To feel really upset aft DP pointed out a hot girl he thought should 'sit on his face'

[peachyliz]

My DP of 3 years occasionally glances at other women discreetly. I'm fine with that. More recently when his mates are over, they talk about hot women (celebrities) at great length, and I laugh and go along with it. A few times recently he has made similar comments about hot women, even when he is just with me.
Then yesterday we were going through a drive-through, and he pointed out a woman working there and said "she doesn't belong here, she is way to hot to work here", so going along with the joke, I said "oh really?". And he said "she belongs sat on my face".
I was completely stunned, and as we were on the way to spend the day with my family, I just didn't say anything. We spent the evening with friends, and he joked with them that he had crossed the line, and wanted me to just forgive him (in front of them, so no opportunity to talks about it).
I'm angry because I feel like he just doesn't respect me, and that I am a bit of a doormat. I'm having a confidence crisis anyway, because he recently spent several weeks with mention-itus about a new, beautiful female friend of his (who is apparently just lovely, talented, and invited him to a BBQ party without me). So I just feel even more insecure now. If this is the stuff he says to my face, what does he think about when he meets other women?

Sorry for the essay. Am I being unreasonable to be really upset and angry?

what on earth is the obsession with mcdonalds all about. That's a tangent if ever there was one.

Hak...

My point being I would hardly pick up on that, I'd maybe if I was offended respond with something equally as cutting, but I wouldn't run to the Internet to look for advice...

And believe you me I can be just as crude as what this hubby said to the op. She has a choice to leave if she doesn't feel respected. Me and my hubby can be incredibly crude about the opposite sex but we live and respect each other.

Poofus worrying possibility, I hadn't considered

We're 'sat' on MN now, apparently. Is it too early for ?

Beth, I'm so confused by your posts. If everything is OK with you then why do you say we have no empathy? What is it that pains you that we don't understand and ought to empathise with?

If everything is fine and you don't need advice or sympathy or pity or judgement then why do you need our empathy ?

"My point being I would hardly pick up on that, I'd maybe if I was offended respond with something equally as cutting, but I wouldn't run to the Internet to look for advice... "

Ah. Cool Girl alert!!!!

I'm banning predictive text....

Forgive me for the bluntness of my replies but I think this all could've been solved without the need for a whine on the Internet, if she ain't happy, leave him...

To go onto MN of all places and ask is it acceptable her husband is saying sexist things against her will and repeated requests to stop..... Is beyond predictable, of course the overwhelming majority in here would say she's in the right and LTB....

Ooo 'cool girl alert'

Fuck me, you're a tough cookie aren't you...

Yawn...

Jesus wept.

I'm going to do some ironing that I've put off for months.

And as for that TAAT

Fucking hell what an absolute car crash of a thread this has turned into.

Some people have low self esteem, and need reassurance from others that they are thinking clearly/ not overreacting before they make life changing decisions.

Not everyone has the confidence to jump right into a situation, and need time to think things through and take advice.

Me, nah, I'm not afraid to say my piece.

But for fucks sake, have a bit of empathy for posters on the relationships board that do need support!

Good lord beth pay for you to have a boob job? texting other women while you re pregnant? But pays for everything and is sorry now Can you not see how this sounds?

where is the TAAT...deleted already ?

*Some people have low self esteem, and need reassurance from others that they are thinking clearly/ not overreacting before they make life changing decisions.

Not everyone has the confidence to jump right into a situation, and need time to think things through and take advice.*

This with bells on.

I can see plenty of people have decided that beth is not a real poster or, if she is, she's lying about something.

Do you remember that message from HQ a few weeks ago asking people to try and be a little nicer to each other?

Maybe beth said some things that other posters don't agree with. Maybe you think she isn't 100% - who knows, we're all just names on a screen.

But does that really mean some posters have the right to lay in to her? To question why she is on MN at the moment?

So many posters operate as if other posters are all nothing more of a figment of their own imagination and couldn't possibly be real people. But would you like to imagine what it would be like if some of the comments aimed at posters (not just beth but across the whole of MN) ripping their opinions apart, declaring they can't possibly be real, saying if they are real they are a joke - just try to imagine how they might come across if the poster is real?

Exactly what Thurlow said. Peace and love people!

I think Beth had a very defensive tone and seemed very stressed. It escalated things a bit, but if she is under a great deal of pressure in her personal life then these things happen. Like most of you I didn't agree with her opinions, but I don't want to add to her worries right now. I know we don't know what is real but I will err on the side of caution. She did seem anxious and very het up so I can believe problems in RL fed into that and it ended up getting heated when it might have gone otherwise. We should bear in mind that we don't know people's full story.

I posted on Beth's TAAT not even knowing what a TAAT was, never mind that it was one. Some of the flamings on Mumsnet are not pretty.

And I came to have a look over here. Bloody hell. Okay, I don't agree with some of Beth's opinions, but I'm really repelled by some of the other posters. Thurlow and temporary, thank you for talking sense.

You know what the most annoying thing about this thread is?

It's adviCe with a c not an s. Advice.

Hi everyone,

I was going to say peace and love but it looks like Dances and Thurlow have got there first.

Poor OP. I'd skip the next 3 pages of this thread, none of it will help you.
Sounds like you need to have a good chat, does he know you don't like this (after 3 years you'd hope so?) if he does why does he do it? You shouldn't put up with it, especially after telling him it hurts your feelings.
In answer to your question YANBU, all this stuff about LTB isn't really helpful unless that's what you want. Are you just looking for a bit of encouragement to leave him? I didn't pick up on this...but maybe I'm wrong.
Sounds like you just need someone to let you know you're not being over sensitive.
If you don't want to leave him, don't. If I'm honest, if it's a one off comment or you haven't told him this upsets you yet I wouldn't leave.
Have a chat, see where you stand and if he clearly doesn't respect the fact it upsets you and continues I'm
Sure you will know what's best for you.
Big hugs!

all this stuff about LTB isn't really helpful unless that's what you want. Are you just looking for a bit of encouragement to leave him? I didn't pick up on this...but maybe I'm wrong.

OP:
he recently spent several weeks with mention-itus about a new, beautiful female friend of his

recent spate of douchebag behaviour

I've been wondering about the idea that he is just pushing me to end it, because he can't/won't.

"she belongs sat on my face": I'd ditch him for frightful use of English, never mind anything else.

I still don't think LTB is the best advise.
My point still remains, OP confront him on this behaviour, ask him how he thinks it makes you feel, gauge what you need to do from his reaction.
Best of luck.