AIBU to get annoyed when asked my marital status when leaving a message?

[peanutbutterandbanana]

GGGRRRR - I used to get this in the last century... you make a call and the person answering needs you to leave a message, so you give your details and they say 'Miss or Mrs?'. My marital status is unnecessary and a man would certainly not be asked to confirm his personal home setup.

I've just called someone who runs an employment agency and I know her quite well. She's a one-woman-band so obviously uses one of these answering services, so I had to spend ages spelling my name out, detailing whether I was an individual or a company and then asked 'is it Miss or Mrs?', "Irrelevant," I said.

But my blood is now boiling. I cannot believe that we are well into the 21st Century and this question is still being asked when it is absolutely not relevant to this call or to my potential employment or to anyone else, in fact, apart from me and my OH/DP/DH. AIBU?

Just thinking about this, everyone, or should I say all women, should start calling themselves Mr, if there is a fuss just claim a spelling error or click error. Once a sufficient number are Mr s, when they are obviously female, then people will stop noticing or caring what title is written.

yes, that's why i chose mr. i'd rather it were a mistake that was obviously wrong than a mistake that nobody would know were wrong.

so go for mr when the situation arises.

Saying 'you choose, it doesn't matter to me' is a bit of a cop out sorry. It matters. Maybe not to you but it does matter. Choose one and if they don't have it shrug, but saying 'you choose' there's a middle ground between being rude and saying you choose!

YABU why do you care if someone knows your marital staus or not? I can't believe this would get someone's "blood boiling" - the very definition of a First World Problem if ever I saw one.

Aberchips Don't you mind about the fact that men are not asked their marital status but women are? Where's the equality there?

Not really, as far as I'm concerned they're just asking me how I wish to be addressed, I'm not sure they give 2 hoots if I'm married or not.

Playing devil's advoate perhaps, but isn't it good we have three titles to choose from if we wish? I am married but choose to be referred to as "Miss" - it makes me feel young. There is no obligation to become a "Mrs". I dislike "Ms", mainly for phonological reasons (it's just a noise not a word) but also I just don't see it as fitting my own concept of myself. The more choices the better and the more we choose the one we like, the fewer associations (negative or positive) there will be.

It's far easier just to assume women are Ms unless they say otherwise.

A few months ago I was in hospital. At the time I was admitted and booked it it was somewhere around 2am and I was using an oxygen mask. I was asked the usual questions, name, marital status etc and I wheezed out answers as best I could. Cue a day or two later when the consultant was doing his rounds with a gaggle of medical students and got to my bed just as DH turned up.

"Ah, Mr Slug's surname" announced the consultant, then proceeded to ask my very bemused DH a few questions about my health in the days prior to my admittance (I couldn't remember a lot). He kept on referring to me as Mrs Slug.

DH continued to look confused until I pointed out that two partiarchical concepts were at work here. Number one, on finding out that I was married the consultant assumed that I had taken my husband's name and two, because I was married I went under the title Mrs. Hence the assumption that because my name was Slug, therefore he was Mr Slug.

I did catch two of the students smiling. Both women. Both wearing wedding rings. I hope the point was made to the other students that it's sometimes safest to actually ask

I don't mind being "Miss" but I'm in my early twenties, I think if I was 50 and unmarried I would feel differently. However I'm quite looking forward to being a Mrs when I eventually get married

I don't see anything good about having three choices of title compared to one for men, it just causes confusion and mistakes, it would be so much easier just to have one.

A great blog I read on Mumsnet today

bellejar.ca/2014/11/11/stop-calling-it-my-maiden-name/

The bit after it says maiden just smacks of someone reading too much into it.

I'm a Mrs and I wouldn't like to be forced to be called Ms because others don't like to be called Mrs or Miss.

I've only skimmed it but my response to "is that your maiden name?" is always "no it's my surname".

My DW just says (deliberately snottily) 'no it's Dr actually!'

We have the same initials and the amount of people who assume I am the Doctor is quite staggering.