To scream loudly and repeatedly at my boyfriend for not killing a spider?

[Beeyump]

Let me begin by stating that I am very scared of spiders, to the point of getting hysterical and wanting to run as far away as I can. If possible, I kill them because I can't bear to be near them. Anyway, my boyfriend - who knows all this - was staying last night, when a horribly large brown spider was spotted. I lost it, yelling at him to GET RID OF IT AND KILL IT, or at least put it outside. He did not, instead picking it up and transferring it to another room. When he informed me of this I got really angry, because I felt as though he had completely ignored my feelings/fear. Before this he had been finding it funny , but when I properly screamed at him he told me that if I 'carried on' he would leave. This episode rather dampened the rest of the evening...

Afterwards I felt guilty, stupid, but also pretty angry at him. Think I'm probably being unreasonable, but I don't feel it

Soverylucky, I was very bad....I would shake, sweat, get nausea at the sight of a spider, even a picture or a plastic toy. If there was a spider in the bath I'd put towels against the door crack, drive to the gym and have my shower there and avoid the house all day until someone could go in and get it. And now I see one and go, "oh, a spider" *shrugs". Life changing! Please read the other testimonials on the website: they speak for themselves! x

Spiders are smaller than you. So are grenades.

I'll let that sit for a moment.

Your boyfriend is an ass for moving it to another room instead of putting it outside or killing it. He did it deliberately either because he's immature or he's being a dick (or both!). He deserved to get yelled at.

I've ran screaming from the shower because a spider crawled down the tiles.

Killing the spider? Because it had the audacity to actually exist near you?

Perhaps your boyfriend thinks you are being utterly pathetic and should grow up.

My DH has a phobia about spiders too. He has never killed one.

I would not have married him if he killed them.

Why does your fear trump a spider's life?

You are being precious.

I am genuinely stunned that ppl are offended by the killing of a spider.
I did not know there were so many vegans around tbh.

Im also surprised there are so many people who ignore the term phobia or don't understand it.
Its a severe and irrational fear. There is no sense in pointing out that (most) spiders won't harm you or that you are bigger than them
I have a friend who is phobic for ladybirds. Pointing out to her that a ladybird is smaller than her, actually quite pretty and not going to kill her would make me sound like a stupid insensitive bitch.

I'm not a vegan but I am stunned by the arrogance that just because someone is phobic that something else needs to be killed. What about people who are phobic about dogs or even inanimate objects. You know you have the phobia, it is up to you to handle it appropriately.

Also why not try hypnotherapy? (My BF did this to get over her rat phobia as Tube travel was a nightmare).

Well if youre eating meat or drinking milk (have you seem how cows react when their babies a taken from them so we can harvest their milk?) or wearing leather etc... Then i think its disingenuous and conflicting to claim some moral victory over spider conservation.
There's no chance of few spiders being stomped affecting the population to any environmental effect. And if that is what is needed to alleviate the terror of a phobic then i think it's reasonable. The level of fear in a phobic response is akin to an immediate that to life. It is not some silly girl flapping about the place to get attention.
Dogs are different. It is all about avoiding. Dogs do not hide in your house and go rampaging around the bathroom/ bedroom/ kitchen and up drainpipes.

You can't just avoid spiders. They are in our houses. You cannot ask them to leave, or not buy them or not go to shops that sell them.
They all must be destroyed have to be removed or killed.

"they are more scared of you than you are of them"

I think not. I can't get within a metre of a spider without totally freaking out and almost having a panic attack. Does the spider fear coming near me? Does it hell! It will quite happily run across my feet or up my leg given half the chance.

jellybelly'that phrase is so ignorant its almost funny.

It's not about being vegan. It's the arrogance of obliterating another creature because you happen to fear it.

Believe me, I know about phobias. I have my own.

But I find it utterly absurd that you would kill quite happily this way instead of putting this creature outside.

Your boyfriend is probably sick of the histrionics, tbh.

Some of the responses on here are disgusting. It's nice to know how many people look down on us phobic folk isn't it?

You don't understand about arachnophobia.
Your last post undrlines that very clearly.

arrogant obliteration purlease!

I'm with Amanada - spiders in my home have to die. I've been late for work before because of a category 3 encounter in the morning. It went under the book case but fortunately I could reach it with the vacuum hose. The spider lovers will no doubt ask why I didn't just leave it under there - if I had left it and gone to work I would not have been able to go back into the flat in the evening. And no, I am not exaggerating.

roonerspin

It's really not as simple as putting the creature outside. I have a phobia, I cannot touch it or even be near it, even looking at the damn thing is a struggle. How do you suggest I take it outside?

Besides, the op was not insisting on it being killed.
Killed or put outside. Not just placed in another room.
Tbh, that would be a very useful way to emotionally abuse a phobic.
But i guess the hysterical bint deserves it for not getting a grip.

My DH has arachnaphobia. I have a phobia - properly diagnosed - which I have sought treatment for (not spiders).

I understand phobias...

But that doesn't mean you can should arrogantly assume it is fine to kill what you fear.

I'm not kidding - if DH had killed a spider then I would have not married him.

You sound pathetic.

Fuck off

Well jelly - you have to kill it by thumping it with something. DH finds that worse than either covering it up until I am home or gingerly doing it himself.

Don't you feel even slightly guilty?

As I said - if that is your response then you do need to grow up.

If you have a severe phobia you cannot get close enough to cover it up.
I have never killed a spider in my home. I cannot get close enough.
Obviously you find that pathetic, but its just how it is with a severe phobia.
I

Not really.
Just reacting to your personal insult.

I used to be afraid of and upset by spiders. I wouldn't have called it a phobia but I really didn't like one. I despised myself for this. So one day I made myself touch and pick up a dead spider. My heart pounded as I did it. But my fear vanished after that. Now I leave them alone or pick up and put out. It's much easier.

I never killed them though - it seems so unnecessary. Trap under a glass, slide card under, take outside, remove glass. And if you're phobic - run like hell!

run like hell
Yes, that is my favourite response.