my daughter hates her name Sophia as too common and wants to change it

[wills1939]

Hi

My daughter is five years old and wants to change her name. She hates her name because everyone is called Sophia. she has a point but I didn't call her It because was popular but because it was my grandmother's name. I understand why she hates it. There are three in her class, two In her swimming class, one newly born cousin and my my friend's dog.

She has already started telling everyone her name Is Margaret (her middle name after my other grandmother). When I told her that I loved her name etc and it suited her, she cried and told me that she was fed up of being the same as everyone else and would rather an ugly name than a pretty, boring one.

At the moment, I have refused. Am I being unreasonable? She us nit a drama queen or anything. generally she us a really good girl she us just really upset about being called Sophia. But I really loved my nan.

Oh I like Zosha! Hadn't heard that one.

I have always been called the third of my Christian names even though I prefer the first. I managed to change for a while in my 20s but it didn't work. If your dd wants to be Margaret let her, she is young enough for it to stick and there won't be many more in her peer group.
Fwiw I only know one little Sophia and two Sophies.

Wow what a badly written post! I meant my dd was 6 when she changed her name ( should be a full stop in there)

And you can try a compromise if you really feel strongly that you don't want to change it.

What about Fi? (Unless there are loads of Fiona's in her class too?)

To be honest I think she has the right to ask to be known as something else. It doesn't mean a legal name change, obvs, but she can say that she prefers to be called by another name and expect that her wish be honoured IMO.

I doubt it will last (though of course it's always a possibility). Two of my childhood friends changed their names at primary school. In both cases they reverted to their given names in high school. I am still friendly with one of them now and I only occasionally remember that she had a completely different name when we were little! (For eg her name was Samantha but we called her Lucy, that sort of thing).

I would let her use her middle name or a variation on it. Sophia will still be her name and she can always start using it again later if she wants to.

Just for the record Sophia is a lovely name.

I'd let her call her self Margaret if she wants to it's a beautiful classy name and I bet there aren't many if any Margarets in her class. Also she could in time come to be known as Peggy. In actual fact you can't actually stop her using her middle name as a know name. Everyone has the right to a name or a prefered name. Meaning a shortened version of their name, their middle name or a name they pull out the air. I know someone officially called Laura Jayne, she hates both names and she is known as Poppy.

i always hated my name , never knew another person called it , so i stuck out like a sore thumb , love it now though , my dd always wanted to change her name (not the same as mine)i think a lot of children want to change their name , most grow out of it .

Is this for real?? She's 5 years old fgs! Do you really feel like you've let her down?

DD (8) used to hate her name for the exact opposite reason. It's Irish and spelt funny therefore people generally pronounce it wrong or spell it wrong. She used to wish that she had a more conventional name. Now she's completely happy with it.

Point is that they are young and will change their mind a million times about absolutely everything.

Oh by the way dd is now 10 and still hates the original name 4 years on. I would say her older brother and I both felt a weird mini grieving for the little xx she had been. Not like losing a child or anything of course, but a reminiscence I suppose.

She is five. Cant you just say "ok darling" and call her Margaret til she either changes her mind back or decides to make it a permanent move? you have a month before school so just tackle the teachers in september if she is still preferring Margaret by then.

She's 5. Humour her until she gets bored and/or forgets.

My friend changed her name aged 5. Her original name was one that's occasionally used as a boys name and she hated it. She chose to be called by her middle name and is still using her middle name as her name now 29 years later on.

Sophia = wisdom. Lovely name. Use of the phrase 'yes dear' is called for on this.

It will indeed probably be dinosaurs in a month or so.

I have always (since I was born - it was always the plan) been called by my middle name. I had a friend who was called by his middle name at home but decided to use his first name at school - bit confusing for the rest of us, but didn't require any 'official' action. Call her Margaret for a bit and see if she/you like it!

I would try to compromise on something like Phia or Fifi as a nickname.

Would she go for Fifi or Phia? If I were you I'd try to agree on a variant of Sophia or Margaret until she's older.

I would also let her change it. She will grow out of it or she won't, does it really make that much of a difference?

I was 11 when I decided I didn't want to be called the shortened version of my name, I just didn't answer when people called me the old name. I don't remember it causing much hassle.

As a teacher I feel sorry for the students who have the same name as 2 or 3 other kids. My colleague had 4 students with the same name last year and of course they got used to it, but it took a while.

My 5 year old wants to be called Serena because it's the name of her favorite tinkerbell fairy. Your DD is going through a phase. She's 5. Don't draw loads of attention to it and she will stop.

My dd is 3.5 and now and then refers to herself as "Oscar" :)

when i was five i said i hated my name and wanted ti be known by my middle name! my mum just said is i was big enough to decide i was big enough to tell everyone. next day if i told all my friends and teacher. it stuck instantly at school and teacher family gave in as well when they realised. never regretted it, i remember younger siblings refusing to believe i had a different real name. i know someone else who did similar at around 9.

maybe just simply not forbid her but don't facilitate.

If my parents let me change my name when I was 11 I would be called Sylvia right now I don't suit a Sylvia at all.

Shocked at the number of posters who would let their 5 yr old change their name what's next? Ability to choose if they want to go to school or not, eat fruit/veg, do homework, wear makeup at 7!??!

Let her go by Margaret, My friend does that shes Lindsay Audrey but goes by Audrey because she thinks Lindsay is chavvy. Its just a name.

Maybe wait and see how long she feels this way about it - I was upset to the point of tears about my name from around that age, and invented lots of different names for myself that I insisted I got called (nobody ever did though!). Everyone said it was just a phase, but I never really felt comfortable with the name even as I grew older. I was 24 when I changed it by deed poll but I do wish I had been heard at a younger age.