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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think friends staying shouldn't have two twenty min showers a day

232 replies

suziepra · 10/08/2014 09:47

If got some friends staying and they keep having 40 wish mins of showering a day. A part from anything this can't be great for their skin but this is costing 1.60 a day in water with the meter and 1.40 in electric per person. Should I say something? Staying with for a week

OP posts:
Frogisatwat · 11/08/2014 07:40

I don't take that long in the shower perhaps about 10 minutes. But in someone else's house no way would I luxuriate at someone else's expense. In and out! It would be very rude in my opinion. What if they were running two baths a day? Would that be acceptable?
Yes electric showers do use less water than a bath (depending on length spent in there..
Some of the newer more powerful showers use quite a lot. Yanbu.
But I wouldn't say anything and make a mental note to never have them back

HaremScarem · 11/08/2014 09:07

Aghhhhh! They may be wasting valuble resources by taking too long in the shower but you are wasting valuble brain power by agonising over this.
Just say something..... Grin

I'm assuming you haven't already said something

Bunbaker · 11/08/2014 09:22

If the only loo in the house is in the bathroom why can't you ask your friend not to spend so much time in there when she showers?

I agree that unless you are washing very long hair and shaving legs etc that 20 minutes is way too long to spend in the shower.

fluffymouse · 11/08/2014 09:28

You seem incredibly mean.

As for the cost of water and electric are you watching the meters as they shower.

Bonkers.

I don't think you should have guests over.

YeGodsAndLittleFishes · 11/08/2014 09:41

My teenage daughter can take about an hour in the shower. I need to show her this thread! :)

The only time I need more than one shower in a day is if it is really hot ans sweaty, or I'd been swimming or running/exercising. (Though normally I try to run just before my one shower of the day).
I had 2x 20 minute showers here yesterday, but it's really humid here and I'd been swimming in a river and needed to get my hair clean.

If we had guests I wouldn't mind however many showers they had and compared to my daughter, 20 minutes is quick! (Though when sharing a bathroom it is always good to ask the hist when is a good time, and shout 'bathroom's free' on exit.)

RiverTam · 11/08/2014 09:44

fluffy - the OP is annoyed about the waste - she can afford it, she has said so repeatedly.

peggyundercrackers · 11/08/2014 10:20

im amazed that many people think water is a resource which is in shortage - in the UK it rains a fair bit of the time and for long periods at a time - water should not be in shortage! the reason its in shortage is the water companies prefer to keep their 100smillions of profit they make rather than invest in the correct infrastructure to provide us with all the water we want.

CalamitouslyWrong · 11/08/2014 10:44

But you aren't washing in rain water. You are washing in highly processed water, which has quite a big impact on the environment and all sorts of resources. And the waste water from your showers (with all the soap and stuff in it) requires treatment afterwards too. The environmental impact isn't just to do with how much rain a particular area gets.

mateysmum · 11/08/2014 11:05

OP YANBU. 20 mins once a day in a shower seems too much to me.

I do think people who don't have a water meter have no consciousness that there is a cost for using water, especially in the SW. Once you see the bills it really makes you consider things like switching off the tap when brushing your teeth.

My sister doesn't have a meter and when her kids were small, 4 of them were paying a fraction of what my elderly single mum was paying on a meter.

I think meters should be compulsory for everybody - after all we pay for all other utilities based on how much we use and the current system is just unfair.

If they are asking you to pay for petrol, I would bill them for full board and lodgings for the week!!

McFox · 11/08/2014 11:17

Peggy, how do you think rain water gets into a state suitable for us to use?! You've entirely missed the point.

fluffymouse · 11/08/2014 11:32

tam that still makes for a very mean host.

If she was only annoyed by the waste why has she calculated the cost?

I'm picturing a scrooge style op staring at the meter as guests shower.

