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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder when my kids won't mind seeing me or each other naked

166 replies

pingufan · 02/08/2014 21:08

I have a DS nearly 14 and DD 11. I still wander around with no clothes on after showering / changing and they don't seem to bat an eyelid as we've never discouraged nudity or ever made a fuss about it. They will walk in while im on the loo, in the bath etc too! On a recent holiday when the kids shared a room it struck me that maybe I should be covering up myself and ensuring they cover up around each other too?

There doesn't seem to be any embarrassment with either of them as they are happy to be naked around us and each other but my son Is starting to develop etc, daughter not yet.

I don't want to make a big deal over things but my nan thinks it's wrong that they wander around naked around each other and me and hubby, she thinks it's putting temptation in my sons way!!! The thought hadn't crossed my mind!

Anyone with older children, do they eventually become more private themselves or should I be encouraging them to cover up?

OP posts:
EthicalPickle · 02/08/2014 22:07

I think there is a difference in a bit of passing nudity ( eg walking across the hall to fetch a towel or a quick change of clothes) and being naked for the sake of it (eg watching the TV in the nude). I think the former is ok but the the later is a bit much for teens.
Apart from a bit of passing nudity I would have guessed Confused that it's quite unusual for teens of opposite sexes to be perfectly comfortable being naked with one another. I could be wrong

I really wouldn't want my teens walking in on me while I am on the loo or in the bath. Shock

Mini05 · 02/08/2014 22:10

I'm 56 DS is 24, he sees me naked, walks in my room, bathroom , but he won't let me and that's fine it's what he feels comfortable with.

Sallystyle · 02/08/2014 22:10

Pingufan, that sounds like something my husbands nan would say Hmm

She once told me when I was potty training one of mine, that if she didn't have knickers on constantly she would get a cold in her bits and become very ill! then she went on about how inappropriate it was to let her brothers see her with no underwear on. I would have put some knickers on her if I knew company was coming but she turned up unannounced and I didn't get time to put them on.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/08/2014 22:12

I do think you should establish boundaries, and appropriate behaviour now they are getting older. I don't think it's ok you all walk around naked round each each other, especially your dcs.

Delphiniumsblue · 02/08/2014 22:13

I wouldn't worry- at sometime it will possibly stop naturally. It is what people are comfortable with that matters.

Sallystyle · 02/08/2014 22:13

I have had some great talks with my son when I am in the bath.

I do have a lot of bubbles in my bath which covers a bit of me up.

Mine know that sometimes if they want to talk to me in private and not announce the fact that they want to do so, the best place to get me is in the bath.

I don't even have a lock on my bathroom.. I did and it broke years ago and never felt the need to replace it.

Sallystyle · 02/08/2014 22:14

Give me a reason why Aero?

What is exactly wrong with OP, mine and others on this thread boundaries?

I would love a logical reason why it isn't appropriate.

Bearbehind · 02/08/2014 22:16

Nudity is nothing to be ashamed of, especially in the immediate family.

Really? Hmm

So incest doesn't exist?

On one end of the spectrum there are radio campaigns about making children aware that other people should not be seeing their 'privates' and at the other end there are parents letting it all hang loose all the time?

Surely there's a happy medium?

Aeroflotgirl · 02/08/2014 22:19

U2 I just feel it isent appropriate, you are entitled to your view as I am mine so let's leave it there.

Fiddlerontheroof · 02/08/2014 22:19

Incest? Are you for real? Lol

Aeroflotgirl · 02/08/2014 22:21

Everyone has different levels of nudity depending on upbringing, preferences etc. I would hate my non primary school children to see me nude, nor do I feel it's appropriate to see each other nude once they are older.

Bearbehind · 02/08/2014 22:22

Incest? Are you for real? Lol

Very much for real.

At what point does being perfectly happy with your nudity around your teenage children tip over into something more sinister.

I accept that there is an argument for each to their own but I find it astonishing that so many people find it acceptable to blur the lines to such an extent.

Pico2 · 02/08/2014 22:25

" if the OP had posted from another perspective and said she was uncomfortable that family members wander around naked in front of her teenage children and she was uncomfortable with it, there would be outrage."

That wouldn't be the same situation at all. The OP is talking about a norm within her own nuclear family, not a random aunt stripping off in front of her teens.

I also really doubt that much incest stems from seeing family members walk past you naked.

Sallystyle · 02/08/2014 22:25

Aero, of course you are entitled to your views but this is a discussion site and it is interesting to see how you came to yours.

That's all.

Floop · 02/08/2014 22:26

My kids are 22 and 18, and they never grew out of nudity being normal.

We still all see each other naked frequently.

Fiddlerontheroof · 02/08/2014 22:27

It's a personal preference! It's always been that way in my family, and you think it's bordering on Incest? This is probably the most thought I've ever given it! It's just not an issue, it's what we feel comfortable with. No-one is leaping about naked and my kids are VERY clear about what isn't acceptable when it comes to their own bodies.

I'm sorry you find it astonishing....I find it astonishing that you immediately assume that it must be masking something more sinister!

Bizarre response!

Sallystyle · 02/08/2014 22:27

Nope

Nothing more sinister happening here.

You are making it into something it isn't. It's not sexual, its just a body. Something we all have.

If your mind goes straight to incest then I would say there is something wrong with YOU.

Unless you are just trying to stir the pot of course.

BertieBotts · 02/08/2014 22:28

Nudity does not have anything to do with sex. Nothing wrong with it at all but if it makes anybody uncomfortable then it should be stopped.

Temptation? Ridiculous.

Of course incest occurs but as others have said whether you walk around naked or not isn't going to magically make it happen or not happen.

Janethegirl · 02/08/2014 22:30

Everyone has a body, it's normal. Covering it up is only because of social norms. Get over it Grin

Aeroflotgirl · 02/08/2014 22:30

It's what I personally am used to and was brought up. I personally feel some things should be kept private. When I was 12 I stayed with my best friends house, her parents used to walk round naked when I was there I used to feel very uncomfortable. In particular kids have to learn they cannot walk in when someone is in the bathroom, it's rude IMO, I teach my children to wait outside when I'm on tge loo and they want me. To maintain some modesty in front of each other.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/08/2014 22:32

But I guess it's what your used to

Bearbehind · 02/08/2014 22:32

How the fuck is questioning wandering around naked in front of teenage children 'trying to stir the pot'?

Seriously, how do you get across to your children the dangers of potential predators (because they do exist) whilst exhibiting yourselves all the time and allowing them to think that's normal?

Pico2 · 02/08/2014 22:34

In some ways I think it is useful for children to see their parents bodies. In a world bombarding them with images of "perfect" bodies, porn etc, they may well end up with a very distorted image of what "normal" bodies look like and their own parents offer a non-sexual example of part of the wide range of "normal" bodies out there.

Apologies Pingu if you are groomed like a porn star and I have just suggested that your body is only "normal".

FrankSaysNo · 02/08/2014 22:35

This reply has been deleted

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Aeroflotgirl · 02/08/2014 22:36

My children can see my body is not perfect without me being completely nude. They can see my veiny legs, my muffin top, my double chins, I hardly look like a porn star Grin