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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a busy site and as such

176 replies

strawberrydreamcake · 26/07/2014 22:22

Show respect for your own privacy and that of other people's?

I am not going to say which one, so don't ask and I'm going to ignore any guessing games as well as they aren't the point of the thread and I find them a bit pathetic. But I am almost positive a 'friend' has been discussing my situation on Mumsnet.

She's obviously meant no harm but I am very recognisable.

If you want to post about someone else, change a few details or similar. It just isn't fair on the person you're posting about!

OP posts:
Maryz · 26/07/2014 23:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 26/07/2014 23:57

But i could be from surrey,i could allude to that.me and the horses and the wee men

Maryz · 26/07/2014 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArsenicFaceCream · 26/07/2014 23:59

Bit late to start laying that trail now scottish Confused

Original poster
strawberrydreamcake · 26/07/2014 23:59

Definitely no narkiness implied or otherwise. Jolted I think would be fair. It probably sounds ridiculous to say it spooked me, but it did, just for a moment: I felt my heart speed up and everything!

It was actually an old thread. So not much point in reporting it even if it did say anything nasty, which it didn't. But - this is hard to explain - in it's essence something pretty horrible and was no ones fault happened a few months back and we are fine Now but at the time it gave the family a nasty shock. To see it written about, glibly, carelessly, was - I don't know. I'm sure people can imagine.

I personally wouldn't mind reading some stuff about me, it's when it's stuff like 'at her mums funeral my friend was just distraught and broke down so much she couldn't do the reading.' No one I think cares about promotions. It's other stuff.

I am rambling again. Sorry Grin

OP posts:
WestmorlandSausage · 27/07/2014 00:00

I also think I know which thread the OP is talking about, and if it is the one I think it is it was one of the ones I thought maybe needed a bit of thought from the OP about just how identifiable the situation was given the details they provided. I had a fleeting thought myself of starting a similar thread to the OP suggesting people might want to think before posting about stuff they know about others.

Its one thing posting your own (dirty or perfectly clean) laundry online, but its not really fair to do it to someone else.

scottishmummy · 27/07/2014 00:01

Youre a pure trooper op

WestmorlandSausage · 27/07/2014 00:02

or maybe not then...

ArsenicFaceCream · 27/07/2014 00:06

I hate it when threads turn codey Hmm

scottishmummy · 27/07/2014 00:08

I dont do codey,im too fick

Original poster
strawberrydreamcake · 27/07/2014 00:12

Codey?

OP posts:
ThisBitchIsResting · 27/07/2014 00:14

I like 'people know who I am' Grin

You've reminded me I need to do my 3-monthly name change.

And that sometimes people post on AIBU not because they want to discuss something, but because they want to lecture everyone. You are right about privacy though.

ArsenicFaceCream · 27/07/2014 00:16

I thought 'trooper' had some significance. I take it I'm wrong.

Original poster
strawberrydreamcake · 27/07/2014 00:16

No lectures from me. I was going for pointing it out.

I am a teacher though and have been accused by my better half of treating people like naughty eleven year olds before Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
strawberrydreamcake · 27/07/2014 00:17

Not to my knowledge, I just interpreted it as I stuck to my point and didn't get sidelined into silly arguments.

OP posts:
ArsenicFaceCream · 27/07/2014 00:17

Aha.

HilariousInHindsight · 27/07/2014 00:19

I agree with you op.

It's hard to find a balance of giving too much private detail and not being able to be given accurate enough advice.for someone in the know - what happened to vicar? :(

scottishmummy · 27/07/2014 00:20

Pure scottish for very good
trooper a belter, one who perseveres
Pure trooper,complimentary,colloquial

ArsenicFaceCream · 27/07/2014 00:23

Her son's employer tracked her MN posts via his laptop (which she had previously used). She had posted about their discrimination against him and attempts to fire him when he disclosed his autism and they then trawled back through years of her posting history and dredged up ancient personal issues and small family problems to use as leverage.

Outrageous.

ArsenicFaceCream · 27/07/2014 00:23

TY scottish

Sapat · 27/07/2014 00:30

So, you won't tell us the OP so we cant assess if boundaries were indeed crossed. You think you have been outed by someone and your solution is to draw even more attention to yourself by complaining noisily?
Get the OP deleted if it bothers you and have a word with friend, then move on. YABU.

scottishmummy · 27/07/2014 00:41

Well that surely told her didnt it.op scuttling to mnhq as we speak

ArsenicFaceCream · 27/07/2014 00:53

I can't tell if you're joking.

RaspberryRuffle · 27/07/2014 01:57

OP, yes I see what you're saying, if people put enough detail on here to out themselves it is one thing but they should take care with others' stories.
I know you have recognised yourself but can you be sure who the poster is IRL? I mean, if I saw a thread about me I might recognise myself but not know which of my friends posted the info, if that makes sense. I haven't told anyone I use this site apart from you DH, you say I'm always on MN and then I catch you reading it!.

Wonc · 27/07/2014 02:12

I can't engage in this thread properly as I'm still chuckling over AgentZigzag's link Grin