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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to be a guarantor to a loan that DW's friend and husband want to take out.

271 replies

BreakingDad77 · 07/08/2014 12:11

I am aware they are not good with money (Im not amazing but are not anywhere near CCJ/default) and already have court collections on money they own. They need this to bridge the time till the DW friend goes back to work after maternity leave, supposedly they are short for rent and need 5-6k.

DW says we not at risk but I have told her that I believe that say they default then they would come after us and because we wouldn't be able to manage that extra then it would get put on our house.

I dont like the idea of money between friends like this.

OP posts:
writtenguarantee · 08/08/2014 14:26

If you know and trust them, go ahead. Sounds like you don't though. There are some friends I would lend 10K to and others I wouldn't lend 100 pounds to judging by my internal credit rating. It sounds like you don't know these people well enough to do it, and what you do know isn't helping their case!

I say run.

Flipflops7 · 08/08/2014 14:33

Just tell her it's not going to happen. You are better with money so your view must prevail. My DH is crap with money so he has to defer to my decisions. It would be certifiably crazy to do it. Just tell her to tell them you haven't got the money.

FatherReboolaConundrum · 08/08/2014 14:49

It sounds like an absolutely classic con trick - I'll give you a small amount of money upfront, proving that I can be trusted and I'm not totally skint; because this makes me seem on the level, you then hand over (or guarantee a loan for) a very large amount of money.

I think this was the con used by Sawyer in Lost worried that I still remember so much about it.

pinkyredrose · 08/08/2014 16:28

They would definitely take the money and run. Make sure you get the post every morning, just worried that your wife might sign something behind your back as she seems a soft touch.

5Foot5 · 08/08/2014 16:36

It difficult as we do have rows every so often about money as DW is bad, not CCJ bad, but ran up lots of fees (grr capital one) on a credit card

The people on here suggesting a con may be on to something. It sounds like your wife might not be very financially savvy and if these "friends" have picked up on that they may have deliberately targetted her for that reason.

Jux · 08/08/2014 16:53

It could be a con. Personally, I would simply reiterate that if they were straightforward they would be using people who know them well as guarantors, not relative strangers.

MardyBra · 08/08/2014 17:03

Have just RTFT and actually I'm losing patience with the OP as well as his Dw. It's a no brainer and tbh you shouldn't even have to ask the MN collective about this one. In the words of Zammo, just say no.

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 08/08/2014 17:04

And look what happened to Zammo when he didn't take his own advice!

notmyproblem · 08/08/2014 17:31

OP make sure your wife doesn't have access to 5k+ without your say-so because she sounds like in the right moment of brainwashing weak-will she could very well give them a load of cash and drive them to the bank to do it.

cavkc · 08/08/2014 18:10

I think you need to be mindful of the fact that if your DH feels so strongly about it she could be a guarantor without your agreement!

As everyone one has said DO NOT DO IT

This may sound mean but if after all this advice the OP has been given if he still goes ahead I'm afraid they deserve what they get

Topseyt · 08/08/2014 18:13

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Do not even consider it. The only thing you are likely to be guaranteeing is financial trouble for yourself in future.

Guarantors are legally liable for the loan/rent that they guarantee, as others have already said. There is no financial or other benefit to being a guarantor, only risk and you ABSOLUTELY ARE exposed.

I am a landlady and we own four properties which we rent out. I do prefer some tenants (most, actually) to have guarantors, but it is an additional security net for me in case of them defaulting. Mostly those guarantors have been parents offering support to their newly independent sons or daughters.

We have a 19 year old student daughter who has just completed her first year at university and will be moving from hall of residence into private rented accommodation next year. She needed us to stand as guarantors in order that she could actually have somewhere to live next year (not possible to commute from home, too far away) and at her age there is little or no credit history. We have done that through necessity for her, but she is our own daughter, our flesh and blood and also a very conscientious and responsible young lady. She feels very guilty if she ever does have to ask us for help as she wants to be independent. She has managed her finances as well as can be expected so far and we know that she would bend over backwards to make things work. We are also well aware from our own rental business of what the role of a guarantor is, and the drawbacks.

