to be angry at the fact women MUST NOT BE FAT

[MagicMojito]

I'm just so pissed off with the double standards!

I went into primark and there is a whole wall dedicated to "hide your fat" type underware
and I dont just mean Spanx and the like, there were corset type tops, underware leggings to stop the wobble as you walk, a "no more back fat" vest - I shit you not, that's what it said on the label!! Rows and rows of the same type of fat hiding underware in all different styles and colours.

In comparison the men's underware department consisted of three rails, boxer shorts, briefs, socks and vests . Its the same in most shops now (although I was pretty shocked and impressed with such a vast range of products of this style)

In summer all over the tv/magazines its advertising how to get a great bikini body, fab abs, summer holiday slim down etc.

Winter its the little black dress diet for the office Xmas party!! -AIMED ONLY AT WOMEN

Aibu to just think FUCK OFF ALREADY?!
I realise this is nothing new BTW. I just had a realisation that things are only gonna get worse and I feel sad that this is the message that my dds are going to get brought up around

That's really not what I'm saying Darkesteyes but I don't think I have the time or the patience to keep trying to explain things to do when you are, in all honesty, determined to be offended!

I mean, it is a free country and you or I or anybody are free to eat! Eat what you please, when you please - but the driving force behind this is greed and I personally find that distasteful given that many are starving, amongst other reasons I have outlined in some detail.

Good night.

And I find your emotional blackmail incredibly distasteful.

Well, what a twat. That post just confirmed what I was thinking. It's a shame when someone loses a lot of weight and assume what was true about them is true of other people. You share and share your experiences and reasons for being overweight and people are still determined to bring it down to "you fat, you greedy".

God I hope I don't turn into a dick if slash when I lose weight.

Captain Im sure you wont. I go to SW but don't stay to class I weigh in and go. Because when the women started talking about "healthy competition" and the consultant seemed to think it was a good idea....I was appalled. That's a breeding ground for eating disorders as far as im concerned.

And having been through it I would never dictate what anyone else needs to do.

We are all individuals not one big homogenous mass that are all the same.

I hope not, darkest. And it's funny you say that about SW, that's one of the reasons I didn't go to the groups. The competitive edge just felt wrong for me especially with the mh stuff from before. My mum found it supportive though which seemed odd to me but ho hum!

Captain on the SW fb support page (closed group) that goes with the class some have been posting the odd fat shaming picture or pictures of an Elle McPherson type in a bikini. Pisses me right off.

And in the past when I did stay to class I made it VERY clear that I think the emphasis should be on health NOT looks.

But it felt/feels like im just pissing in the fucking wind.

OP - NOOOOO! I was YANBU-ing with you

I am so sick of endless self-congratulatory threads waxing endlessly about the horrrroooorrrr of fat. This thread is not one of those threads.

I would also say, it's one thing to be ashamed of a character trait. You can hide traits, they aren't a 24/7 thing.

It is an entirely more unpleasant and all-consuming thing to be ashamed of your body. It scares me that posters are happy to encourage people to feel like this.

I don't agree that no-one cares what men look like and they aren't pressured to look a certain way. I just think there are different expectations and pressures.

The 'desired' look for men is muscular. All the mens magazines (not the Nuts type, the Mens Health etc) have pages and pages of enormous arms, big pecs, and six-packs. And pages of advertising for protein powders, creatine and supplements to 'build muscle'.

Young men are spending hours in the gym or in their bedrooms lifting weights because they're being told that being very muscular is what men should look like.

All the superhero films, Wolverine etc star muscle-bound actors. Geordie Shore and the like has hugely muscled lads with their tops off 90% of the time. If you go into many of the more
male-oriented gyms you'll find sharps bins because so many of the customers are using steroids (purely for muscle-building, not performance enhancing). Go to most city centres on a Friday night and most of the lads are wearing too-tight tops over great big arms and chests.

My best friend is 36 and male and naturally skinny. He is sick of people telling him he's skinny all the time or looks like a young boy so is lifting weight and eating protein every 3hrs. And he gets sneered at and whispered about by other male gym patrons because he doesn't look like them (yet).

Happybubblebrain - Surely men having higher weights is due to how they carry weight. For instance dh is 12 stone but not a scrap of fat on him as he has a physical job. He has completely flat stomach etc.

Im 9 stone at the moment and heavily pregnant. Im waddling, absolutely huge, breathing is harder etc. Its because Im a woman so carry the weight different.

You know what this debate/situation has not changed one jot since I was a teen in the 80s.

