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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH having a birthday strop... going to theme park with young family

107 replies

ItWasMyOwnSilence · 01/08/2014 07:52

It's DH's birthday in a couple of weeks and we'll be away. It'll be Me, DH, MIL, DSD (15), DD1 (2.9yo) and DD2 (4mo).

On his 'birthday day' DH wants to go to the local theme park - think Thorpe Park type with lots of thrill seeking rides. There's also a section suitable for younger children.

I don't think this is a good idea for the following reasons: DD1 hates rides and will refuse to go on anything. MIL who is elderly will not go on anything. I will need to be with DD2 constantly as she breastfeeds almost hourly (a whole other thread...), especially in the hot weather. Also I do not feel it would not be fair to leave MIL with DD's while DH, DSD and I go off on rides. The park is also quite expensive, about £20pp for adults and £15 for DD1 / MIL.

Based on the above AIBU to think going to this theme park is not a practical day out for our family? As it seems we'll be paying the best part of £100 for DH and DSD to go on rides whilst MIL and I try to entertain a bored toddler and a fractious baby?

I've tried discussing this with DH and apparently it is not open to discussion... We are going Hmm as it's his birthday and he wants to go there (no, he isn't 8!).

OP posts:
Mumof3xox · 01/08/2014 07:54

He is behaving like a spoilt child

That day would probably be a nightmare

If he is fully set on going let him and his dd go alone?

Littleturkish · 01/08/2014 07:54

Can't he and DSD go and you stay at home? Meet later for birthday meal?

mumblechum1 · 01/08/2014 07:56

What Littleturkish said.

backbystealth · 01/08/2014 07:57

From the information you've given us, yes he's being unreasonable.

But maybe he has promised this day out to his dd? Or just really wants that fun time with her?

Maybe he feels his plans are always/often kyboshed?

Is he normally a stubborn/unreasonable person or is there more to this?

littlewhitebag · 01/08/2014 07:58

I would agree that DH goes to the theme park with his DD and you, MIL and DC meet them later for an early dinner. The savings you will make from you not all going to the theme park will pay for your meal.

TheFirstOfHerName · 01/08/2014 07:58

There's hardly anything there for younger ones these days. There are one or two rides for those over 0.9m. Then a couple for those over 1.1m and a couple more for those over 1.2m. Everything else is 1.4m plus. There's an Angry Birds movie, but not sure how much your DD and MIL would enjoy that.

Perhaps your DH could just take DSD for the day? You, the little ones and your MIL would be better off finding somewhere else to go for the day.

chocolatemademefat · 01/08/2014 07:58

Tell him to take DSD to the theme park and the rest of you can meet up later for a meal. I wouldn't be dragging 2 young children around a busy theme park on a (possibly) hot day, especially if I had a very young baby who would need to be fed on an hourly basis.

Birthday treats at his age don't need to be spectator sports. If he's old enough to have kids he's old enough to know their needs come first. Even on his birthday.

Original poster
ItWasMyOwnSilence · 01/08/2014 07:59

I was going to suggest him and DSD going on their own, but I don't really want to put him in a position to have to choose who to spend the day with, I think if I did he would not go to the theme park so as to spend the day with all of us but be annoyed about it, if that makes sense?

OP posts:
GemmaTeller · 01/08/2014 07:59

I'd let DH and DSD go then all meet up for a meal later.

Ragwort · 01/08/2014 08:00

Surely a good compromise for DH to go with DSD for the day out and then you all have a birthday meal together in the evening - trying to find a 'day out' for such a diverse age group is going to be almost impossible.

TheFirstOfHerName · 01/08/2014 08:01

Would he compromise with Chessington W of A? A couple of fast-ish rides for him, a zoo and aquarium for the rest of you. A good day out for all ages.

Tinkleybison · 01/08/2014 08:06

I dont think he is being unreasonable in so much as it is a family friendly venue and its not like he wants you all to tag along while he plays golf or something unsuitable like that, however it doesnt sound like you would have a great day. You probably need to encourage him to go with Dsd so he doesnt feel like he has to spend the day with you.

Original poster
ItWasMyOwnSilence · 01/08/2014 08:07

It's not actually Thorpe Park - but similar. It's further up north so not near Chessington.

We all enjoy Zoo Type places and I think there's a safari style place nearby, which I've tried to suggest.

OP posts:
Original poster
ItWasMyOwnSilence · 01/08/2014 08:09

backbystealth DH, DSD and I discussed the park a white ago (when I was still PG and did not know how demanding DD2 would be), so yes we kind of 'promised' her we would be going, but she's quite grown up and understanding so I think she would see the reason in not going.

DH is normally much more reasonable and we would arrange to go somewhere where there is 'something for everyone'.

OP posts:
Coconutty · 01/08/2014 08:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

backbystealth · 01/08/2014 08:09

Maybe he actually wants you to suggest he goes alone with DSD?

Does he have a lot of time with her on his own?

I imagine probably not given you have two very young children.

She's 15 maybe he sees this as one of the last times she'll actually do a trip like this with him.

It is his birthday - why don't you take a different point of view, say go and have fun with DSD and we'll all meet up for a lovely dinner later or lunch next day?

VSeth · 01/08/2014 08:10

In school holidays the queues will be awful. The younger children will hate it.

Yama · 01/08/2014 08:11

I went there when 8 months pregnant and dd was 4.9 years old. She loved it. I sat down on a lot of benches and read my Kindle.

I would say though that 2.9 is far too young. You are right in that it will be a case of you and MIL looking after the 2 wee ones.

Personally, I would prefer to do that away from Thorpe Park.

bobbywash · 01/08/2014 08:12

If you can afford it, why not all go in the morning and then those that don't want to stay go, and meet up later for a meal.

It depends how you have dealt with Birthdays in the past. If it has always been the person whose birthday it is, has chosen what you do, he is not being unreasonable.

I think a bit of compromise is the best way for all.

puntasticusername · 01/08/2014 08:15

Is it Drayton Manor/Thomasland?

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 01/08/2014 08:18

Mm. The deal in our household is that birthdays are the single day of the year for selfishness. The proviso is that there's to be no arsiness either.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed? Fine. Buggering off drinking/extreme sports/craft fair etc. Fine. Freedom from child/parent? Your turn soon OP.

There is little so toxic in life as competitive altruism and martyrdom.

Original poster
ItWasMyOwnSilence · 01/08/2014 08:18

bobbywash since having DC we have normally chosen somewhere like a zoo / farm to spend our birthday as a family then DH and I would go out for an evening meal on our own. Pre DC we would have done theme park etc.

babystealth no not much on his own, we tend to spend all contact time as a family.

OP posts:
Purplecircle · 01/08/2014 08:21

Can you do it with tesco or nectar points? I just got Drayton manor tickets from club card.
At least you're not paying full price for a crap day

Simplesusan · 01/08/2014 08:25

I would suggest he goes alone with his dd.

You can spend time together later.

A 15 and a baby have very different needs.

Original poster
ItWasMyOwnSilence · 01/08/2014 08:26

No it's not Drayton Manor. Don't have clubcard / Nectar points, plus I am not sure if the theme park is part of such a scheme.

OP posts: