to not want to be a guarantor to a loan that DW's friend and husband want to take out.

[BreakingDad77]

I am aware they are not good with money (Im not amazing but are not anywhere near CCJ/default) and already have court collections on money they own. They need this to bridge the time till the DW friend goes back to work after maternity leave, supposedly they are short for rent and need 5-6k.

DW says we not at risk but I have told her that I believe that say they default then they would come after us and because we wouldn't be able to manage that extra then it would get put on our house.

I dont like the idea of money between friends like this.

noooooooo! if the bank doesn't think they are a good enough risk to lend money to why the hell would you step in and guarantee the loan for them? Never in a million years!

Think it's a non from mumsnet then!

A very close relative asked me for 5k they saw us both working in well paid roles, having children at private school and thought we were loaded. The money comes and goes out. We have a fair amount of equity in our only house - maybe she wanted us to withdraw one from school or sell the house to fund it? Anyway she didn't speak to us for a number of months.

Another one says no. But if you are so concerned about not wanting them out on the street, you could give them the money, it sounds like it would be a lot cheaper in the long run.

Im owed several thousands from family members who promised faithfully they would pay back the loan....

Over 20 years later, I have not seen a penny. Not a single penny.

KingJoffrey, good question! off the top of my head i'd say a few clear signs of being in unmanageable debt are:

• borrowing regularly for essential living costs such as rent, heating, food etc
• ALWAYS having some spare month at the end of the money
• only able to afford the minimum repayments on credit cards
• borrowing to repay another debt

unfortunately, most of these are things that only the person involved can spot. it can be incredibly difficult to spot if someone else is struggling, as its easy to cover it up and live in denial until it gets to breaking point. hth

Wow, pretty unusual to have a unanimous response on mumsnet.

don't do it, especially as she only knows them through toddler group.

I lent about 1500 to a close friend a few years ago, or rather I paid off her most pressing debts with it when she split from her abusive partner and was in deep shit, she promised to pay it back in amounts she could manage when she had stabilised her finances and got back on an even keel. she got back with mr abusive, we grew apart due to his behaviour and I never saw the money again. since then she has had another child and bought chickens and some other exotic pets

another time I ordered something fairly expensive for someone from a catalogue, on the basis I thought we were good friends and the fact she paid me £80 straight up towards it and promised 20 a week once it arrived till it was paid off. after it arrived she made another payment of 20 but then very suddenly moved to another house 3hrs away, suffice to say I never saw another payment and I spent 310quid paying off her debt

I for one would never ever lend again, to anyone.

DONT DO IT DONT DO IT DONT DO IT!
They sound flakey as anything, if they've already got court judgements against them you can pretty much kiss bye bye to your money.
A few generations back my great great grandfather came within a whisker of loosing our family farm after acting as a guarantor of a supposed friend.
He managed to secure finance to keep hold of it but unbelievably it was only my father who finally finished clearing the loans so we now own it debt free again.
DONT DO IT!

In my experience, mixing financial matters with friends or family always leads to at best an uncomfortable situation and at worst a huge falling out.

Don't do it if you want to remain friends. I also think it's quite a big ask of friends. Do they not have family they can turn to? If they honestly cannot raise this money off their own backs/credit rating, I would have concerns.

No way.

Your DW won't be seeing them on the street, their own financial mismanagement will do that. Don't get dragged into their mess.

Trust me - lenders can and do go after guarantors (I've done it in a professional capacity). If they default, then are you sure it won't be you on the street?

True friends wouldn't be asking this of you and certainly wouldn't minimise the risk.

Run very very fast in the opposite direction.

All aboard the Nope Train to Fuckthatville.

The real question is. If they defaulted, are they a good enough friend to cover their ass?

I can't think of any friends worth paying 5-6k for.

Don't! Not only will you lose the money, you risk your and their financial profiles/credit ratings being linked, which will make it difficult for you to get a new mortgage, credit card etc.

Also, as others have said, it WILL sour your relationship. Really, really don't.

Don't do it. They have bad credit for a reason.

All aboard the Nope Train to Fuckthatville.

Phrase of the day. Unfortunate I'm in work really...

It would be completely barking insane to agree to this. If you have £6000 spare and like these people enough to give it to them (clearly the answer to that would be "no") then give it to them as a free gift. If not then don't get involved at all.

The only circumstances under which loan guarantorship is a sensible choice is among family, and EITHER the borrower has a good income but is too young to have a credit score of their own, OR the borrower has unreliable income but the guarantor is close enough to them that they would freely choose to support the borrower if their income failed even without the guarantorship agreement. Neither of these is the case.

Even when this person goes back to work, their income will only just cover their living costs. There is no way this loan would be paid back, which is precisely why the banks will only make the loan with a guarantor, because they are not thick.

All aboard the Nope Train to FuckThatville

Don't you just love MN.

If they are struggling now, how would they pay it back?

They won't, is possibly the answer.

They saw your wife coming didn't they! Is she soft hearted and kind?

This is an absolute no.

Yes I was wondering what was going to happen magically in 5/6 months which would enable them to pay you back and keep paying their bills?

We were in a similar situation in the recession in 2006 and I got a job, worked weekend nightshifts in a call centre to pay the bills.

Well it kinda got worse when i got back home and chatted to DW as she started saying things like they would give us a bit of the money, and that it would go in DW account - and I was like NO NO NO - reiterated how it put us at risk, almost lost my rag.

It difficult as we do have rows every so often about money as DW is bad, not CCJ bad, but ran up lots of fees (grr capital one) on a credit card which she could of paid off but kept missing payment/cancelled min balance payment and doesn't keep to budgets I thought we had agreed I do earn more than her but have split bills so we have same amount of money left.

Just show her this thread. Please.

Show her the thread. There's not one person on here who thinks it's a good idea.

Why on earth would they give your wife money that they have to repay???

It sounds as though they intend to default.

It's worrying your wife thought this was reasonable.

I'd stay away from them and try to encourage your wife to distance herself too.

You need to explain in simple terms that a 6k loan, and assuming they get a rubbish interest rate (which they will) could end up costing you over 10k.

If you are the higher earner, is she asking you to go guarantor? Would she be able to do it alone if you didn't agree? I hope with her bad financial sense she wouldn't be suitable, that way at least she couldn't endanger your security behind your back.

Show her the thread. She needs to realise that one way to guarantee losing a friend is to lend them money.