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Original poster

To hope that I can ask about FF without being shot down in flames?

999 replies

Darksideofthemoon88 · 23/08/2014 12:58

I'm interested in WHY people choose to FF if not for medical reasons (ie they can't because of medication they have to take, or because their baby was very premature and is unable to suckle) - I've seen a lot of threads where people assert that FF was best for them/their family/their baby or that they chose to FF without trying BF, and I'm curious as to why. Genuinely curious I'm not interested in fighting with anyone about what's best or right; I'd just like to read about why people FF because I honestly don't know. In the interests of full disclosure though (I know how MNs feel about this! Grin ), I am a breastfeeding mother.

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Devilforasideboard · 23/08/2014 19:09

DS was early, sleepy and lazy. He would get so frantic he coudn't latch and when he eventually did woudn't stay on. I had 24 hours of midwives basically constantly trying to get him to feed but he couldn't. I ended up with a very painful nipple from them forcibly hand-expressing so it was too painful to even attempt to feed from that side for a couple of days. His blood sugar was dropping and if we had't given him formula he would have gone to special care.

After 3 and a half years of ttc, IVF and a high risk pregnancy ending in emcs I couldn't face that so we gave him a bottle. It seemed easier to continue but I expressed and managed some BF which was lovely. I think if someone had suggested a) using nipple shields and b) giving him a bit of formula first so he wasn't so frantic we might have managed better. However once I had worked that out I was on the verge of PND and couldn't face days and possibly weeks of sleep deprivation while we got BF established.

In hindsight I have no regrets other than wishing I'd persevered a bit with mixed feeding and would do the same again. Oh and listening to the NCT breastfeeding consultant who spouted a load of bollocks about how lovely and easy it would all be.

Devilforasideboard · 23/08/2014 19:11

Oh and DS has been in childcare since he was 4 and a half months old. Do I have to change childminder regularly so they're still a stranger? Thanks to his father being deployed for seven months this year his childminder is probably less of a stranger to him than he is...

soverylucky · 23/08/2014 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

minionmadness · 23/08/2014 19:15

I gave it my best shot I really did... after two weeks I gave in and FF.

Dts's were struggling to latch on, dts1 had tongue tie.

I had them on the breast ALL the time and I was beginning to hallucinate from the sleep deprivation.

After waiting 7 years for them (7 cycles of IVF) I began to hate myself for not enjoying them.

I just couldn't keep up with them... the supply could not keep up with demand. I know twin mums who do but I couldn't.

After two weeks my lovely midwife said... For goodness sake minion, just do what best for your family, so I did and FF from then.

Actually with twins it would have been less time consuming to breast feed so I certainly didn't FF to make my life easier.

hollie84 · 23/08/2014 19:21

I breastfed both my babies because I love it and they love it. Despite some early difficulties (jaundice and tongue tie related) particularly with DS2, it has been pretty plain sailing. If it had been really difficult, painful or stressful I don't think I'd have bothered.

I have also formula fed both, just because I wanted to.
I don't want to express
I like to sleep
I want to be able to go out and leave them with DP or my mum
I'm going back to work when DS2 is 6 months

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 23/08/2014 19:28

Bloody hell I can get a stranger to raise her? Shock where is this magical place? Grin

scottishmummy · 23/08/2014 19:30

Stranger to raise your wean, id try gumtree, or google strangers4your wean.com

xxx28xxx · 23/08/2014 19:37

I breastfed my 13 week old for the first 9 weeks before switching to formula. For me it was the best decision, mainly for my sanity! As a first time mum I felt HUGE pressure to bf from all health officials, mil, friends, colleagues...the list was endless. Everyone seemed to have an opinion on how I should feed MY baby and all felt breast was best! Thankfully my husband fully supported my decision to swap over as he could see I wasn't coping with the pressure.

I just didn't enjoying bf, I didn't like the feeling, hated feeding in public, felt like my body wasn't my own, got real anxiety over how much my baby was eating and wanted to share the feeding as I was exhausted all the time.

The only reason I didn't switch sooner was i felt like a complete failure and thought that bf was the only way. Looking back i can see that logic was ridiculous but as a first time mum the pressure was just so immense and I also put so much on myself. If we have another baby I may bf but probably only for the first 6 weeks.

