my daughter hates her name Sophia as too common and wants to change it

[wills1939]

Hi

My daughter is five years old and wants to change her name. She hates her name because everyone is called Sophia. she has a point but I didn't call her It because was popular but because it was my grandmother's name. I understand why she hates it. There are three in her class, two In her swimming class, one newly born cousin and my my friend's dog.

She has already started telling everyone her name Is Margaret (her middle name after my other grandmother). When I told her that I loved her name etc and it suited her, she cried and told me that she was fed up of being the same as everyone else and would rather an ugly name than a pretty, boring one.

At the moment, I have refused. Am I being unreasonable? She us nit a drama queen or anything. generally she us a really good girl she us just really upset about being called Sophia. But I really loved my nan.

I don't see why she can't use her middle name for the time being.

It's a normal phase. Don't worry about it. Let her be called Margaret, Maggie, Peggie, Mara, Margie etc whatever feels good. I'm sure I made my mum call me Gillian for a few months and then Antonia for another few.

FWIW, Sophia is my all-time favourite girl's name and it is sooo beautiful and elegant that if I ever had a daughter I couldn't call her anything else, however popular it was.

A friend called Sophia used to get nicknamed Sally by her family and another one got called Poppy.

Somehow I completely missed the bit about her having a middle name and wanting to be known by it. Why not try that out for a bit? I had no middle name so my situation was slightly different.

Thank you. apart from the first response, which was a little harsh, all the others were really helpful. might give her a month to try different versions, then think about changing it not officially.

How did this name get so popular????? just deal so gutted xxxxx

Thank you. apart from the first response, which was a little harsh, all the others were really helpful. might give her a month to try different versions, then think about changing it not officially.

How did this name get so popular????? just deal so gutted xxxxx

Well, technically she isn't changing her name. She is just using a different part of it.

I would let her use her middle name and I wouldn't be bothered by it. We choose middle names for our kids with the intention that they could use them if they preferred them to their first names. We also ended up giving our kids very popular names. We lived overseas and DS1 went from being the only one in his huge school in the states to one of four in his class in the UK. Eek!

Another reason that I would not mind if a child wanted to use their middle name is because I use mine. I mostly use my first name but due to it being oong and difficult to spell I regularly use my middle name. Half my family call me one name and half the other - it doesn't ever cause a problem. It's no different from using a nickname.

Btw I know flipping loads of Sophia's. It's a beautiful name as is Magaret

I like Fi as an unusual nickname, but if she wants to be known as Margaret and you don't think it's a phase go for it, but make sure you tell school before they do all the labels and registers etc!

I hated my first and middle names. Very popular late 70's/early 80's names. There was loads of both at school. I wish I'd been allowed to change them earlier, soon as I was an adult I changed both by deed poll and it made me so happy.

Let her decide her name if she hates it so much.

It's a lovely name op.

If it's any consolation at high school they all get nicknames.

I actually didn't know my dss friends real names for years. One was named after the football club he supported!

One of my dds mates is dizzy. her real name is Katherine!!

Sorry feel so gutted xx

Just as an aside, your DD sounds very independently minded for her age, she sounds impressive to me!

My two cents here - My mum switched my name to my middle name when I started school because people kept mispronouncing my first. I got to middle school and suddenly there were 5 girls with the same name in my year and I was given "myname no.3" as a name by teaching staff. I was 11. I said bollocks to that and went back to my first name. Really glad no one protested that because it's really shitty sharing your name with a bunch of other girls in school.

I would say let her use her middle name it's still one you chose it still has meaning, she likes it, she can go back to Sophia later if she likes no harm. Speaking from personal experience I'm bloody glad my parents took no issue with it. My dads first name is Fred (hated it) so he went by Will his middle name, it's very common to do this and I think a bit of empathy goes a long way in this situation. I'd be chuffed to have a child that knows their own mind like that - as a woman it certainly gets you further in this world.

I would feel gutted too. If I'd had a daughter I'd have loved to have had a Sophia or a Sophie. She's a little young for that decision. You could alwYs suggest that if she still feels that way in a while ( up to you) she could choose Margaret or a version of it.

She's not asking to change her name though, is she? Just to be called by her middle name. Which, as I and others have pointed out, is perfectly normal. If you can't use your middle name, what's the point of having one?

Just wanted to add after reading whole thread - please don't be sad she might change her mind at some point - and Sophia really is a beautiful name (as is Margaret) it's such a pain that it is so popular especially when it is so meaningful to you xx

Sorry feel so gutted xx

I gave dd my two favourite names as her first and middle purely so she could decide either way

Her first name is a diminutive of Margaret, coincidentally, and so far she seems to love and suit it. Should she decide to be called by her MN id say "Ok Alice!"

Thanks everyone. she Is a wonderful little girl. really appreciate all the advice xx

My DD was a bit of a tomboy when she was 3, she wore Spider-man trainers, jumper and had a Spider-man lunchbox for nursery. Her dressing up box included a Spider-Man outfit and a strong man outfit. She refused to wear skirts and wanted boys t-shirts. She also wanted to be called 'diago' or something (think it's from Dora the explorer). I allowed all this pretty much and just found it an interesting and kind of cute quirk of her personality. She outgrew all this by the time she was 5 but since then has dropped the 2nd part of her name which is double barrelled. I think as a parent you choose a name but you can't choose how they feel about it. It's certainly no reason to feel guilty (Sophia Margaret is beautiful by the way). I would go along with it unofficialy and call her Margaret if it's an issue for her. It may change but whatever she decides it shouldn't really matter to anyone else

My best friend goes by her middle name. I say let her be called what she wants. If she wants to be Margaret, go along with it - she can always change back later.

Margaret is a nice name and an unusual one now for a kid.

Not sure if this will help and I haven't read the whole thread, but my daughter's name is Gabriella, when she was born, my son couldn't pronounce 'Gabriella' so he said 'Bella' and she's been 'Bella' ever since (except when she's naughty) she's 8 now and has requested not to be called 'Gabriella' so we don't. Also, as a child I hated my name, so my mother began to put 'preferred name' as my middle name which I was known as for some time. I went to school with a few people in the same situation. I don't think 5 is too young to decide wether or not you like your name and wish to be known as something else. As an aside I think Sophia is a beautiful name and not too common at all.

I don't think there's an issue; it's not as if you're going to be changing it by deed poll! I used to hate my name and have been known as all sorts-I now love it! On the other hand, I know quite a few people who still use their middle name as their first. More than likely this is just a phase.
I thought all little girls would love Sophia due to Sophia the 1st

I would go with a name change for a few weeks and see what happens. On the upside you get to use her middle name and if she likes it it's easy enough to go by your middle name day to day and just leave your first name on documentation. I know quite a few people who have done this.

And if it does all blow over no harm done.

I wouldn't let her choose a name other than those derived from her given name. She'd have to be over 18 to do that one for me!!

Don't do anything official, but do allow her go by Margaret if she likes, no worse than a nick name, and Margaret is her official name too. She can legally change it when she is legally of age to do so. Trust me, she may change her mind about her name more than once by the time she is 18!

I would let her be Margaret if that's what she wants. She may change her mind again when she's a bit older or she may not. People stating that it's just a phase or 5 yr olds don't know their own minds are missing the point that it's her name and she dislikes being called the same as lots of other girls her age.

It is a shame that she doesn't like Sophia because it is so popular but she is right about it being everywhere along with Sophie. Blame Disney with that sickly sweet Princess Sofia series.