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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Still no thank you letter from friend for wedding present after 3 months...

304 replies

carolineannabel22 · 09/08/2014 09:12

For some random reason I realised last night that we still haven't had a thank you card from a good friend for her wedding present. She got married in May.

AIBU in that I think that's totally unacceptable? I wrote ours the week after we got back from honeymoon... I know that was keen but I knew if i didn't do it then, I'd never do it!!

OP posts:
MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 23:04

I'm in my twenties and thankyou cards have never been a 'must'. Not sure if it's just my circle of friends or the generation. I'd be interested to know.

scottishmummy · 09/08/2014 23:08

I think you have skewed sensibilities holding onto a gripe about a thank you cars not received
Its a real shame your strangled notion of etiquette and should do gets in way common sense
Is she a good friend?reliable?those attributes trump sending a thank you card

MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 23:10

Agree with scottishnummy.

scottishmummy · 09/08/2014 23:11

I dont routinely send thank you cards,no one i know does
The family auldies expect thank you letters from the kids.theyre frequently disappointed
Its a strangled,antiquated expectation.fortunately no one much adheres to the notion

MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 23:15

Is there even a shop where you buy them from or do you write them? Do people even write to each other anymore?!

adviceforme · 09/08/2014 23:16

I never sent them - I said thanks as I received guests and handed presents.

Waltermittythesequel · 09/08/2014 23:21

I never wrote one and never got one.

I think it's a bit odd to be offended about this, tbf.

SirChenjin · 09/08/2014 23:26

Don't you people even send a text to say that you appreciate the thought, time, effort and money that went into the gift? Or do you just take?

MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 23:27

I send a text or thank them at the time.

Waltermittythesequel · 09/08/2014 23:27

I say thank you, of course!

Then they thank me for spending a shit load if money on them!

scottishmummy · 09/08/2014 23:28

Id Telephone,and/or email to say thanks.
i dont knock myself out buying a shop bought thank you card

MysteriousCircusZebra · 09/08/2014 23:28

I didn't send any thank you cards after our wedding. I don't send thank you cards after children's parties either, although I do put a thanks for coming card in the party bag. I don't send christmas or birthday cards either...
I don't expect or need people to send me thank you cards either.

SirChenjin · 09/08/2014 23:29

OK, so you do acknowledge the actual present in some way more than just a take gift-thanks-move on sort of thing?

SirChenjin · 09/08/2014 23:30

Buy a shop made thank you card? You madwoman - a sheet of A4 paper from the printer suffices.

scottishmummy · 09/08/2014 23:30

I acknowledge a gift,yes.but never send thank you cards.there fussy and antiquated
No one i know sends or receives thank you cards.fortunately

MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 23:30

Of course. Never sent a card though. In fact they'd think I was weird.

scottishmummy · 09/08/2014 23:33

Op is banging on about a thank you card,presume she means shop bought?
I wouldn't post a thank you card,letter,.why?when i can call or email

SirChenjin · 09/08/2014 23:37

I took it to mean a written thank you letter as opposed to a specific card that you buy at the shops. A4 paper, sheet of Basildon Bond if you're feeling flash (presume they still make that?) or some thank you cards if you're feeling very flash.

scottishmummy · 09/08/2014 23:38

I dont know who basildon bond is?

MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 23:38

I have visions of the OP making dinner and then sudden to going Shock because she suddenly realise she hadn't had a card. Perhaps dropping a spoon at the tim

I dunno is it just my friends or is it outdated? In fact I know it's not something the generation above me did in our circles either. Are we common Blush

SirChenjin · 09/08/2014 23:43

V well known stationery brand in the UK. Been around for years.

We were always brought up to write thank you letters as children and thank-yous are always something I've done for 'big' gifts. I don't care if people phone, email or text, but it's nice to know they've received it and appreciate it - which is why I always do the same as well.

MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 23:49

Don't get me wrong I think it's nice. But it just doesn't happen here.

SirChenjin · 09/08/2014 23:52

But you do thank people - you let them know you've received their gift, you know what the contents are, and you appreciate it? Either by phone, text, or email?

AlleyCat11 · 09/08/2014 23:52

Gawd sake... Just let your friend enjoy her present. Gifts are about the receiver, not the giver.

MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 23:53

Of course, which I've already said. Who doesn't?!