To wonder when my kids won't mind seeing me or each other naked

[pingufan]

I have a DS nearly 14 and DD 11. I still wander around with no clothes on after showering / changing and they don't seem to bat an eyelid as we've never discouraged nudity or ever made a fuss about it. They will walk in while im on the loo, in the bath etc too! On a recent holiday when the kids shared a room it struck me that maybe I should be covering up myself and ensuring they cover up around each other too?

There doesn't seem to be any embarrassment with either of them as they are happy to be naked around us and each other but my son Is starting to develop etc, daughter not yet.

I don't want to make a big deal over things but my nan thinks it's wrong that they wander around naked around each other and me and hubby, she thinks it's putting temptation in my sons way!!! The thought hadn't crossed my mind!

Anyone with older children, do they eventually become more private themselves or should I be encouraging them to cover up?

Morphine - that is a bit sicky.

How about this one: I am currently heavily pregnant and in this heat have slept naked. My 5 year old DS is always first up in the house and usually trots into our room and gets in bed with me an DH at around 6.00, followed by 9 year old DS by 7am ish and 10year old DD sometime after that.

Through all of this I've no clothes on because I am boiling and uncomfortably pregnant at the moment.

Is this terrible? Should I not allow my children to get into bed with us in the morning as they always have?

I don't think there's anything wrong with your example at all

I have four older children..aged 17 -22.
We have never flaunted nudity but neither do we do the mad dash for a cover up... I'll run for the loo in the night and all of mine will streak to the bathroom, no one notices or cares. Two of mine are more private..I respect that , and two are natural streakers (cue 22 yr old DD1 showing DS2 17 her new nipple piercing this week !) None of them seem bothered i any way whatsoever.

They all became much more private during puberty, and then less bothered once they had their adult bodies(except DD1 who is now a 5th year medical student and has always viewed bodies as just that... fascinating lumps of bones and flesh!)

They definitely don't see us (parents) as sexual bodies.. we are just Mum and Dad and some of their most important conversations have happened while I'm in the bath!

(However I did object when DS1 came in while I was soaking, to ask for a lift and his mate followed him in!!!!!! )

Personally, I wouldn't be naked around my children past the age of me giving them baths and checking in on them (so... age 7 or 8?). It would just feel weird to me.

Yes, it's just nudity, but at the same time just do what you feel comfortable with. If some people don't like being naked around their babies, that's just as ok as some people that do like being naked around their adult children. There shouldn't be judgement either way so long as everything is platonic and appropriate behavior.

As for the 14 year old being tempted... She does know that contrary to popular belief, our penis wielding friends do have self control and aversion to incest.

Someone asked about the level of nudity in our family....it's just whilst showering, dressing, bathing etc. The kids won't think anything of stripping off on the landing or walking in on each other and us whilst in the bath / toilet or shower. We never wander around naked unless it's a mad dash through the house to retrieve a clothing item from somewhere.

I just wondered if teens eventually stop feeling comfortable about seeing each other and us. I wondered if they stop it themselves or at some point should i say 'ok it's time you started closing your bedroom door' / put a lock on the bathroom door etc

This teenager parenting is different to toddler parenting!

As everyone says, each to their own and every family is different. Personally, I have never done the talk to me when I'm in the bath thing and the Dcs wanting to come in and chat to me when I'm on the loo is, to me, disrespectful and downright weird.
Some of you seem to have no privacy at all, but hey ho. If you're cool with it, fine. I just need time in my life that they can't have and baths,personal hygiene etc are one of those times.

I grew up in a lovely family where clothing was optional - we only wore what we chose to keep warm or to go out. There was nothing strange about seeing my parents or brothers and sister naked.
We did close the toilet door when using it though.

In this recent hot weather it's been great not to be wearing clothes in the house or garden. Since I work at home I've gone for days without wearing a stitch, and DP does the same when he's at home.

I still find it very strange to read threads on here about women not being able to show their breasts in public, or complaining about a man being naked in his own house. What on earth is so wrong with seeing your skin? We all have it.

PinguFan
I think the level of nudity your kids are happy with is about the same as how things were in my home when I was growing up. It was no big deal either way. We weren't making a point about being comfortable being naked, it was more that we forgot to get towels or fancied a bit of nuddy sunbathing in the garden.

I don't think that there is necesscerily a benefit either way. Just because your family covers up doesn't mean you are all uptight or prudish. It just mean you like to cover up! I suspect coving up is the most common situation.

I really wouldn't like my Teen DC to come into the bathroom when I'm on the toilet though. In fact I would hate it. A quick pee when the teen girls are there would be ok but the boys or the girls coming in when I was pooing would be awful. I know it's a 'normal' bodily function and I shouldn't be ashamed of it it but I don't want to 'share' that experience with anyone.

It's interesting that people differentiate between nudity and going to the toilet? If one is natural and nothing to be ashamed of then surely the other is?

It's interesting that people differentiate between nudity and going to the toilet?
I think it's simply that when using the toilet you are doing something potentially unpleasant or smelly and it's a favour to others to close it off. That's how I see it anyway.

Hi Steve the problem with these chats is that without putting names in all the time it's hard identify who people are talking to.

