to be angry at the fact women MUST NOT BE FAT

[MagicMojito]

I'm just so pissed off with the double standards!

I went into primark and there is a whole wall dedicated to "hide your fat" type underware
and I dont just mean Spanx and the like, there were corset type tops, underware leggings to stop the wobble as you walk, a "no more back fat" vest - I shit you not, that's what it said on the label!! Rows and rows of the same type of fat hiding underware in all different styles and colours.

In comparison the men's underware department consisted of three rails, boxer shorts, briefs, socks and vests . Its the same in most shops now (although I was pretty shocked and impressed with such a vast range of products of this style)

In summer all over the tv/magazines its advertising how to get a great bikini body, fab abs, summer holiday slim down etc.

Winter its the little black dress diet for the office Xmas party!! -AIMED ONLY AT WOMEN

Aibu to just think FUCK OFF ALREADY?!
I realise this is nothing new BTW. I just had a realisation that things are only gonna get worse and I feel sad that this is the message that my dds are going to get brought up around

Thanks for acknowledging that part of my post. Care to answer the part about whether you'd tell aids victims or car crash victims whether you'd "see them on the pathology table?"

Agree with op about double standards - wasn't defending being overweight or the health benefits of being slim+excercise+healthy eating (because it's not just being slim, I know some really slim unhealthy feckers)

But weight isn't always the first thing a man is judged by. For a women it certainly is and also affects how she is judged on other standards - intelligence, capability to do something etc. Definetely not the same for men - if they are good at something their weight won't affect the judgement of it but women are not given the same good grace.

Fanjo Are you 'offended' by my 'judging'?

Although I'm not judging. Each to their own, utterly libertarian about sex drugs rock sex fags fat sex don't care.

Thanks for acknowledging that part of my post. Care to answer the part about whether you'd tell aids victims or car crash victims whether you'd "see them on the pathology table?

Unsure of the relevance?

It works both ways as I have not really encountered many women that love fat men or beer bellys.

Yup. You don't see fat men modeling clothes or in adverts. Far isn't desirable full stop, in men or women.

I'm sure there are more than a few tubby men that would love special underwear to disguise their excess rolls, unfortunately for them there's no mass market for it because most men choose to lose weight if they don't like being fat.

If women are happy being fat there's no law requiring them to hide it, they can flaunt it as much as they wish, if they want to hide it they can, if they'd prefer to have nothing to hide they can save a fortune on less food and join a gym.

Women are not victims because we have more choices than men, if the ability to disguise fat was limited to slimwear for men, the very same women would again be claiming victim hood because we'd be the gender required to exercise and limit food intake to look slimmer in clothes.

Yabu.

Women aren't being targeted - the market is recognising that women are no longer trying to change their shape - they're embracing it. Clothing ranges are therefore accommodating it. Money......

Yanbu

I also feel like I'm constantly compared to when I was at 'my best' which for me was when I was a student and only ever ate toast and spent most of my money on nights out. so yeah I was a 6 but I was SO unhealthy.

Now I'm a positively beastly size 10-12 , tee total, non smoker, health food enthusiast but people who knew me 'at my best' keep making remarks about my weight or suggesting diets I could go on :(

I think being fat is something to be ashamed of, to be honest.

It isn't the worst thing you can be obviously but it certainly isn't something to be proud of, in a world where many are starving.

I daresay I'll get torn to shreds for that but it's true.
I'm overweight myself, not by much - about half a stone - but I'm certainly not proud of my greed, I'm ashamed of my lack of self control around fattening foods and I'm ashamed I don't always take the time to exercise.

It doesn't mean some fat people aren't absolutely lovely but if we look at fat, not a person - it isn't something to promote in any way.

The relevance? Just curiosity really! Why would you single fat people out for such an unpleasant remark if you wouldn't for others? And yes, I'm aware that weight is the subject of this particular thread, but I'm genuinely curious.

This isn't a new thing .Women used to wear girdles, and before that corsets. Lycra wasn't invented then.Most women do want to look thinner than they actually are, hence the market for shape wear.

Not offended, just think it's horrible and shallow to go round bothering what others look like.

Other people starving is not a stick for overweight people to beat themselves with.

THis thread aint MN at its best.

Would just like to add, lots of women don't seem to feel the need to wear shapewear or disguise their shape and size in any way.

Last time I saw a HIV patient 'empower' themselves by embracing an earlier death? Who knows.

Last time I saw a car crash victim say 'Fair dues'? Who knows.

People - not individuals, a 'people' - are dying, willfully dying, choosing this life, 'happy with what they've got', FB messages that 'real men like curves', just I don't know....frustrating?

pickle yr ignorance is astounding People are starving in this country hence the need for foodbanks. Have you ever seen what is available at a foodbank Nothing perishable is allowed hence no fresh fruit or veg.

There is a link between poverty and obesity.

And ppl can also be overweight as a side effect of medication My DH and the bloke who lives in the flat underneath us are both on similar meds for heart problems and they both have a swollen belly as a side effect.

Ok maid, fair enough. Who knows really.
But... There are thousands of other acts people do willingly every day that contribute to their earlier deaths. Fat just seems to attract such a level of vitriol because it's so visible! As opposed to the skinny, pretty coke addict; the gregarious, engaging alcoholic.
I dunno
I'm just so SICK of the fat bashing on MN lately.

This is a quote from an essay in the New Yorker that I read recently. It sums up exactly why the breezy "oh but women care about this stuff and men don't" (subtext, because women are essentially shallow) is off base.

"Beauty is often treated as an essentially feminine subject, something trivial and frivolous that women are excessively concerned with. Men, meanwhile, are typically seen as having a straightforward and uncomplicated relationship with it: they are drawn to it. The implication is that this may be unfortunate—not exactly ideal morally—but it can’t be helped, because it’s natural, biological. This seems more than a little ironic. Women are not only subject to a constant and exhausting and sometimes humiliating scrutiny—they are also belittled for caring about their beauty, mocked for seeking to enhance or to hold onto their good looks, while men are just, well, being men"

The full essay is here:

www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/a-first-rate-girl-the-problem-of-female-beauty

and OP, YANBU. It's a piece of shit. As for the nonsense on this thread about "see you on the pathology table" - that's just an attempt at point-scoring and shaming. Nobody has said it's good to be size 30. Within reason, it's actually completely fine to be fat - meaning have chunky thighs or a pot belly. It's not a pathology.

CatKisser Overweight people are "the safe prejudice" If the internet had existed pre 1967 there would be similar threads about gay people saying stuff like "Well he doesn't HAVE to sleep with a member of his own sex"

And if it had existed pre 1976 I suspect there would have been loads of racist threads too.

I buy shape wear.

I'm getting a "post menopausal" shape, plus I'm on life saving medication that causes stomach fat.

When wearing some styles of dresses, I'm not going to embrace my shape, any more than I would embrace my grey hair (shudder).

Shape wear, does what it says on the tin, it's not always possible to change your shape with exercise.

Plus, it's not always possible to have enough time to exercise, effectively.

I just typed 'male underwear models' into Google

Do any of them look fat? Or like your average man on the street?

No they don't. Men are also bombarded with unrealistic images when it comes to advertising.

Even if they wanted to look like these men, there are no clothes available for men to get that 'sculpted' look.

But I'm sure as soon as they are invented, men will be snapping them up too.

I absolutely agree, DarkestEyes
I just... Think of all the bigger women who do amazing jobs, change lives, make astonishing discoveries....but first and foremost - oh she's fat.