Surfsup1 · 11/08/2014 11:54

If you were in rural Australia, living on water from a water tank and not expecting any rain for the next 4 months then I think you would have reason to mention it to them. But you live in England! England is wet - really really wet!!
I think you should probably relax a little.

ephemeralfairy · 11/08/2014 12:14

A nerve, I feel. YANBU OP. Some people are just thoughtless. If anyone comes to stay with us they get asked politely not to leave lights on or phone chargers plugged in as we are on a meter for the electricity and it is extortionate. Also we are skint. No-one has ever ever taken offence at this, in fact they all want to come and stay again. If it bothers you that much just say something!!

fatlazymummy · 11/08/2014 13:56

fluffymouse or inconsiderate entitled guests. And yes, some people do have to monitor their meters, guests or no guests.

MrsWinnibago · 11/08/2014 14:01

I shower for about three minutes. All I do is wash! DH showers for about 20 though as he likes it.

I do my hair twice a week and that takes longer. But who on earth conditions and shampoos DAILY!?

Original poster
suziepra · 11/08/2014 14:01

OK well that all came to a head and they've left after 4 days. Looking forward to having my place to myself.

Yes I can afford to waste water at the moment but I don't like to. I could afford to buy more food than I need, let half of it go off and bin it but I also don't want to waste this. If I lost my job then I very quickly could not afford to waste reasorces and money.

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 11/08/2014 14:04

What happened? Do tell.

scarletforya · 11/08/2014 14:05

What happened Op?

RiverTam · 11/08/2014 14:06

interesting! Did they find out about this thread, OP?

Tiptops · 11/08/2014 16:48

Fatlazymummy who made you the shower police? Hmm I don't remember it being against the law to have a shower lasting 20 minutes? Some people don't aim to spend the minimal amount of time possible under running water, I for one enjoy my showers! It's relaxing and a time to clear your mind without distractions.

I wish all I had to worry about was other people's showering habits.

Glad you have your own space back to yourself OP.

ADHDNoodles · 11/08/2014 17:13

Well, I do like to take 2 showers a day depending on what I did. If I'm sweaty, I like to take a shower before bed. It helps me wind down for the night and wake up in the morning. But at guests house's I take only one to be polite, unless they're renting because you don't pay individual water bills here in the US in apartments.

But, that said, you have guests over. It's a bit strange to be listening to them take a shower and brushing their teeth. Regardless of whether you think it's a waste or not, listening in and timing their hygiene habits is a bit intrusive.

When you have a guest over you just sort of have to accept that they don't live the same way you do and put up with it for a bit. Just don't have people over for longer than you can tolerate differences.

As my wise grandma says "Guests and garbage both stink after 3 days". :)

SinglePringle · 11/08/2014 17:25

MrsWinnebago I wash and condition DAILY.

I look like SideshowBob when I wake up so need to. I have lovely swishy, bouncy ahir before anyone tells me I'm ruining it...

Frogisatwat · 11/08/2014 17:59

But all the people who said she was unreasonable do you take as long as you like in someone elses house? Without a thought for their bills? Just curious. .

DownByTheRiverside · 11/08/2014 18:21

Of course not, if you are a guest you put up with whatever your host deems normal as long as you know about it. But if they rely on heavy sighing and telepathy, you can be a bit stuffed.
OP doesn't sound the sort of person who enjoys guests, or knows how to talk to them about things they do that she dislikes. So she really needs to be able to say 'No' when people want to come or extend the stay.
We've probably all visited friends and relatives who have weird customs and practices, I'm still scarred by the shame of using The Wrong Soap at my SIL's house. The decorative ones.

PunkrockerGirl · 11/08/2014 18:34

OP YANBU.
FFS what are they doing in there? It's not a case of saving water or OP being mean, although what has happened to your house your rules?
It's just that no able bodied person needs to spend that long in the shower. It would piss me off and I probably would have to say something (and before you all jump down my throat I'm an extremely generous host) but am on metered water like OP.