to refer to my step grandchild, as my grandchild?

[Flexibilityisquay]

I have two step grandchildren. I am finding every time I refer to them it is such a mouthful. I am wondering therefore whether people think it would be OK to just refer to them as my grandchildren?

I don't know if I am over thinking it. I know that referring to step children as your children is not on. I have never, and would never do this as they already have a perfectly good Mum. I am wondering though if it is such an issue in relation to the next generation, as it is perfectly possible to have several grandparents, and it is not trying to take over someone else 's place in the same way, if that makes sense? I'd be interested to know what anyone else thinks?

[mixety]

This thread has made me excited for being a (step)grandma one day! Lovely that even though I don't have my own children, I might still be able to be a grandmother to any children DSS has. I had never thought about it before...

[museumum]

Dh's step dad calls them "the grandkids" rather than "my grandkids". The kids use his name, as does Dh. But then Dh was already over 18 when he married his mum.

[NataliaOsipova]

I think it totally depends on the relationship you have with the parents - probably safest to ask them, to be honest. Personally, I wouldn't like it if my father's wife referred to my DCs as "her" grandchildren, but then she rarely seems them, so the relationship isn't there. Your case sounds very different, so it's probably fine. If you are worried, referring to "the" grandchildren (rather than "my", if you see what I mean) dodges the bullet for the time being....

[Mouseinahole]

I have 9 grandchildren 6 of whom are the dc of my stepdc. I love them all dearly and they have a special 'gran' name for me. My dh is Grandad to all 9. It is a privilege to be their grandparent.

[trafalgargal]

I'm technically a step grandmother however it wouldn't occur to me that the kids should call me grandma . Had I being around from when the parents were small themselves it might be different but they are my husband's kids and his ex wife's kids and she is very much involved with their lives so the title is hers alone. Doesn't mean I don't care about them that they call me by my first name but I do believe personally grandparents are only the people who parented the parents regardless of blood tie. No one else should expect the title.

[NotLostJustSomewhereSafe]

I think it's really special that mine and DH's step parents have chosen to call our children their grandchildren. We may not have always seen eye to eye but the fact that they have taken on a grandparent role and love my children is something that I love them for.

[Cantusethatname]

I love my stepfather and so do my boys, but I loved my dad on a whole different level. I would feel a bit disloyal if the boys called my stepfather grandad, because they had a grandad who wanted so much to stay with them. It's probably a personal thing and every family and set of circumstances is different. I think you sound lovely.

[CottonSock]

Not rtt but i had a step grannie and she was just my grannie, as i child i didn't care about the step..

[SoupDragon]

THIS THREAD IS FROM 2014

[isittimeforcoffee]

I actually think that's really lovely. My 'real' grandad died before I was born, but my dad's stepdad treated him like his own son from the moment he met him, even though he had other children. When we were born, he was as proud of us being his grandkids as he would have been if we were related by blood. We always called him grandad, and when I talk about him to my own kids, we call him great-grandad.

[PrincessOG16]

Ask the mum or dad if they would be happy with this.

My partners fathers 'step mum' bitch face called my DD 'granddaughter' and I just told her straight, "she's nothing to do with you - don't call her that again"

But tbh she's an alcoholic waste of space thief.

[xinchao]

YANBU at all. I would be quite sad if my step parents referred to my DS as 'step'

[KayTee87]

Just ask the parents. My step father is my sons 'papa' I would think it silly to add 'step' in front of it.

[KayTee87]

Ffs there's no zombie thread warning on the app

[Linning]

I think it's perfectly fine!

My grandparents divorced when I was young but didn't remarry until years later. I personally call both of my grandparent's partners by their first name (as I was a teen when they came in the pictures) but my siblings and cousins who were much younger then have always called my "step-grandmother" as grandma. The only one they call by their first name is my grandma's partner but it's only because my grandma has always refused to let my siblings or cousins call him grandpa. They are both entire part of the family though and definitely grandparents figures for us all.

I know my granfather's wife refer to us all as our grandchildren and I have absolutely no problem with that.

To be fair, my stepfather who's raised me since I was 4 and up till I was 16 refers to me as his daughter and I still call him my dad and see him on a regular basis even though he isn't with my mother anymore. When the times come for me to have children, he'll definitely be refered to as their grandfather.

I think if you love your step-grandchildren as much as you love your own then it's totally fine to call them your grandchildren. I actually like the fact that my "step grandma" calls me her grand daughter as it's proof she considers us as much her grandchildren as her biological one. I think we would all be quite hurt if in our hearts we consider her our grandma but find out she only sees us as "steps" as it feels a bit like "less than" tbh, but that's just me.

[Youarenotprepared]

I have a step mum who is nanna and a step dad who is grandad. They are every bit as much a grandparent as the others are.

[imnervous]

My eldest calls my fil grandad and he is very much treated like one of the grandchildren.

[princessjonsie67]

My mum has 6 grandchildren. 5 are "step garandchildren and one "true " grandchild. They are all treated the same. The all call her nanny or grandma. she is also the great grandma to two who are technically her step great grandchild. My granddad was in reality my step granddad but he was the only granddad I ever knew so he was my granddad plain and simple. The "true" grandchild is spoilt a bit more but not cause he is genetically the only grandchild but cause he is the baby of the family and everyone spoils him and indulges him a little more. Its not blood its how they are treated that counts. When my son has a child my husband (my sons stepdad) will be granddad plain and simple

[Dogsandbabies]

I was very touched when my step mother referred to my daughter as her grandchild. My daughter adores her! Ask the parents in case they don't like it (ie. they are weird - I can't think of a good reason otherwise..) and go for it.

[rollonthesummer]

Can't you just refer to them as 'Dave's grandchildren' if the problem is it's too much of a mouthful?

[purplishclouds]

Considering the OP asked this question 2 years ago , she must have established by now , what to call her " step" grand children .
You should start a new thread if you want to discuss your own issues nannie1234

[CozyAutumn]

My dad's DW calls my children her Grandchildren. She came in to my life when I was 18 so never really referred to her as my stepmum. She's like a really good friend to me instead. My children call her Nanna(name). She's been in their life since they were born, so it's a role that has happened naturally just like a "bio" grandparent.
It's not like she met my dad and I already had children. I can see why that would be a bit different but even so, over time a grandparent/grandchild relationship may still have developed.

[selsigfach]

My MIL started seeing her (creepy) boyfriend, 'Dave', when my husband was about 30. Dave was still living with his wife but, according to MIL, it was just for the kids and they weren't together anymore. Right. I doubt MIL is on mumsnet. Fast-forward 5 years, we got a 'congratulations on your new baby" card from 'Nanny and Grandad'. We said no, he's not Grandad, he's Dave. This man is in no way a father figure to my husband so we don't see him in a grandfather role to our child.

[JellyBelli]

I wouldnt use the term 'step' more than once, in the original conversation to describe the actual relationship between family members.
Once itsknown (if thats even necessary) it seems silly to use it. Its like you need to make a distinction between step and blood relatives every time.
I have a few adopted relatives and I'm not even sure whio they all are