to refer to my step grandchild, as my grandchild?

[Flexibilityisquay]

I have two step grandchildren. I am finding every time I refer to them it is such a mouthful. I am wondering therefore whether people think it would be OK to just refer to them as my grandchildren?

I don't know if I am over thinking it. I know that referring to step children as your children is not on. I have never, and would never do this as they already have a perfectly good Mum. I am wondering though if it is such an issue in relation to the next generation, as it is perfectly possible to have several grandparents, and it is not trying to take over someone else 's place in the same way, if that makes sense? I'd be interested to know what anyone else thinks?

If you have a loving relationship, dropping the 'step' would seem natural.

I have a stepmother who I'd never call mum, but we gave her a grandmother name (a variant of her name) for my DD to refer to her as, and stepmother calls DD her grandchild. My stepmother loves her and is good to her so I saw nothing wrong with it.

I think it's very different with grandparents than with parents. Grandparents are always multiple. You expect two of each (even if they're not all with you any longer the position still exists). And it's not as close a relationship (generally). So dropping the step and having additional ones doesn't have the emotional impact of doing so with a parent. It doesn't feel like a displacement in the way it does for parents.

Oh the dds call my step dad a variation of grandad

I had a terrible relationship with both my step parents.

Now there are grandchildren on the scene, everyone's referred to as Grandad and Nanny, with no problems and no resentment. It strikes me it's just more people to love my children.

Our DC call DHs step grandmother by her first name. DH and his siblings were teenagers when their grandfather remarried, so she's never been called nan by them. She has never encouraged or asked them to call her any thing differently.

I do with both of mine.. despite never seeing one and rarely the other. Step in the front is to much of a mouthful.

They just have extra grandparents- win/win all the way around. It is a mouthful that I wouldn't bother with, unless it came up in conversation with someone when you needed to explain.

When I got together with my dp, my ds was 2.
I can't remember exactly how it happened but he began calling them " Nanny and grandad" and they've always referred to him as their grandson and have sent cards for Xmas/birthdays etc signed as such.
I'm glad because we now have dd together who is 3.5 and it would be very confusing for her if he called them something else.

It's a lovely thing to do by the way imo :)

My children call their step grandmother by her Christian name

They have known her since they were 6, 3 and 2

But they also my husbands dad by his name as well and he is actually their grandfather

I had a step-grandmother. She was a much disliked 'replacement' for a wonderful Nanny after a horrible divorce, and younger then her new step-children. Not sure whether she ever called me her grandchild. Seems unlikely. I was about five when she rocked up. It wouldn't have worked for me at that age, and under those circumstances.

Sorry

To answer the question I don't think I would mind, I don't think of her as being my stepmother she is always my dad's wife

We just had extras and they all treated all the children the same regardless of which ones were 'blood'. It must be very decisive in a family if the grandparents differentiate between the children.

divisive not decisive!

My stepdad is currently rocking my 4 week old to sleep with a very drippy look across his face .

He is a proud grandfather despite not being a blood relation. I wouldnt dream of refering to him by his first name as DD grows up although I still call him that. He will be granddaddy X.

We called my father's stepmother Gran (all one word, like Grankatie except that it wasn't Katie) and I am sure she referred to us all as her grandchildren. Granted, she was the only paternal grandmother we ever knew, since my father's mother died when he was a teenager (and his father later remarried), but I don't see any issue in the OP referring to them as grandchildren. I know plenty of children who have "extra" grandparents and have no issue with it at all.

DH has always called his step-dad by his Christian name, (let's say, Frank), so the DDs call him Grandpa Frank, whereas my dad is just 'Grandad'.

DH also has a step-grandad, who was always just his grandad.

We have always referred to Frank as DH's step-dad, it is only recently (they are now 5 & 6) that they have asked what a step-dad is. Slightly different scenario though as DH dad is dead, so there have never been two paternal grandfathers on the scene (iyswim).

I have a step-mum and DH has a step-dad, and we've both always referred to them as dad's wife and mum's husband, respectively (great relationships on both sides; they've just never been 'step-mum' or 'step-dad'). As far as DS is concerned they're both grandparents just like our actual parents are - he has three granddads and three nannys. I'm fairly sure they refer to him as their grandchild. I think it's lovely that he had such a good relationship with them, and would never dream of insisting on 'step' being used as a preface.

I had a step grandad he married my grandma/just before I was born he was lovely and I loved him to bits I still have vivid memories of him singing to me as we walked up the road! To all intents and purposes he was my grandad even fifteen years after he died I still miss him I called him grandad he had his own grandchildren and him and my grandma used to refer to us all as grandchildren my sons also have a stepgrandad they call he m grandad tom they don't see dh dad and there step grandad has been far more of a grandad to him is than dh dad not even sure he knows he's got grandchildren!

We ha

We have 4 stepgrandc

Bloody phone! We treat our 4 stepgc same as others and to them we are Nanny and Grampy

Are the children a permanent part of your family? If so, I think it's fine to call them grandchildren, and for them to call you grandma/pa.

If they are new to the family or if the parents have just started dating, I would hold off getting too familiar just yet.

I forgot to say my mums dad died when she was a child so we didn't have three grandads as such and my step grandad first wife had also died .

Depends on when you came into their life also I think I would be nice for them that you just think of them of grandchild not step grandchild

We have 6 DC's one of which is DH's eldest daughter . We count them all the same. DH's ex wife has had two more husbands since, so not only does DSD have the original parents GP's , she also has ex wife's DH's parents , and my parents as well , both of whom treat all the DC's as exactly the same and the word step is never mentioned . Having any kind of family only party requires a lot of room !