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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish that the new Inbetweeners movie didn't use the word 'retarded' twice.

201 replies

stillenacht1 · 08/08/2014 22:44

Ok okI have a pretty puerile sense of humour but I also have a severely autistic son. I went to see it today and cringed when I heard it twice. I just thought that maybe the scriptwriters could have left that out- it was totally unnecessary and added nothing to the rants of the characters.

OP posts:
Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 06:48

Yes hated obviously the 'spas' thing too. Obviously.

OP posts:
Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 07:02

I suppose it's that I am aware of the media campaigns there have been to to get rid of the R word and it clearly didn't work here. I guess I was saddened to hear it again after all of that.

But I guess as others have more eloquently put, if I watch that shit I put up with that shit.

OP posts:
MrWalletwithMothsonboard · 09/08/2014 07:15

My problem with the Inbetweeners was the blasphemy! Some would call me an idiot for being
Offended by that. We all have our Offend-o-meters at different levels and nothing would ever get made if they had to consider every word that was used. I find violence offensive and disturbing so never watch it.

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 07:15

Oh that's what I said right at the beginning of the thread about the media campaign.

OP posts:
dolphinsandwhales · 09/08/2014 07:22

Yabu, I haven't seen the film but saw the last one. They are sexist, homophobic, blasphemous and,generally offensive. It could all do with being challenged.

Fwiw I hear the local grammar school pupils using homophobic and sexist language often.

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 07:28

So I am being unreasonable for wishing they didn't use the 'r' word.

I give up. Off to look after my disabled son.

By the way I am not fighting the homophobia, sexism battles, others can and should do it, loudly and clearly. I am fighting the corner of my son and the thousands more like him who have no voice.

OP posts:
Squtternutbaush · 09/08/2014 07:34

It was well used in the series that was and still is on TV, I don't understand why you'd go see it if you had seen it before as its pretty common place for Jay and Simon to use it as an insult.

Can I just add though (this is where I get my are burnt with the flames) until I joined MN I had no idea that it was a word that shouldn't be used, it was a pretty standard word to use when/where I grew up and tbh I never thought much about the terminology it was just a word to us. My best friend has a severely autistic brother and sister yet he used it too but his mum went mental if we used the the "spastic" or "spas".

BadDog · 09/08/2014 07:36

They're stupid young men. That's the kind of thing they say. Yabu

ArmyDad · 09/08/2014 07:59

When I was growing up it was spastic, then mong and now retard. I suspect when retard goes something else will replace it.

IsChippyMintonExDirectory · 09/08/2014 08:53

I don't think a film like that 'normalises' the R word any more than other films normalise the N word, or rape, or sexism. They are works of fiction portraying how men of that age often are. Yes I'm not stupid enough to realise that something as successful as the inbetweeners isn't influential on a generation - look at the "ooh friend" craze that swept the nation at one point. But that's because it was funny and new and catchphrase-like - the odd use of a word in a movie does not have the same intention.

Anyone who sees so much as the trailer can surmise what the inbetweeners is about and choose to sit through that movie. If everything that anyone was ever offended about was removed, there would be no film. Or any films ever. As patrons we choose to watch it and if were that offended we have the power to walk out or switch off. YANBU to be upset and offended but YABU to expect a work of fiction to be altered based on what you believe is offensive.

MQv2 · 09/08/2014 09:57

It's not that you're unreasonable to wish it wasn't used, we can all be offended by whatever we choose and can feel let down when movies/actors/comedians we like do things which make us think less of them.

The only point I'd make is that you lose the moral high ground somewhat if you say your fine/enjoy sitting through them being offensive about other sensitive issues but think its too far when they turn their attention to something which is close to home for you.

While he's a far more extreme example, it reminds me of a thread on here years ago about a woman who walked out of a frankie Boyle show. She'd blogged about how she'd seen him before and enjoyed him and was essentially looking forward to seeing him free from the constraints of tv. But decided to make a big issue of when he made disablist jokes and wrote a blog about it.
Similarly there a lot of people pointed out the hypocrisy of enjoying jokes at other vulnerable people's expense but then expecting them to show tact with regards to a subject just because its one that affects them.

dawndonnaagain · 09/08/2014 10:02

I hate the retard word, I hate the spas word when used by others. The thinking and writing behind the film is to show how fucking stupid they are, all the sexism, all the homophobia, it's all to show it up for exactly how juvenile those who use it are, so whilst I understand how you feel, I think the use of all of the above in the film is fine.

BadDog · 09/08/2014 10:10

if films were all like how we would LIKE to be in rl... BORING

BadDog · 09/08/2014 10:11

btw - isnt is ' spaz' not with an s

MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 10:58

OP you need to stop being so emotional about this. I don't know if you know but a few of the posters who have replied here have disabled children too.

If you were so adamant you were being reasonable, why post? Just of our curiosity.

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 11:17

Yes I do know of posters on here with children who have a disability.

Yes I thought that most people would agree with me and make me feel a bit better about the revolting prejudice that people with SN have to put up with and that breaks the hearts of their families.

Yes I am emotional. I bloody live this day in day out.

OP posts:
Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 11:18

Morphine Dreams you need to stop being so heartless.

"You need to"

How nice.

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/08/2014 11:25

You don't need to do anything

dawndonnaagain · 09/08/2014 11:42

We live with this every day, too. Such films actually help to demonstrate the stupidity of folk that use these terms.

CoffeeTea103 · 09/08/2014 12:08

Yanbu horrible word. I think it's a long way to go before it comes as unacceptable as the N or P word. For now it's still so common, and people still find it funny. Doesn't make it right though.

Original poster
stillenacht1 · 09/08/2014 12:25

Coffeetea103 couldnt agree moreSmile

Dawn yes I do agree - they are made to look like stupid fuckers but I just wish this word hadn't been chosen by the scriptwriters. Wishful thinking I guess.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 09/08/2014 12:40

are we supposed to feel the same way about calling someone an idiot, or a moron?

or lame, or nuts?

are they all disablist??

im struggling with what on earth we can use now when we just want to use a good old fashioned insult.

MorphineDreams · 09/08/2014 12:51

The whole point is to show what educated wankers they are.

Just as a racist would be saying racist words

BadDog · 09/08/2014 13:04

yes apparently saying someone is a loon is NOT OK

( this is only in Mumsnetworld though

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 09/08/2014 13:29

It's fine to say someone is a loon, nuts, lame etc.

As long as you don't mind everyone thinking you're a narrow-minded bigot who can't think up suitable insults without resorting to likening people you don't like to people with SEN, physical disabilities or mental health.