To hope that I can ask about FF without being shot down in flames?

[Darksideofthemoon88]

I'm interested in WHY people choose to FF if not for medical reasons (ie they can't because of medication they have to take, or because their baby was very premature and is unable to suckle) - I've seen a lot of threads where people assert that FF was best for them/their family/their baby or that they chose to FF without trying BF, and I'm curious as to why. Genuinely curious I'm not interested in fighting with anyone about what's best or right; I'd just like to read about why people FF because I honestly don't know. In the interests of full disclosure though (I know how MNs feel about this! ), I am a breastfeeding mother.

*do formula feed.

People here have said it doesn't matter how a baby is fed, as long as its fed.
Thats not a bf advocate saying that a ff mother doesn't care how a baby is fed.
When bf women have talked about overcoming difficulties and continuing to bf and being pleased about it they have been accused of being smug and superior and judgemental.
Again and again ffers have said they don't believe in the benefits of bf.
That is not a bf mother or advocate saying that ffers don't understand the benefits of bf. its ffers saying they don't believe them.

I have just seen your last post.

No it doesn't. I have not told anyone that they shouldn't discuss stats.
I have pointed out that they are not particularly useful to the majority of women.

Which wasn't in the least bit rude.

Upthread a bfer said she had overcome difficulties in bf and succeeded and she had persevered because she wanted to do the best for her baby. This comment was met with a
Several posts about how she thought she was better than the ffers. Were they meant to worship at her feet?
So, very clearly, women are mot able to speak about their positive experiences her without being accused of judging others.

And no, the adverts did not affect your nipples, i daresay.
But it is extremely naive to suggest that advertising does not influence our choices.

But saying someone overcame difficulties to breastfeed to do "the best for her baby" is a loaded comment. Of course it's going to annoy formula feeding mums.

Amanda can you really not see that the addition of

"because she wanted to do the best for her baby"

makes that a highly judgemental comment?

For example, someone could say they had a lot of problems with breastfeeding but managed to work through them and they really enjoyed breastfeeding etc etc.

See - no judgement. Personal experience.

Doing the "best for your baby" is what every good parent does regardless of how you feed them.

TheReal you're referring to silver, who was rude and judgmental to others. When it was pointed out that she was insinuating that ff mums just aren't dedicated enough and don't do the best for our babies, she whined that she should be allowed to be proud of her achievement - unfortunately it seems she's unable to do that without being rude to others. So we offered her the medals and hero-worship she was clearly after.

If I was to post on a thread about ELCS and say 'Well I persevered and had a vaginal birth because I wanted the best for my baby and was dedicated to it', I'd be rightly torn to shreds. Why is it alright when we'retalking about feeding choices?

Also the comment...

Fairylea what am I not allowed to be proud of my acheivement?

Be proud. But don't show off

I have stated several times on this thread that I found BF easy and I enjoyed it.

No one has attacked me.

I even went so far as to say I hated FF.
Again, no attacks.

Because I didn't feel the need to attach any sort of judgement to either of those statements.

e.g. I hated FF , not, I hated FF because it was not good enough for my baby.

you see?

You can think whatever you want about the fact you BF or how great BF is

To come on a thread of FF mums discussing their experiences is rather rude though

It's a shame because I actually thought this was an interesting thread about FF experiences and feelings until the it's such a shame brigade showed up and started another stats war

So amanda I was subjected to the same adverts as everyone else.
Why did't they 'work' on me then?

I BF. Is it because I care more about my babies than the other women on this thread so I fought the impulses caused by those ads?

Not likely is it?

But lots of ppl have said they aren't or weren't dedicated to bf.

That was the initial point of the thread. Why ppl choose to ff, no not even start bf.

People here have said it doesn't matter how a baby is fed, as long as its fed.

And what's wrong with this? I don't think it matters whether you BF or FF as long as mum and baby are healthy and happy.

Thats not a bf advocate saying that a ff mother doesn't care how a baby is fed.

I think Mini implied FF mothers don't care about how a baby is fed in her last post.

When bf women have talked about overcoming difficulties and continuing to bf and being pleased about it they have been accused of being smug and superior and judgemental.

now if this is true that would be wrong too but I can't recall seeing this.

again and again ffers have said they don't believe in the benefits of bf.

Again what's wrong with this? That is their opinion based on whatever researched or discussions they have had.

As some BF mothers believe in the benefits of BF and its their right to think this, some FF mothers don't buy into it in the same way and that's their right too.

That's exactly it.

You hear a mother say "I loved breast feeding. It went really well for me"

And you think "Ah, that's wonderful"

You hear a mother say "I found breast feeding really hard, but in the end I got through it"

And you think "Good for you. Glad it worked out"

Because those are nice, positive statements with no judgement attached.

I dont know devere obviously i cant answer that.

Are you suggesting that advertising has no influence on our behaviour?

And why else would someone persevere through difficult times other than because they believed in the benefit of what they were trying to do?

Better support is needed for bf women.
And, imho, better information is needed on the use and preparation of formula.

Adverts are there to sell things. We all know that. But their influence is not as simple as 'pregnant woman sees advert for Formula, decides to FF'

Advertising FF in other countries is far more problematic for lots and lots of reasons.

I would be happy if formula was no longer advertised in the UK but I don't think for one minute it would stop people FF.

It would cut down on brand loyalty maybe?

But lots of ppl have said they aren't or weren't dedicated to bf

So what?

There is too much twisting on this thread for me to unravel

SMa had it right." Youre doing great" [it doesnt matter]

And why else would someone persevere through difficult times other than because they believed in the benefit of what they were trying to do?

Some people might believe that sending their children to private school was of benefit to their children. They may well have scrimped and saved and gone through "difficult times" to achieve that.

But if they went around saying "I sent my child to private school because I wanted what was best for my child" to a load of people who state educated, they'd been seen as pretty fucking annoying.

If they just said "My child attends private school" that would be fine. A judgement-free statement of fact. Even if you could infer that they were no doubt doing that because they thought it was of benefit, not feeling the need to vocalise that bit makes a big difference.

The reason Tibetan women are not to be found complaining about breast feeding is because we can't hear their blood-curdling screams from the mountains. Either that or they have nipples of leather (which is probably the case sat squatting at the foot of Everest with their tits out all day).

So what?
Because others have accused bf advocates of being judgemental by saying that some ffers don't care how their babies are fed.
I am simply remarking that the "don't care how babies are fed" remarks came from ffers, not bf advocates.