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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish that the new Inbetweeners movie didn't use the word 'retarded' twice.

201 replies

stillenacht1 · 08/08/2014 22:44

Ok okI have a pretty puerile sense of humour but I also have a severely autistic son. I went to see it today and cringed when I heard it twice. I just thought that maybe the scriptwriters could have left that out- it was totally unnecessary and added nothing to the rants of the characters.

OP posts:
thereturnofshoesy · 08/08/2014 23:43

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom thanks for posting that,
it was what I was trying to say, but being old, couldn't get it right

bialystockandbloom · 08/08/2014 23:44

Oops still so you did Blush

corporate that's a bit disingenuous though isn't it. The fact is that as long as the word is used casually (ie not in the context of the word itself) it'll still keep being seen as an ok word to use in the everyday world.

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 08/08/2014 23:44

Corporate it's not just teenage boys- it's men in their twenties/thirties. Sadly a very good friend of mine used it the other day, well the equally pleasant 'fucktarded' - he was a teacher and is 35. Girls use it too, trust me.

OP posts:
thereturnofshoesy · 08/08/2014 23:44

SweetSummerSweetPea what is your agenda?

morethanpotatoprints · 08/08/2014 23:44

stillenacht1

I know how you feel it isn't nice in any shape or form to hear words you know are unacceptable.
I really hate the words I mentioned above and cringe when I hear them
I do find it sad that a word that is so apt to describe a persons disability has to be used in an offensive manner to taunt.
If anybody asks me about my learning difficulties I use the word R because at 48 and thankfully my dc seem to not suffer with the same disabilities as me, I am unfamiliar with any new labels or terms.
I don't see how the label could be used to describe your child, I don't see any connection between the two.
Is this the problem with such words then? Is it that the word is not only used to taunt but is completely the wrong word/label to describe the disability?
I am sorry you have been upset and offended, if my questions are unacceptable please ignore Thanks for you.

Bakeoffcakes · 08/08/2014 23:45

I wonder if they'd use Pk or the N word to show how stupid and immature the characters are? No I don't think they would. Why is it ok to use The R word then? It makes me really cross.

CorporateRockWhore · 08/08/2014 23:45

Ok so there are fuckwits in real life using it.

Still doesn't mean we should censor fiction, in my opinion.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 08/08/2014 23:46

Have you honestly missed people saying this is inappropriate, sweet?

Your posts sound almost as if you're assuming Mencap etc. have a responsibility to concentrate on educating people, instead of it being our responsibility to educate ourselves.

As for the Inbetweeners, I am fairly sure they just used it without thinking hard. Sadly, I think there are a lot of people out there who do just use that word as an insult. It's not that they think they're making a clever parody of people who're ignorant - it's part of their vocabulary.

bialystockandbloom · 08/08/2014 23:47

sharon I don't understand your point on this thread. No-one is allowed to speak up about something which touches a particular nerve due to personal experience unless they have also spoken up about every other bigotry/discrimination before? The thread was brought up about a particular issue - but that doens't mean the OP or anyone else here doesn't also care about other wrongs in the world.

SweetSummerSweetPea · 08/08/2014 23:48

SweetSummerSweetPea what is your agenda?

My agenda, sorry I am confused...

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 08/08/2014 23:49

The point is people seem happy to watch offensive shite and laugh along at the things that are offensive to many others but start wanting censorship when it comes to something that affects them. How about not funding such shit in the first place?

rpitchfo · 08/08/2014 23:50

The problem is the inbetweener characters do have a lot of redeeming traits. So they're not just mindless idiots. Their real life counter parts are well educated and probably discussed the merits of using such language during script writing. I think when you have well loved characters who do influence modern culture that comes with a responsibility. Yes, a lot of people grow out of it, but some won't.

SweetSummerSweetPea · 08/08/2014 23:51

Have you honestly missed people saying this is inappropriate, sweet?
i'm confused missed what saying what is in appropriate!

bialystockandbloom · 08/08/2014 23:51

Yeah right corporate so why shouldn't the Inbetweeners just casually bandy around the words p*i or n**er between each other. It's just fiction, right Hmm

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 08/08/2014 23:53

BialySmile exactly.

OP posts:
mrscumberbatch · 08/08/2014 23:53

Are they not like this generation's Kevin and Perry.

If anything people strive to not be like them and you'd get a ribbing for 'sounding like jay from inbetweeners' etc.

I think it's probably a good thing as it opens discussion, makes people feel uncomfortable/shocked and so question it in their own head.

Of course there will be those that are oblivious and use other derogatory words willy nilly but these people will always exist.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 08/08/2014 23:53

Sorry, but I really do think this is such wishful thinking, that they'd have discussed it and decided it's ok, that it's some kind artistic decision they made.

I went to university with Joe Thomas. I didn't know him well, but I did know him and unless he and his group of mates have changed a lot (and those I know better, haven't), then no, I doubt very much they're aware it's as offensive as people on this thread recognize.

A huge number of people use this word casually, as a minor insult. Plenty of them are 'educated'. MN is - despite everything - actually remarkable for the number of posters who understand about disablist language.

I'm sure if someone pulled up the writers on this, they'd come out with some glib 'oh, it's just realistic innit' excuse. But I'm equally sure that they'd think it was all a PC fuss about nothing.

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 08/08/2014 23:54

Rpitchfo I agree.

OP posts:
bialystockandbloom · 08/08/2014 23:55

sharon I agree, I don't find anything funny that is cruel or taunting to anyone, whether or not I have personal experience of that issue. I suppose I just wondered why it was relevant to bring that up here - you could go on to virtually any thread in AIBU and say the same thing tbh. It doesn't detract from or negate the OP's point.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 08/08/2014 23:56

It was in response to the OP shrugging off the point about the blatant homophobia

bialystockandbloom · 08/08/2014 23:57

I'm sure if someone pulled up the writers on this, they'd come out with some glib 'oh, it's just realistic innit' excuse. But I'm equally sure that they'd think it was all a PC fuss about nothing.

LRD great point ^

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 08/08/2014 23:58

I have a friend with a doctorate who has used it in conversation with me Hmm- she wouldn't dream of using racist terminology.

I long for the day when using this word is as abhorrent as the p or n word.

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 08/08/2014 23:59

People do say stuff like this all the time.

Went to see a comedian tonight...very funny but at end audience members had to write down a name for the show.

One wrote the 'special' show.

Hilarious.not

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 08/08/2014 23:59

Sharon I said I didn't like the blatant homophobia.

OP posts:
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 09/08/2014 00:00

I know plenty of people who still use the p or n word.