These friends of your wife's seem to be little more than casual acquaintances not known to you for long, but known to have a poor record with money.

Don't do it!!

Alisvolatpropiis · 08/08/2014 18:18

Like everybody else on the thread - no, absolutely not. Ridiculous idea. Your wife is terrifyingly naive about financial matters as well.

BMW6 · 08/08/2014 18:23

OP - you will just have to bite the bullet on this and tell your DW it is absolutely out of the question. End of the discussion.

Chiana · 08/08/2014 19:05

If they want to give some of the lent money to OP and his wife, why not simply borrow a smaller sum than 5K? It makes no sense whatsoever.

OP, it sounds very much like your wife is being targeted by scam artists. I’m sure she’s a lovely person, but she sounds financially naïve and ripe for exploitation. Is there any way she could act as their guarantor herself, without your signature being needed? I’m not a solicitor nor a banker so I don’t know (although it sounds unlikely, if you primarily have joint assets). But a healthy level of paranoia would be appropriate in this situation. I would call your bank and explain your wife is potentially being targeted by con artists. I’m sure they run into this sort of thing from time to time, and will have suggestions. Please sit your wife down and say it is not going to happen, no way, no how, for so many many reasons others have articulated. Show her this thread.

Bearbehind · 08/08/2014 19:13

I would call your bank and explain your wife is potentially being targeted by con artists. I’m sure they run into this sort of thing from time to time, and will have suggestions.

Really- you'd tell you bank you wife is financially naive and irresponsible...?

Not the best idea. Hmm

I still can't help thinking there is more to this story than meets the eye.

Every single person on here has said it is a really bad idea yet the OP hasn't outright said no.

If it is for real then I'm pretty sure it's a scam and the couple will be off the second the cash hits their account if it goes ahead.

Chiana · 08/08/2014 19:40

I wasn't suggesting that he should say she was naive and irresponsible, just that she was being targeted by scammers. However, I take your point that it might backfire. Anybody on this thread work (or worked, past tense) at a bank? Would you want to hear about the OP's situation or not?

I think the OP really needs to put his foot down for once and for all. And ensure his DW can't act as a guarantor on her own, using their joint assets to guarantee the loan.

Chunderella · 08/08/2014 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HamAlive · 08/08/2014 19:52

.

HamAlive · 08/08/2014 19:53

Sorry, didn't mean to post. Crappy slow tablet thinking I'd pressed reply not next page.

StrangeGlue · 08/08/2014 19:53

They have no intention of paying it. That's why they are already coming up with terrible ideas like giving you a little money here and there. That's to make them feel like they're paying you back while the lender screws you for £6k plus interest.

No no no no no

londonrach · 08/08/2014 19:54

Why would you do it.... Run now...

Lariflete · 08/08/2014 20:03

Hi Chiana I worked for a bank until about a year ago. We would appreciate being given a heads up, because we would then know to look out for the wife and potentially the scammers. Although, having said that, it sounds like they will be trying to use 'alternative' financing as I've never come across guarantors for personal loans. I worked there for 10 years and they had stopped taking them by then. Guarantors tended to be used for business lending on limited companies and companies where the directors were separate legal entities.
That may have changed of course. I would suggest the OP gets some real advice as quickly as possible.

GrossMeister · 08/08/2014 20:04

No fecking way!

I am actually quite concerned. It sounds like she would consider doing it on the quiet.

As PP said it could end up being closer to 10k and that can put you AND YOUR CHILDREN in the shit big time, why does your DW care more about friends than her family?!

Chiana · 08/08/2014 20:15

That's what I thought, Lariflete. I know when my granny was targeted by scammers, her bank was extremely helpful.

I agree, OP needs some real advice pronto.

Bearbehind · 08/08/2014 20:17

Ah, I see what you meant chiana but like larifiete said, the chances of these scumbags trying to secure the loan with the same financial institution as the OP banks with are slim to none and alerting their bank to financial ineptitude is not advisable.

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