My first post of the two was in direct answer to you, the second "prudes" one was in answer to a post under yours using the word "inappropriate" to describe nudity and, to be honest, to the more rabid of the "fully clothed" brigade in general.

But also, yes - I do find it prudish.

I have no problems with nudity whether at home, in changing rooms etc.

I don't mind if people want to sunbathe topless on the beach.

I don't walk around naked for the sake of it, but I don't see the point in putting boxers on to walk to the shower from my bedroom. I think people have the idea that I'm talking about doing the naked can-can in front of my kids FGS.

I honestly think that a lot of youngsters problems wouldn't even crop up if people weren't ashamed of their bodies. If the only naked people you see are the Gods & Goddesses that the Media tell us are how we should all look, then it's no worry that so many kids have "body image" issues.

If they can see that mum & dad who are (hopefully) respectable & functioning adults, have saggy bits & wobbly bits & the bikini line is anywhere between armpits & knees and that mum & dad aren't bothered by it - then I think it can only be for the good.

Seriously???? Get a bloody grip those of you talking about incest and sexual abuse within families that feel comfortable around each other!!

I am a size 26 and have a 14 yr old DS, 8 yr old dd & 1 yr old dd.

I sleep in bed baked an walk to the loo naked and often do the ironing naked, so does my husband. My DS covers up but is not at all embarrassed by seeing us naked, hopefully my kids realise that body image that is spouted by the media is nonsense and that every one should be comfortable within their skin and it's what's inside a person that counts!!

What ignorant attitudes on this thread

I am quite sure the op's children are not stripping off in public they understand boundaries

demented how is it disrespectful for my children to come in when I am having a bath?

If I am ok with it and they are who am I disrespecting?

If I want peace then I tell them to leave. It isn't every time I am in the bath, not even half of the time. Who am I disrespecting?

I don't see what is disrespectful about my children coming into the bathroom when I am in there.

And they get boundaries, we are currently away visiting relatives, the boys have all showered and dressed in private and not gone in the bathroom when anyone else is in there. Today ds4 needed the toilet whilst I was in the shower, he knocked and asked and waited for me to get out the shower.

They know the rules are different in different situations. At home we are simply more relaxed about nudity, in other situations you cover up.

The only exception to this has Bern the three yr old who has shared a bath with her two yr old cousin, again perfectly normal.

I am quite sure the op's children are not stripping off in public they understand boundaries
I don't understand "boundaries". What does it mean please?

I think that people being naked at home with their immediate family does not;

• encourage incest
• make them vulnerable to sexual abuse from outside the family
• give them no sense of boundaries outside the home.

As has often been said, families have different approaches to nudity, right from when babies arrive. I know people who would not be naked in front of their 3 year old son and insist he shuts the door when going to the toilet.

Children need to be told that at this age, it is appropriate to cover up at school or in social situations. I am sure they have been told this. The fact they are happy to be naked at home does not mean they are parading around starkers elsewhere.

Yes, to the idea that children often set the pace for when it might be time to curtail naked wanderings at home. They often do become a bit awkward. I guess MOST will be a bit awkward by 14, so the OPs scenario may be a little unusual, but is not wrong.

I suppose the Q is, whether there HAS to be a point where parents curtail nudity in the home. What about if they reach 16 or 18 and are trill doing it? I still don't think it is a sign of anything sexual or of any danger at all, but I do wonder if there is a point where a gentle curtailing is a good idea, esp whe there are siblings of opposit sex (and this is not because of anything g sexual, but just modesty). However, perhaps it never needs to happen if everyone is happy. However, I suspect this is rare.

Wombat,
I was naked at home until I went off to uni. So were my siblings.

Social/personal boundaries

We grow up learning boundaries and conform to social norms one being in most countries is that we keep our clothes on in public I am sure the op's children understand this along with other boundaries but those are different at home and different cultures

If they can see that mum & dad who are (hopefully) respectable & functioning adults, have saggy bits & wobbly bits & the bikini line is anywhere between armpits & knees and that mum & dad aren't bothered by it - then I think it can only be for the good

What utter nonsense. Of course the minute I put clothes on I instantly drop 4 dress sizes. You can do what you want but please don't delude your self it's educational.

watching I see you've explained your references to "prudes" as a defence against the "rabid fully dressed brigade" . How charming as if wearing clothes is not the norm.

I think your kids will naturally start becoming a bit more private. Nudity doesn't equal sexuality. It's like the whole breastfeeding issue where people get upset when they see a baby being fed from a boob as they have become sexualised.

Your kids will know it's not appropriate to wander around in front of strangers naked ect

I see you've explained your references to "prudes" as a defence against the "rabid fully dressed brigade" . How charming as if wearing clothes is not the norm

Wearing clothes is the norm. We're talking about walking a short distance in our own houses, in front of our own children naked.

I'm happy that this hasn't affected my children at all.

I actually don't care what some of the people puritanical idiots on this thread think - because it's irrelevant. They're you're irrelevant.

And that's my last comment on this hugely overblown topic!!

See Ya, wouldn't want to be ya!!

I'm a bit concerned about the poster who irons naked. I hope she is very careful.

Perhaps more concern for her DH Ethical