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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH having a birthday strop... going to theme park with young family

107 replies

ItWasMyOwnSilence · 01/08/2014 07:52

It's DH's birthday in a couple of weeks and we'll be away. It'll be Me, DH, MIL, DSD (15), DD1 (2.9yo) and DD2 (4mo).

On his 'birthday day' DH wants to go to the local theme park - think Thorpe Park type with lots of thrill seeking rides. There's also a section suitable for younger children.

I don't think this is a good idea for the following reasons: DD1 hates rides and will refuse to go on anything. MIL who is elderly will not go on anything. I will need to be with DD2 constantly as she breastfeeds almost hourly (a whole other thread...), especially in the hot weather. Also I do not feel it would not be fair to leave MIL with DD's while DH, DSD and I go off on rides. The park is also quite expensive, about £20pp for adults and £15 for DD1 / MIL.

Based on the above AIBU to think going to this theme park is not a practical day out for our family? As it seems we'll be paying the best part of £100 for DH and DSD to go on rides whilst MIL and I try to entertain a bored toddler and a fractious baby?

I've tried discussing this with DH and apparently it is not open to discussion... We are going Hmm as it's his birthday and he wants to go there (no, he isn't 8!).

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley1 · 01/08/2014 08:28

Yanbu.

Sounds like it'd be a total nightmare.

matildasquareded · 01/08/2014 08:28

I'd be tempted to go, put the baby in his arms, and then sprint off with DSD to go on all the fun rides for six hours. Check in with him at the end when he's sitting there with a squalling toddler and baby and a grumpy old lady. "Great idea for a day out, sweetheart!"

Of course he's going on his own with DSD. You're not paying to go and sit there with babies and pay for overpriced food. It's only a big deal if he makes it one.

So he's insisting on dragging everyone to an amusement park because it's his birthday? I'm kind of speechless at that.

whatever5 · 01/08/2014 08:28

It depends on what theme park you are going to. Drayton manor would be okay as it has a Zoo and Thomasland.

SadOldGit · 01/08/2014 08:29

Drayton Manor has the zoo as well -

MsVestibule · 01/08/2014 08:32

disgrace what on earth does your last sentence mean in the context of this thread Confused?

OP, YANBU. I understand why he wants to go, but I don't see why he should have to 'force' four people along with him when the day is plainly not going to be particularly pleasant for them. If you put the 'meet you later for dinner later' scenario in a positive way, as opposed to a 'well, I SUPPOSE you and DSD could go by yourselves', maybe he'll be OK with it. Is he a sulker?

NickNackNooToYou · 01/08/2014 08:33

I guess it is his birthday.

I would do as others suggested, talk to him and explain why it's a waste of money and time taking all of you. Yes, in theory it sounded fine while you were pregnant but the reality is very different. Your DDs are too young to overly care and it would be a lovely thing for your DH and DSD to do together.

Communication is the key here.

Namechangearoonie123 · 01/08/2014 08:36

I think it really depends on where you're going

If it's Alton Towers you can easily make it work just by going in the gardens, having a nice walk and enjoying the countryside and lake while he goes on rides.

A lot of theme parks have other things to do, if you tell us which one if bet there's a mumsnetter who can make it enjoyable for you

muffliato · 01/08/2014 08:38

Tell him it would be better to go with dsd. And you and mil do something more suitable with the kids.
Have a nice family dinner at night.

So it's his birthday, you will see him in the morning and evening. He doesn't need the whole family all day. It would be the same as if he was at home going to work. unless he takes the day off for his birthday

Original poster
ItWasMyOwnSilence · 01/08/2014 08:42

It's Pleasurewood Hills.

muffliato We have always tended to take birthday-days off work Grin

I might suggest we do something different on his birthday that we can all go to and enjoy then he takes DSD on a different day (we're away for a week) if he really wants to go.

OP posts:
Simplesusan · 01/08/2014 08:45

I personally would not pay to go to Alton towers to walk around the garden.
No offense name change, but what a complete waste of money.

As an aside the last time my dcs went to Alton towers they went on a grand total of 3 rides, it was a school trip so subsidised, but never the less they wre bitterly disappointed.

Wantsunshine · 01/08/2014 09:15

Just had a quick look at the place and there is lots for your 2.9 year old to do. There are a couple of shows too that you could watch while breast feeding like the sea lion and parrot show. Would toddler not like going on train and teacups?

JellyDiamond · 01/08/2014 09:18

My mum always used to pay to go in Alton Towers and wander around the gardens and the towers whilst we all went on the rides. It's not that bad a suggestion.

apermanentheadache · 01/08/2014 09:19

Hmm, against the grain here but it's his birthday. I think you're making it a bigger deal than it needs be. The world needn't revolve around your 2.9 yo. She will be fine for a day and I'd be very surprised if there was nothing at all for her to do. You can bf anywhere, that's the beauty of it.

hippo123 · 01/08/2014 09:24

I've just had a look as well and now think yabu. It looks ideal for the whole family. Lots for your 2 year old to do. It's only one day, I think you should just go.

HolgerDanske · 01/08/2014 09:28

Yes I definitely agree.

Day out with DSD whilst you mooch around at home the little ones, then meet up for birthday dinner. You do not have to do everything as a family.

Surfsup1 · 01/08/2014 09:30

For me it would depend if this was a part of a pattern or not. My DH hardly ever asks for anything and rarely does things just for himself, so if I was in your shoes I would just go along and suck it up make the most of it.
One the other hand, I have friends who's husbands seem to be forever on a boys weekend, golf day or big night out and if that were the case for me I'd be less inclined to pander to his whim.

Original poster
ItWasMyOwnSilence · 01/08/2014 09:33

No DD1 will not go on any rides, she will not even go on the little Thomas 'ride' in the foyer at Sainsbos Hmm so teacups et.al. are a no-no, unfortunately.

OP posts:
LEMmingaround · 01/08/2014 09:36

Its not up for discussion? Fuck that

HolgerDanske · 01/08/2014 09:38

Oh I didn't notice it wasn't up for discussion.

I agree with LEM!

Original poster
ItWasMyOwnSilence · 01/08/2014 09:43

Surfsup1DH is not in the slightest bit selfish, virtually everything he does is for me and DDs, which makes me feel worse about not wanting to go. I think I may have to do what PPs have suggested, 'suck it up' and hope the day is as stress free as possible.

OP posts:
BookABooSue · 01/08/2014 09:43

We have a similar rule as a PP - if it's your birthday, you can do what you want. Let him go to the theme park with DSD. It will be nice for them to have some time along and you can have a family party when they get back.

longjane · 01/08/2014 09:43

I would go
Your dh takes care of DSD and DD.

You mother in law and baby go to tea shop.
And lose your phone .

HolgerDanske · 01/08/2014 09:50

Hmmm ok.

When it's your birthday, make sure he gets to trawl round the same venue for the day with the little ones, won't you?

apermanentheadache · 01/08/2014 09:51

If he's not usually selfish and does lots for others then definitely yes, let him do something for himself on his birthday. You might even enjoy it :)

HolgerDanske · 01/08/2014 09:51

Bookaboosue, that's the point. He won't go for the day with Dsd, he's demanding that everyone go.