It's not something that's got worse or or is some new evil, cynical game the the retailers are playing. Yes the 'hold you in' underwear technology has got more advanced and there are more retailers offering underwear anyway, but women have always sought ways to look slimmer.

It is supply and demand.

Women from all backgrounds and all ages talk and worry about their weight in my 49 years of experience.

Most women do care what they look like, do care about weight gain, do care about 'back fat', do care about tummy bulges, do diet, do compare figures, do talk about what they are eating or trying not to eat.

Fat is a feminist issue for sure.

But it's not the demon retailers and marketeers and magazines to blame. Or certainly not predominantly.

Put a 'healthy' model/celeb (for that read overweight) on a magazine cover and it doesn't sell.

In a mass market sense, larger women are not aspirational to us. They don't make us buy magazines or clothes.

If they did, they'd be used all the time. Simple as that.

I agree with all the sentiments on here about size and looks not mattering. On paper. In real life, not so much.

YANBU im glad im not the only one who thinks this way

yabu a lot of women are overweight so clearly it is allowed.

All this health stuff it is clearly very unhealthy to be very big but overweight category seems not a massive health risk. People are adults and can decide which risks to take, same with drinking (a little) too much wine/ smoking/ aspartame etc.

The contractions on here are amusing 'real' women have curves and someone suggested 'size 10' or 10 stone is the attractiveness barrier. At the risk of pointing out the obvious fact that someone of 5ft who is a size 10 will be 'fatter' than someone 6ft. As for 10st at 6ft=stick thin 5ft=overweight.

I'm a pretend woman as I don't have curves

What a load of shit.

I'm 5' 6 & 10st 4 atm, although I can go from 9.8 to 10.8 quite easily - I really have to watch what I eat to stay around the 10 stone mark, & I generally do as I'm happier being on the slimmer side, I feel fat at 10. 8, although I don't actually look it iyswim - it's all to do with what makes you feel happier, & if you're happy being 18 stone then that's great!

To get back to the shapewear - what I hate about it is that it's promoting more consumption, in order to fix a problem that was caused by overconsumption in the first place.

Manufacturers are constantly finding ways to shove highly-calorific over-processed foods in our faces. We buy too much food and overeat. Then it's ewww, you don't look right - nobody wants to see that back fat! Here, buy our new range of shapewear!

Completely fucked-up.

Is putting shape wear any worse than spending our leisure time and money exercising to change our shape (not for health).

Yes, I think it is. Even if you're exercising to change your shape, the side-effects on your health are a positive thing. The only side-effect of buying shapewear is a depleted bank balance.

I must admit I don't get the angst around shapewear. It's just clothes. Is it really any different to me choosing to buy a skirt that covers my thighs rather than letting it all hang out in a mini?

I like to look in the mirror and think I look nice. If someone thinks that shapewear flatters their figure what's it to you? Should I show my flabby thighs off and not dress to flatter my shape?

and of course shapewear is hardly new they used to be called corsets

Hardly anybody has worn corsets for years. A few corsets here and there is hardly the same as this wall of reshaping shite that the OP is referring to.

no it isnt the same they were bloody uncomfortable for a start.

I've never worn any shapewear its not compulsory these days but if someone wants to what is the issue?

We've all said what we think the issue is; I'm not sure what you're asking?

er Yes and I'm saying people should be allowed to wear what they want and disagreeing with you. That's the point of aibu surely?

I have been overweight for the past 20 years (thyroid/greed/laziness - mine, not anyone else's). I am finally losing weight (still have 6lbs to go to get out of the 'overweight' BMI though). When I read a thread like this I just think FFS, am I now supposedly pandering to society's ideals or do I actually look and feel better? This is like a dieting/exercise shaming thread rather than a fat shaming one.

I like knickers that are slightly 'control'. My stomach is fairly desensitised after two c-sections and an appendectomy, so big knickers help. I hate tiny thongs, but don't get irate that shops sells them.

This is NOT a thread debating whether or not its healthy to be fat. It's about the fact that women are specifically targeted in a way that men arnt.

What about all the supplements, protein shakes, gym equipment, bodybuilding, hairloss products, football stuff etc? They are specifically targeted, but in a different way - in a 'this makes you more male' way. OH is far more interested in keeping his weight down and exercising than I am, so it's not a man/woman thing here.

It is a very difficult debate because on one side we are being told that it has become too acceptable to be overweight and on the other we are being told that it is unacceptable to question it.

KoalaDownUnder Thu 24-Jul-14 07:54:52
Hardly anybody has worn corsets for years. A few corsets here and there is hardly the same as this wall of reshaping shite that the OP is referring to.

My gran wore a 'girdle' in the 70s/80s. Same thing I think.