To think this is a busy site and as such

[strawberrydreamcake]

Show respect for your own privacy and that of other people's?

I am not going to say which one, so don't ask and I'm going to ignore any guessing games as well as they aren't the point of the thread and I find them a bit pathetic. But I am almost positive a 'friend' has been discussing my situation on Mumsnet.

She's obviously meant no harm but I am very recognisable.

If you want to post about someone else, change a few details or similar. It just isn't fair on the person you're posting about!

Well, in that example, we see ages, locations and jobs. And they were people describing themselves so not even examples of friends over sharing.

Did they confirm that it was them or do you just think it is?

It'd have to be a lot of detail to recognise someone or some sort of knowledge that they were on here already so there was something to subconsciously look for. I've only recognised one person on here and that was after she told me she was an mnetter, told me the topic she posted on regularly and then I recognised her by her username which included the name of her dog. If she hadn't told me she was on here, in a topic I posted in, I wouldn't have spotted her.

I think if you avoid the basics, you aren't going to give the game away.

Best line ever,mary im not a tit

I don't think it does have to be that specific as it's usually the combination of details that give it away - I could post something about how I discovered my allergies and then mention a friend whose child has recently had an operation and anyone from my friendship group would know it is me. Not because either of things are unique in themselves, but because two fairly unremarkable pieces of information are unique enough to be recognisable when put together.

sienna - those were ones I made up -

I'm just trying and failing to explain, nicely, how you can just be chatting and totally inadvertently give away a lot of information - okay if it's about you but another thing if it's 'my friend was sacked for getting caught with cocaine at work' - and that DEFINITELY wasn't me!

Ooh, slightly off topic, but was it on here that someone used to find people based on their posts to show how much they shared over time?

I can agree with people over sharing about themselves over time revealing who they are. I don't think one thread about someone outs anybody without names, ages etc.

Oh, so you haven't recognised anybody then?

For a lot of people though MN can be a lifeline if they don't have any adult contact for most of the day.

They just want to chat.

You'd have to use serious amounts of effort remembering WTF you'd changed the details to, and going on the amount of posters I've seen saying they can't even remember their MN password, that's bound to bring out the trollhunters to sniff round the inconsistencies.

Do, yes, that's precisely it.

It's not 'my friend had a boy in May' as people have quite right pointed out, loads of people probably had boys in May.

It's "my friend had a boy in May and 2 weeks later her mum was admitted to hospital and died 3 days later."

BUT those combination of facts would only be known to a very small number of people thus unlikely to actually out the subject?

However, I know there have been outings - was there not a terribly one this week?

It's the connection of little things, but very hard not to do.

I remember that!she got internet piccies of the husband,the town,it was scary

Oh, sienna, I've just realised which one you meant. I have recognised people, yes.

Look, ultimately people will post what they will. I'm not MN HQ. I think it's kind and courteous to just bear in mind what you're posting about others, but I'm not debating it. I'm just saying - it's easier than you might think to recognise yourself or somebody else.

Anyway. I don't want to keep going around, and around in circles. I have laboured my point a bit I think.

I agree with the general point that regular posters can drip feed tiny details over time. Nothing in itself is a hugely identifiable thing but if you choose to pick someone and 'research' them on here, you can identify people.

There was a poster whose name I forget who proved it. A few people volunteered to be stalked and the poster had good results.

Name changing helps. Remembering not to be too specific helps. Posting on 'What's it like to live in threads doesn't.

Oh, I agree it's kind and courteous, for sure. I just don't think it's as easy to recognise people as you say. It would take a lot lot lot of overshare for someone to read a thread and go OMG THATS ABOUT SIENNA!

Over time though, for sure.

Do they regret moving to York or something?

Do they wear Crocs and smoke weed OP, that's what we need to know.

I think some people treat MN as they would chatting to pals - you share and ask for advice. Sometimes that advice it on behalf of a friend. People forget or don't understand that this all leaves a trace which is searchable if someone was to want to.

Most posts are innocuous but some can be terribly harmful. Who can honestly say they have never been on a thread when the OP has been warned that they are giving away too much - often about someone else.

I was on one earlier where a photo and full name was posted thus meaning all her social networking was public

Maryz, no, I'm not annoyed at all. It's difficult to explain - it gives you a funny jolty sort of feeling, to see yourself written about, probably similar to hearing people discussing you, even though they're not saying anything mean or untrue, it's just strange seeing your life being entertainment, or a lifeline (?) to others.

By the way it wasn't something funny like a dog falling in a river or similar. It was more 'WOW this happened to someone I know ...'

If I was not clear initially I apologise but I do think I subsequently made my meaning clear ...

Although I am thinking about reading through all my posts now I'm a detail changer though so I think I'm safe.

I understand what you mean OP

The poster could set the scene; York, promotion, newborn,

Add a couple more details that narrow it down.

Then go on to blab about the huge marital dispute you had caused by the disastrous financial decision on of you made.

sorry Maryz its not often I disagree with you but I do frequently see threads and become a bit concerned that the human subject of them is very identifiable to anyone that knows them. People seem to be a lot more careless with other people's details than they are their own.

It doesn't necessarily cause harm to anyone but its still not nice, very similar to overhearing someone gossiping about you in real life. I do think sometimes people need to stop and think 'would I mind if someone was posting about my personal life in the same way'.

I'm guilty of having done it myself, I posted about a tricky family situation when I was a fairly new poster and I still feel cold about just how much information I put in it and how easily identifiable it would have been to the people involved had they come across it. There wasn't anything nasty in it but would have been hard reading for them.

cross posts Maryz! I now see you have recognised the issue generally, sort of

In general terms though, don't MOST MNers change minor details about their lives as Scottish Surrey advocates? I always do. I have five children more than I ever admit to

I know some posters post photos and talk about the towns they live in, the companies they work for but isn't that brave/trusting verging on foolhardy?