I have t say its nice to hear that many women felt the same as me, a lot of my friends are still bf which sometimes makes me doubt my decision but then I look at my healthy, happy son who now has a much happier mummy :)

scousadelic · 23/08/2014 19:46

I fed DS for exclusively for 4 months then mixed feeding till 6 months but it was hard going as I never seemed to have quite enough milk no matter how much I fed him. The NCT woman told me I just needed to persist but having fed him almost hourly for months I resigned myself to being an inadequate freak of nature and moved on. He was a dreadful sleeper, possibly as a result of the almost hourly feeding, and was 15 months old before starting to sleep through

I started off bfeeding DD but when she started to need very frequent feeds I decided this was no coincidence, my milk was inadequate and I brought in a bedtime bottle at 6 weeks. It was the best decision ever as she gained weight more steadily, slept better and the whole family was calmer and happier

Never managed to find a stranger to raise mine either Grin

WyrdByrd · 23/08/2014 19:46

Had a traumatic induced birth culminating in EMCS, followed by a week in hospital with jaundiced DD, during which time she was taken away and bottlefed by midwives two nights running Hmm .

I got next to no support with BF and after a week at home it was taking DH & I 20 minutes plus to latch on a screaming DD whilst I sobbed and felt like a failure.

The idea of continuing to pursue BF when DH went back to work doing 12-16 hour shifts was quite frankly a complete non-starter.

FryOneFatManic · 23/08/2014 19:58

If FF was so dangerous as the extreme pro-bfers, midwives, HVs, etc, infer, it would be banned.

FrankelandFilly · 23/08/2014 19:58

I breast fed my daughter for 8 weeks before switching to formula. In that time I suffered from agonising cracked nipples and 2 bouts of mastitis. Breastfeeding hurt so much that I cried in anticipation of every feed and I think was on the verge of developing PND.

Switching was the best thing I could do for my mental health and I was able to start enjoying my daughter.

MoragG · 23/08/2014 20:00

Because lack of sleep was having a very detrimental effect on my mental health. I was so tired I was almost hallucinating. I was completely unable to sleep when my baby slept. I needed DH to be able to help with night feeds. Yes it was best for me, but it was also best for DD, as I needed to be able to look after her properly.

somewherewest · 23/08/2014 20:06

I BFed DS1 for 15 months but I'm seriously considering FFing DS2 when he arrives in December. DS1 was a complete bottle refuser and twelve months of getting up several times a night on top of longstanding insomnia issues just broke me. At least with FFing I can split night feeds with DH, who happens to not need much sleep (the lucky bastard Grin). On balance I reckon the disadvantages of FF are outweighed by the disadvantage to both DCs of having a cranky, depressed zombie of a mother!

somewherewest · 23/08/2014 20:07

Oh and there's the three bouts of mastitis and sleeping on a towel for three months because my breasts leaked so badly! I seem to have over supply issues.

elliejjtiny · 23/08/2014 20:15

DS4 had a cleft palate. I started exclusively expressing but it was hard work and took ages and then I got pregnant again which dramatically reduced my milk supply.

Nessalina · 23/08/2014 20:27

This has been a really interesting thread. I'm expecting my first in November and I'd been equally curious about people's motivations for FF, but I feel like I understand more now.

I very much agreed with ViviPru's post earlier today - I have no reason not to try to BF, and I hope that it works out (mainly because we're broke and it'll be a heck of a lot cheaper!), but if it doesn't, then I won't be beating myself up about it. My physical and mental health has to come first in order for me to be able to look after my baby to the the best of my ability, so if BF is not working, then c'est la vie.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 23/08/2014 20:27

I found it really painful and was so bullied by health visitors and hospital staff I felt I just wanted them to leave me alone so started formula.

I wish I had carried on breastfeeding but at the time it was a huge relief to get them off my back

hollie84 · 23/08/2014 20:32

I don't remember feeling any pressure about feeding from any health professionals.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 23/08/2014 20:42

lucky you hollie, doesn't mean no-one else did.

Writerwannabe83 · 23/08/2014 20:45

I had it the other way round in the hospital - nobody would help me with my BF and the doctors just kept telling me to give formula instead.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 23/08/2014 20:53

That was my experience writer it was awful.
Especially after such a dreadful delivery.

hollie84 · 23/08/2014 20:53

I didn't say it did Moomin.

HavanaSlife · 23/08/2014 20:56

I didn't have any pressure from hcps, my dc are 19, 11, 3 and 18 months. I live in an area where ff is the norm and dont know many people who bf.

I'm still bf ds4 and I can say that any negative reactions I've had from friends and family came when I continued after 6 months.

Women should support each other, not bf because you don't want to is a valid reason. Why the fuck anyone cares how another women feeds her child I will never know.

You couldn't look at my dc now and know which ones were bf and which weren't, it's such a small, short period of parenting. As the years go by there are so many more important issues , decisions that you have to make that how they were fed for the first year stops being a bloody issue.

hollie84 · 23/08/2014 21:18

I live in an area where FF is the norm too. HCPs have been supportive about breastfeeding but no judgement when I've started formula.