AIBU to get annoyed when asked my marital status when leaving a message?

[peanutbutterandbanana]

GGGRRRR - I used to get this in the last century... you make a call and the person answering needs you to leave a message, so you give your details and they say 'Miss or Mrs?'. My marital status is unnecessary and a man would certainly not be asked to confirm his personal home setup.

I've just called someone who runs an employment agency and I know her quite well. She's a one-woman-band so obviously uses one of these answering services, so I had to spend ages spelling my name out, detailing whether I was an individual or a company and then asked 'is it Miss or Mrs?', "Irrelevant," I said.

But my blood is now boiling. I cannot believe that we are well into the 21st Century and this question is still being asked when it is absolutely not relevant to this call or to my potential employment or to anyone else, in fact, apart from me and my OH/DP/DH. AIBU?

I agree with rooty. Must admit though that was laid back about DS having DH's surname. Not sure if I'd have insisted on mine for a girl.

Recently got a PhD and my school
students started calling me Dr, but, though it does get round the gender issue, it's not something I'm comfortable about as it seems pretentious in the UK if you're not a medical doctor - though suppose it may be acceptable for full-time academics.

I hate having to use a title. I also hate how people presume I am a mrs as I have a child. When I do get married I will keep the same name.

I always use ms or miss. I never want to be mrs as I always add about 20 years on to people if I see the name before the person. It just seems so old fashioned and something that older women did/do.

We definitely need a neutral title to avoid this pitfall.

reported

The thing is, using titles is relatively modern and pretentious in itself. Most people used to be First Name Last Name. A few, those who held enough land to vote, or owned a business etc, got Mr/Mrs/Miss. Even fewer had Lord/ Lady etc.

I'm not sure when using a title for everyone became normal, but I'm thinking some time in the 20th Century.

Ms first came into use in the 17th century - it's hardly modern or subversive.

Mrs is really Mr's, so denotes the belonging to a man?

How come that Mr stays Mr when HE gets married, but Miss changes to Mr's possession?

I always tick Ms. If I have to specify.

Lord Wackaman

I remember quite clearly living in an area of London where I got notices through the door about cabs, take away services, pizza, and voodoo.

This is such a moment.

Quint Yes! Me too! I lived in Hackney.

I lived near Elephant & Castle!

I wish it hadn't been reported now. We could have had the first ever Mumsnet live Voodoo thread.

Sort of Half way between Brixton and Elephant & Castle, to be specific.

Quint after Hackney I lived off Camberwell Road! Voodoo there too.

Yeah, like the poster not replying is the one with a needle through her doll.

I've lived all over Hackney and noone ever voodooed me

Lol, I give you

Far side of crazy....

And fear not MrsW, this is about the 40th time I've seen this post in one guise or another, you'll get your voodoo thread yet

Is it! We're being taken over!

YANBU .....( although you are being a bit unreasonable to be furious about it. I can only conjure up irritated )

I think I will take this thread as a reminder to be more arsey about it though. I hate being called Mrs EthicalPickle. It makes me sound like an old lady and it's the same flippin' name as my mother in law
I don't like Miss either.

I think I will start using the 'that's irrelevent' line and I also think I will start annotating any forms that ask unless it's something really official

I regret taking my DHs surname as it is. He is lovely and his name is lovely but it seems so sexist and old fashioned - if I got married to him again I would go for a new really cool surname for all of us.

but poly medical doctors are not REAL doctors - it is a courtesy title they are allowed to use (only since the 19th C I believe) - they are not actually doctors - a doctor is someone who had got a doctorate. I.e. has written a thesis in their subject which has been judged to be a significant and original contribution to the knowledge within that discipline - not just passed exams to prove they have a good memory. Who cares whether or not a medical doctor is capable of making an original contribution to knowledge? we want them to have a good grasp of the knowledge that is already around!

My kids called their teachers ma'am and sir when we lived abroad and then by their first names when we moved to the UK.

I've been Ms for years and years (I can't remember being Miss on anything official), and I've seriously considered buying a doctorate to get around the gendered title issue (except several of my friends lost years of their lives to becoming proper Drs and I wouldn't want to offend)... but now I think Dame whereisshe might have to be my new title

I quite like "BaronAmandaClarke*

But it's "male" isn't it.
(and I'm not)

I'm excited to find out that I can finally grow that moustache I wanted so my appearance matches my title.

I'm going to wax the ends and everything.