: Yes - I'm not after a specific number; it's not for me to judge whether or not your reasons are 'adequate'. I'm simply interested in what they are, so I thank you (genuinely) for sharing.

I'm sorry to hear you and so many others experienced such a lack of help and support. FF by choice is one thing; FF because you couldn't get the support you needed to BF when you wanted to is quite sad, I think.

Lol,at children reared by strangers thats gratuitously slipped in, on feeding thread?
Which children would these be,reared by strangers?cast asunder to care of strangers
Do you in fact mean nursery/cm?and you're passing an acerbic judgement that they constitute strangers

I expected to ff, as the thought of bf horrified me. My boobs are really sensitive to hormones, and ache for the full two weeks between ovulation and my period, to the extent that it is extremely painful to even run for a bus. I didn't think I could take more pain on top of that.

However, I did agree to try bf, and found it much easier than expected. I'm still ebf at 5 months. No periods yet, so it's actually been less painful than if I ff.

I realise that it was sheer luck though. After 10 days in nicu feeding expressed milk, when I was finally allowed to try bf he launched himself at my nipple and that was that. Some babies just go for it, and some don't.

There are some real down sides - harder for dh to bond, and harder to get time for myself. I can see why these would be big issues for people.

I bf both my dcs. I was so lucky in that it was easy for me, and I do mean lucky. I know people who had real problems.

And I don't judge others for their choices, I'll defend their right to do was suits them.

I was FF by mum, as was my younger bro.

A friend of mine had a baby after a double masectomy/reconstruction. She got grief for not bfing, because she didn't then want to have to tell everyone about her illness. It was none of their business. There are some seriously judgy people about, it was rather nasty at the time.

I wasn't mithered one way or another about either. I had formula in my bag and thought I'd probably give breastfeeding a go and make my decision then.

Anyway, got diagnosed with GD and the obstetrician instructed my to start expressing from 37 weeks because otherwise my baby could die (yes, really) and that put my back up immeasurably.

Anyway I didn't get chance as at 6.40, dead on 37 weeks I had a PROM. They did a section that morning. They did a 'first breastfeed' in recovery which pissed me off when she told me as she never asked but both me and the baby were smacked off our tits from the drugs so there was no engagement on either side.

They had to do heel prick tests due to the GD and his sugar was low so they needed to feed him to get it up - they asked if they could FF him and, of course, the answer was yes (I had no milk, wtf else could they have done?).

I could have given it a go when my milk came in but tbh I couldn't be arsed. My husband and I could split the feeds, which helped him get involved too, and we got a really nice feeding/sleeping rota worked out that benefitted the whole family.

Would I ff again? In a heartbeat. Would I try bf next time? Maybe. I think I'd approach it with the same thoughts - I might give it a go bit won't be bothered if it doesn't happen. As long as the baby is fine who cares?

I firmly believe people should keep their beaks out of other people's feeding choices - this whole pro-breastfeeding thing is nonsense. It isn't something to be pro or anti. It just is. All imo of course.

I BF all 3 of mine. I think there is social pressure to STOP - 'are you STILL feeding ?' I fed my last one for 18 months and in retrospect stopped too early for all of them - of course it is tough in the early months but by 12 months you are only feeding about twice a day and it's so different.

I felt good when I breastfed - hormonally it must have agreed with me I suppose. And I was way too lazy to be preparing bottles and getting out of bed in the night to get a bottle.
When I had an appallingly painful yeast infection in my milk ducts all the GP's I saw told me to stop feeding my 8 month old as a solution. I was outraged and refused to give in. The only support I had was phone line help like La Leche and I do think it's a shame how little help there is. For my generation our mothers bottle fed so weren't usually in a position to be supportive.