To feel really upset aft DP pointed out a hot girl he thought should 'sit on his face'

[peachyliz]

My DP of 3 years occasionally glances at other women discreetly. I'm fine with that. More recently when his mates are over, they talk about hot women (celebrities) at great length, and I laugh and go along with it. A few times recently he has made similar comments about hot women, even when he is just with me.
Then yesterday we were going through a drive-through, and he pointed out a woman working there and said "she doesn't belong here, she is way to hot to work here", so going along with the joke, I said "oh really?". And he said "she belongs sat on my face".
I was completely stunned, and as we were on the way to spend the day with my family, I just didn't say anything. We spent the evening with friends, and he joked with them that he had crossed the line, and wanted me to just forgive him (in front of them, so no opportunity to talks about it).
I'm angry because I feel like he just doesn't respect me, and that I am a bit of a doormat. I'm having a confidence crisis anyway, because he recently spent several weeks with mention-itus about a new, beautiful female friend of his (who is apparently just lovely, talented, and invited him to a BBQ party without me). So I just feel even more insecure now. If this is the stuff he says to my face, what does he think about when he meets other women?

Sorry for the essay. Am I being unreasonable to be really upset and angry?

Nasty. This is the first time I've said this but - LTB!

Firstly it is not 'sat' on my face it is sitting. That for me would be a genuine grievance.

This is a guy whose attitude to women includes the following beliefs -

1. Good looking women should not have to do jobs like working in drive throughs. Those are for plain women obviously, who don't deserve any better as he doesn't find them attractive.

1. A woman's value = her looks. Even her looks are only relevant in terms of his sexual gratification.

1. You should be constantly reminded about the fact that women must look good and that he expects that. You mustn't be allowed to feel too secure. His feelings for you are conditional upon you always looking as he wants.

When he considers a woman, all he sees is the level of his attraction - he doesn't see them as individuals who might have their own ambitions or feelings outside his fantasies.

Yes, I can tell all this!

If you're going to be a misogynist, get the grammar right!!

Apologies for 1, 2 and 4 - if you're going to do a list, get the numbering right

Sorry, but he is a twat. Really. The only discussion you need tonight is to tell him it's over - actually don't have a discussion - just tell him. Please don't have children with this man. He's awful. I am actually quite shocked that you just didn't leave him at the drive-though and visit your family alone.

After paragraph 2 my jaw was on the floor. Lose the dickhead.
And I am no prude

He sounds boorish and bit fick

Oh, that is just gross.

I don't think anyone stops finding other people attractive just because they are in a relationship. I don't get offended if once in a blue moon my DP mentions something about a girl being attractive; once in a blue moon I might say the same thing about another guy.

But saying it in that way - god, no. No no no no no.

Get rid.

Lets be clear here,you're not talking about our situation.its his boorish behaviour
You don't co-own this.its not yiur problem,its his problem
Dont minimise this,or make it an us thing,its a him thing

Is he for real? He actually thinks telling you that he wants another woman to sit on his face is funny? He sounds incredibly immature. Is he trying to make you jealous about what a study love god he is and worried about how he could easily go off with anyone? Because if he is, then I'd dump him.

The man's clearly not worth another moment of your time. This is not how decent men behave. It's ingrained and attitudes like his are very difficult to change, even if he wanted to - which he won't.

Get rid. Be happy.

Oh, get rid for sure. He's an arse.

Urgh sounds like you're dating my ex. What a vile misogynist.

Bloody hell, how disrespectful can you get?

Please please waste no time in getting rid of him. He is 30 and should know better. I'm assuming you want to get married and have kids? If so, get rid of him and find yourself someone who won't spout this sort of nonsense. He has done it once and if you forgive him this time you will set yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness.

Jeez, I can't believe some of the things that come out young men's mouths sometimes.

Next time you go to the Drive Thru tell him you'd like to sit on some young teenager's cock and see how he likes it... Same difference....

What a prat. One you don't need.

OP, have you tried the, I don't know if she'd want to sit on your face or stamp on it, I know I struggle with which to choose, approach? Hopefully it might help him think.

Never said this before, but LTB. Now. You deserve better than that.

I was once asked by a young lad in a nightclub to "sit on his face", I replied with "Why? Do I look like I need to take a shit?".

Its not that he doesn't respect you OP, he doesn't respect women full stop. FWIW, it sounds like he is that immature, he wouldn't know what to do if he ever got hold of one of these women.

Kick his dumb ass to the kerb. He is a loser.

There is a line and that crosses it!

Yuck.

Oh and another thing OP, do you consider yourself more attractive than him? My friend once dated a guy who would point out attractive women who he would "give one" "take one for the team" "dream about her later". He was terribly insecure as my beautiful friend was way out of his league both looks and intelligence wise. He fed off making her insecure, it made him feel like the "big man". Luckily, my DF saw sense and laughed her ass of when she dumped him. He launched into a tirade of "I'm the best you've ever had" and even started listing the friends of hers which he would now pursue. Oh and how he did pursue us, unfortunately prior knowledge of his acorn dick and his lack of basic human decency meant he was sent away licking his wounds.

Hope your talk went OK, this evening. Did he take it seriously, or minimise it?

Sorry but your 'D'P and his mates are completely out of order, immature and disrespectful idiots. That comment about the woman sitting on his face is disgusting and is disrespectful to you, her and all women. Do not let him get away with behaviour like that.

scottishmummy is spot on - it's HIS problem, not a joint one!

Oooooooh, where did you find this charmer-Wankers R Us?

Dickheads like this don't deserve nice girlfriends.

He sounds like a revolting creature

And I'll bet you looks like one too, these type of comments tend to come from aesthetically challenged men

Laugh at him, the joker

If I had a partner who spoke about other women like that I would dump them very swiftly. I would never be with someone who made sexual remarks about other people or flaunted new friendships with "beautiful women" in my face. Don't sit him down and tell him he is making you feel insecure, tell him "you clearly have no respect for me and would prefer to be single.....please be my guest and leave now, I am not a fucking door mat". Sorry to be blunt but that sort of behaviour makes me sick !