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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wish that the new Inbetweeners movie didn't use the word 'retarded' twice.

201 replies

stillenacht1 · 08/08/2014 22:44

Ok okI have a pretty puerile sense of humour but I also have a severely autistic son. I went to see it today and cringed when I heard it twice. I just thought that maybe the scriptwriters could have left that out- it was totally unnecessary and added nothing to the rants of the characters.

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/08/2014 00:00

Thanks bialy.

stille - YY, I can believe that. I have acquaintances who use it, and last time I pulled them up on it I got a lecture about how it's 'acceptable in the US' (which it isn't, though I do think it's more common).

SweetSummerSweetPea · 09/08/2014 00:00

then no, I doubt very much they're aware it's as offensive as people on this thread recognize

I am really confused.

Not sure if your comments to me, were the right name.

But Yes I do expect the charities to speak out, and they do occasionally but yes they should speak out more.

Your last post is all about these writers not kwowning something is offensive...and yet you said to me its our own job to educate ourselves.

so - these guys are clueless about the word...and ....the charities are not expected to speak out....um...where do they get educated about it....

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 00:01

Ah yes the use of the word 'special'- always said in an over dramatic way.

Fucking hate that too!Wink

OP posts:
SweetSummerSweetPea · 09/08/2014 00:01

The US is far more hot on the word than here.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 09/08/2014 00:02

You did but it was a very 'meh' my real beef is the r word rather than the homophobia. Which if you are a fan of the series you would know was not unusual for them to use.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/08/2014 00:02

Fortunately he asked if anyone liked that suggestion and there was a resounding silence

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 00:02

That's great FanjoSmile

OP posts:
SweetSummerSweetPea · 09/08/2014 00:03

rpitchfo Fri 08-Aug-14 23:50:03

exactly life reflecting art and vice versa.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/08/2014 00:03

Another comedian we saw the other week said 'there's a special bus waiting outside for some of you'.

My colleagues use the R word.

I was in a department store and a bloody staff member was saying it to other one.

It's everywhere. Depressing

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/08/2014 00:04

sweet, you misread my post, I think. Not sure what you're getting at.

Yes, my post is saying people should educate themselves. Including these writers. Not hard to do, is it?

Or you could get out there instead of picking holes in charities that work hard, couldn't you?

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 00:04

It wasn't 'meh' at all. However I am talking specifically about the use of the r word.

OP posts:
Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 00:05

I agree Fanjo. Very depressingHmm My poor DS thank God he is oblivious.

OP posts:
Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 00:06

Indeed LRDSmile

OP posts:
TheBuskersDog · 09/08/2014 00:06

I don't see how the label could be used to describe your child, I don't see any connection between the two.

A common feature of autism is developmental delay (or retardation), also as the OP has said her son is severely autistic he may have a learning disability, which in the past was known as being mentally retarded.

TheAwfulDaughter · 09/08/2014 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 00:08

He has SLD- age nearly 11 in nappies still, working at the level of around 2 yo.

OP posts:
SweetSummerSweetPea · 09/08/2014 00:08

Including these writers. Not hard to do, is it?

well it seems to be hard for these writers to do...and they have not done it.

I am not picking holes in charities who do good work.

I have often thought why they are not more vocal on issues like this.

Maybe there are good reasons?

Id like to know what they are, but yes I wish the charties did more in this arena.

The whole Frankie Boyle thing, did mencap ever comment? Not sure if they did in the end., but these charities do represent people and families of those with disabilities so it would be nice if they more frequently condemned such things.

It does add weight.

bialystockandbloom · 09/08/2014 00:09

But sharon two wrongs don't make a right. As still said, she started this thread about this particular word, so this thread is about the use of the R word. Doesn't mean the OP or anyone else thinks homophobia or sexism is ok too.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/08/2014 00:10

It's not illogical at all.

Someone has to write the show. They make decisions how the characters will be.

If someone decides to write a show where the characters are gratuitously bigoted, it's perfectly fair to criticise it, and it's perfectly fair to try to explain why it's offensive by using parallels to other kinds of bigotry.

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 00:10

Theawfuldaughter

Why do they have to be disablist though?

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/08/2014 00:10

Ah, still picking holes then.

What do you do, sweet? To help? Or do you just run them down?

SweetSummerSweetPea · 09/08/2014 00:11

Or you could get out there instead of picking holes in charities that work hard, couldn't you?

A guy in a temp job kept using this word, and I asked him to stop after days of listening and explained why, he wouldn't, I called my agency to complain and my manager on site, and he was bollocked. I always pick people up on it....but I am not sure apart from writing letters what else I can do really.

Sweet from summer pea doesnt want this word used....

or Mencap Head bla says stop using this word.

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 00:13

Please keep doing that sweetSmile Encourage as many as you can to help stop the use of this word.

OP posts:
SweetSummerSweetPea · 09/08/2014 00:13

wow your really picking on me are you not!

Do you work for them LDR I am not sure why your taking my mentioning charities so personally?

Surely its a valid question when they are the mass face of families with people with disabilities!

bialystockandbloom · 09/08/2014 00:13

theawfuldaughter it's not illogical. All the OP, and those who agree with her, are saying is that the R word should have the same negative weight as those other words, because they are just as offensive, as is any word which has come to be used as a term of insult and abuse.

Hopefully one day soon this word, and others like 'special' etc, will be just as unacceptable.