Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To hope that I can ask about FF without being shot down in flames?

999 replies

Darksideofthemoon88 · 23/08/2014 12:58

I'm interested in WHY people choose to FF if not for medical reasons (ie they can't because of medication they have to take, or because their baby was very premature and is unable to suckle) - I've seen a lot of threads where people assert that FF was best for them/their family/their baby or that they chose to FF without trying BF, and I'm curious as to why. Genuinely curious I'm not interested in fighting with anyone about what's best or right; I'd just like to read about why people FF because I honestly don't know. In the interests of full disclosure though (I know how MNs feel about this! Grin ), I am a breastfeeding mother.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
soverylucky · 25/08/2014 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/08/2014 18:14

Ok. No one is affected by advertising. My mistake. It only serves to promote brand loyalty

soverylucky · 25/08/2014 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittlePeaPod · 25/08/2014 18:16

*And why else would someone persevere through difficult times other than because they believed in the benefit of what they were trying to do?

I don't believe anyone has argued any different. As I have said before, both BF and FF mothers should get equal support instead of this skewed objective we currently have where BF is forced on every woman and FF is demonised. I have the same issue with VB vs CS but that's a different thread I set up which ended in very heated discussions.

We need unbiased, supportive information and education for all women. We also need to end the judgemental opinions which are directed at women who choose different options to our own.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/08/2014 18:18

But they have been criticised for saying so peapod

GreenPetal94 · 25/08/2014 18:18

I breastfed my first son but couldn't breastfeed my second as I had to take meds.

So I ended up formula feeding a tiny baby with two under two and yes it worked well for me. I think for two main reasons:

  1. I could pass the baby and the bottle to dh or the numerous other willing helpers and get some space to care for my elder son one on one.
  1. My ds2 (unlike breastfed ds1) slept through at 4 months and as I was not that well myself this was gold-dust to me.

I'm still pretty pro breast feeding but I don't think it is always the easiest option. What makes us a good parent is staying sane ourselves, especially when you have more than one child.

LittlePeaPod · 25/08/2014 18:20

I have to disagree TheRealAmanda. What I have seen is they have been challenged because how they wrote their post implied some sort of judgement on FF.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/08/2014 18:23

Well we can agree to disagree on that.
Im still interested in what ppl have said about choices, its been very valuable.
We make choices all the time. Im not even sure i know the reasons for all of mine tbh.

Fairylea · 25/08/2014 18:24

The c section and vaginal birth analogy is a good one. Imagine if someone started a thread "what your reasons for choosing an elective section?" And then someone came along and said they had a natural birth using just gas and air.

That would be a bit rude, wouldn't it? Not to mention completely besides the point.

And the health risks / benefits are a similar debate (I have had both births by the way).

Fairylea · 25/08/2014 18:25

(As in said for example "I've had a natural birth because I wanted what was best for my baby" blah blah).

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/08/2014 18:26

Yes, the "freedom" thing again rainbow
Dh has taken the dcs to his sister's today so i can get on with some work
When i was ebf that couldn't have happened.
I could have expressed, but always found it a faff in the early days, it never fitted in.

LittlePeaPod · 25/08/2014 18:26

Fairy I set up a very similar thread on CS to that and people came on and said some pretty ignorant things. Including telling me I should never have got pregnant if I didn't want to push a baby out of my vigina! Hmm

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/08/2014 18:29

You cant a,ways choose a natural birth though.
You can choose how you feed, or at least how you intend to feed.

Being unable to bf after starting is no more a personal failure than your delivery not going as planned.

Nobody would have chosen my delivery with pfb.

soverylucky · 25/08/2014 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/08/2014 18:33

Is that what you think?
I certainly don't. And that is not what i was saying.

soverylucky · 25/08/2014 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairylea · 25/08/2014 18:39

Little pea pod that's awful. Some people are just hideous. Thanks

But Amanda that is what you are implying. That by ff from birth women are failing. And they are not. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/08/2014 18:39

So why ask?
Of course i wasn't suggesting that.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/08/2014 18:45

No it isnt.
Somebody said that not being able to have a natural birth has been described by some ppl as being a personal failure.
I am saying that it isnt. And neither is the inability to bf.
It was an aside. It had nothing to do with anyones choice about feeding method. Its really not fair to to accuse me of implying that.

I have made comments about choices. And i have not judged ppl for their choices.

As i said its too tortuous now.

hoobypickypicky · 25/08/2014 18:46

I've just returned from work to see how this has moved on. There's too much to address but I have to say a few things.

minifingers - "stop trying to stop people talking about [medical evidence] because you [FFs] find it emotionally uncomfortable to consider it in this light."

And you stop trying to tell us how we feel about what some of us consider to be over-exaggerated 'evidence'" You have no idea how I feel about it for goodness sakes woman! You're not in my head! For the record, I don't and never have felt "emotionally uncomfortable". The word for how I feel is "sceptical".

You can tell me that the (minimal) negatives to my child of FF outweigh the extent to which it benefits me as much as you like but I still won't buy it. It's bollocks.

Seagulls, please, I beg of you, don't assume that you're not at risk of breast cancer due to your size, weight, diet and lack of family history. Check yourself as if you were at serious risk, monthly. I was just like you but the bastard thing got me all the same.

And before anyone says it, yes I did FF exclusively. Yes that may have played a part in me getting breast cancer - but it just as much might not. If anyone can prove to me - prove beyond doubt - that I wouldn't have got breast cancer had I breastfed I'll donate next months income to La Leche League. Until that time I'll remain sceptical and will get very angry at definite links between my breast cancer and my not breast feeding being made by people who've never seen my medical records and who aren't experts in the field so you've been warned.

Pistol, "tedium" - yes, that's another one to add to the long list of why I chose not to breast feed. Cheers for that.

Fairylea · 25/08/2014 18:53

You're saying the "inability" to breastfeed isn't a personal failure. But the choice not to is?

That was the point I was making.

Why don't you just say what you really think without flip flopping around it. You think it's fine for women not to bf if they have tried and cannot. But for a woman to choose not to because she doesn't want to then that is a failure in your eyes. It's clear from your posts that is what you think.

Well I'm not a failure and neither are the millions of others of ffing from birth mothers.

SeagullsAndSand · 25/08/2014 18:54

Will do Hooby.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/08/2014 19:07

No. I am not saying that. fairy
I did not say that
I do not believe that.

You can choose to believe that is what im saying. But i am not saying that.

hoobypickypicky · 25/08/2014 19:09

Thank you Seagulls. I'm evangelical about the subject to the point of being a PITA but if just one woman can benefit from my experience it'll be worth people wanting to strangle me.

Deverethemuzzler · 25/08/2014 19:11

Ok. No one is affected by advertising. My mistake. It only serves to promote brand loyalty

That was quite a turn around. Do you really think that no one is affected by advertising and its only to promote brand loyalty?

If you don't why post it?

If that is you trying to say that I think that no one is affected by advertising and I believe it only promotes brand loyalty..why not say that instead?

Because posting in that manner makes you look incapable of reasoned debate.

Oh, yeah, and its annoying

Smile