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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish that the new Inbetweeners movie didn't use the word 'retarded' twice.

201 replies

stillenacht1 · 08/08/2014 22:44

Ok okI have a pretty puerile sense of humour but I also have a severely autistic son. I went to see it today and cringed when I heard it twice. I just thought that maybe the scriptwriters could have left that out- it was totally unnecessary and added nothing to the rants of the characters.

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/08/2014 18:02

Ooh touchy.

I merely asked why you were kicking the OP.

Then out comes a torrent of bitchery.

Weird.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 09/08/2014 18:03

God, Fanjo, how dare you have the audacity to voice your offence at an offensive, derogatory word, on a discussion forum? How dare you post on more than one thread about it? (Maybe you wouldn't have to if ignorant feckers got the message the first time!!!)

Mrsjayy · 09/08/2014 18:05

This is a film about 4 21 yr old boys they say much worse in the programmes I think you are taking it out of cotext a little you still didnt say who said it.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/08/2014 18:05

People with personal grudges are tiresome.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/08/2014 18:09

And the annoying thing is that the only reason people can pick apart my entire posting history and use it to flame me is because I don't name change then have a go. Unlike some.

MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 18:13

Sorry but no. I wouldn't use anything against you I'm merely mentioning how you often come into a topic like this all guns blazing despite how the topic is being discussed. I have nothing at all against you, please don't turn this into me apparently having some vendetta against you when I haven't. Merely just commenting on what I have seen and how despite me a lot of the time agreeing with you, topics like this seem to stop you from looking at other opinions and belittling those who don't agree with what you say.

That's it. And no, I don't follow your posts and don't try and turn it into a 'torrent of bitchery' when you chose to select my posts out from anyone else's of the same opinion.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/08/2014 18:17

Hmm as I said when people dont namechange its easy to have a go at their posting history isnt it.

Out of order when I asked a mere question though.

In fact just out of order in general.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/08/2014 18:19

Anyway heading to meet my friend for dinner and a show.

But feel free to carry on ranting if you like.

MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 18:28

Oh don't come that now. Your decision to name change or not and it would be quite obvious who you were if you did. I'm not having a personal go at you, I'm saying how no matter the context you do this.

Have a good dinner and show.

Bifauxnen · 09/08/2014 18:30

I don't think it's kicking the OP to point out her hypocrisy. And it is hypocrisy to be fine with certain types of bigotry then complain about a particular strain of bigotry being mixed in with the others.

MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 18:32

And my name change is because I got raped and didn't want that to follow me. So I would have been the same name if I could.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/08/2014 18:34

Fair enough except I didnt "do" anything.

But thanks for the sound telling off.

Will attempt to still enjoy my evening.

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 18:43

I did say who said it. It was the 50 yr old Australian uncle.

OP posts:
Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 18:53

This thread really is going nowhere. I have said all I have to say about sexism/homophobia. I believe the girls make the boys look ridiculous anyway.

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 09/08/2014 18:55

I think this is getting heated for no good reason.

Yes, one can berate the OP for beng offended by retard whilst not minding the ther offensive stuff.
But again, I think the op was just upset and wishes using retard in any context would stop.
I have objections to sexism and homophobia and racism. But nothing can throw me or upset me as much as an insult which at its core mocks my son who is utterly defensless.
Both sides have a point. I just think it would be kinder to acknowledge an upset mother and let it go.

Pagwatch · 09/08/2014 18:56

I'm off to dinner too.
Have a nice evening all

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 18:57

Thanks Pag SmileThanks

OP posts:
MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 19:05

I am actually very glad that the word shocks people. It shows how despicable it is in today's society. As it bloody should be. The shock factor is a good thing.

HilariousInHindsight · 09/08/2014 20:58

I don't think it should all be censored.

Unless you are inciting hatred I don't think you shouldn't be allowed to use a word--presumably they are just using it to mean slow not that they hate disabled kids but I can understand perfectly why it's upsetting.

I have a friend who is like Jay from the inbetweeners - not so bad now but still a bit. He gets really offended when you tell him he is. He'll state I may sound a bit sexist but I'm not a liar nor a pervert.

I think if we stop the media from using a certain word it takes away freedom of speech. If we monitor freedom of speech it's no longer freedom of speech if you know what I mean.

It's hard to know what to do really. When my inbetweeners friend makes inappropriate jokes and uses nasty terms I just have to cringe . If he's at our place I'll tell him to stop it if I'm at his though I just change the subject or leave the room.

Like Jay he has redeeming qualities too.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 09/08/2014 21:01

Well it won't stop me going to see the film.

dawndonnaagain · 09/08/2014 21:44

I think if we stop the media from using a certain word it takes away freedom of speech. With freedom of speech comes responsibility, as well as not inciting hatred that includes not hurting the feelings of others.

presumably they are just using it to mean slow
and to whom do you think that applies?

thereturnofshoesy · 09/08/2014 21:49

I do wish people would realise that when you have a child with sn, it takes up most of your life.
very few people have the time or energy to fight other battles.
I know I don't. I will call people on being disablist. but I do not have the energy to fight the battle when it comes to other"ists"
no doubt the op is the same.

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 21:57

Spot on ThereturnSmile

I have to change nappies, feed him.. I am stuck in early toddler stage with him, but a massive toddler going through puberty- no sense of danger, almost cycled on his SN trike into the Serpentine today. And now as he is entering puberty (he publicly masturbates and touches any boobs he can). 11 years of this plus the heartache and grief.

I'll let someone else worry about sexism and homophobia thanks.

I'm bloody knackered.

OP posts:
HilariousInHindsight · 09/08/2014 22:03

Normally in the inbetweeners and shows like it they would be describing a friend being slow if they couldn't keep track of the conversation or got lost or something.I was more offended by Will with the special needs children in the Thorpe park episode - we all have things that offend us .

What if someone finds idiot insulting - should it be banned from TV? How about twat? It's hard to know where to draw the line.I despise the n word, the word spastic and the c word but I can't stop others using it.

But if someone did use those words my opinions on them would drop I'm afraid.

HilariousInHindsight · 09/08/2014 22:06

It must be tough still - I hope you get family/friends help.

I completely agree it's a rude word .I just feel it's showing up those who use it therefore it isn't trying to insult disabled people .

I'm visually impaired and I have several friends with cp so I know how it is used. It's upsetting but take comfort in the knowledge that he has a caring mother who looks out for him.