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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take child home early?

297 replies

Boreoff · 21/07/2014 18:25

Today is hot, my 5 year old had an all day trip to the local park and I also went along to help.

4 hours in, after lunch I had to leave and my dc wanted to come with me as dc was very hot (covered in sweat) I asked the teacher and she was very rude to me and not happy that we were leaving early and made this very clear infront of my dc.

I had to leave and took my dc with me as dc would have become upset as she was so hot a bothered.

AIBU to have taken her home with me?

OP posts:
sanfairyanne · 21/07/2014 22:24

the key part really is
'i had to leave and my dc wanted to come with me'

not
'she was too hot so i decided she needed to leave'

my 5 year old would cry and beg to come home too if i was helping out then went home. lots of little kids would.
best not to help out if she is clingy

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 22:27

Yes but if she hadn't have been so hot and fed up after already been there for 4 hours I would have agreed, if she had been happy my leaving wouldn't have been a problem.

OP posts:
sanfairyanne · 21/07/2014 22:34

what would you have done if you didnt have to leave?

MrsWinnibago · 21/07/2014 22:35

SanFairyAnne I LOVE your username! What a glorious story that is!

MollyHooper · 21/07/2014 22:39

Meh, I would have taken her home too. It's really not the big deal people seem to be making it out to be.

4 hours is plenty. Perhaps the teacher will rethink activities for very hot weather in future.

sanfairyanne · 21/07/2014 22:41

Grin MrsWinnibago, why thank you Grin

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 22:41

Sanfairy - we would have prob stayed a little longer as she would have found comfort in me and would have had 1:1 care with me, however I still don't think I would have had her stay for another 2 hours

OP posts:
Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 22:44

For the past few days at school all the children have been watching films etc, all very casual I guess that's why I didn't think it would be a big deal.

OP posts:
Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 22:44

And yes I think they should rethink the trip, half a day would have been plenty.

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 21/07/2014 22:45

The thought of the poor doll lying in that pond broke my heart as a kid...the joy when the new outfit is made from pyjamas...I could see the french woman as she went into the pond!

Bettercallsaul1 · 21/07/2014 22:48

This is one of these AIBU's where there really is no "correct " answer - the OP reacted (quite understandably) as a parent and the teacher reacted (equally understandably) as a teacher. The OP's main concern was with her individual child's wellbeing - both physical and emotional - whereas the teacher's was with her group of five-year-olds as a whole. The OP genuinely felt that her daughter merited special treatment - the teacher saw such special treatment as having an adverse effect on the rest of the group. Neither was wrong - they both (necessarily) saw the situation from a different perspective.

It is the kind of question that will never achieve a consensus. I think the OP was aware of the two completely opposing opinions possible and was posting in the hope of validation of her own. But there really are questions where you cannot please everyone (ie parents and teachers) and you just have to have the courage of your convictions and dare to disagree if you feel strongly enough. Sometimes you have to accept disagreement and unpopularity as the result of making a choice.

MollyHooper · 21/07/2014 22:48

You're right about the half day, 6 hours in a park on a hot day is just too much.

Did they have anywhere to chill out in the shade if they got fed up?

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 22:56

Bettercall- you are right, I still do believe I did the right thing for my child but can now understand the teachers view.

If the teacher had have spoken to me and given me a reason etc instead of giving me the bad attitude I would have understood her point better.

OP posts:
Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 22:57

They did have areas of shade yes.

OP posts:
chocolatemademefat · 21/07/2014 23:23

I think you should really be providing your DD with a mobile phone when the new term starts. That way if the temperature isn't to her liking she can give you a call and arrange to be picked up. And that excuse for a teacher! Imagine in this day and age when parents know everything about everything that she should expect you to abide by the rules. I think in this case SHE WBVU and if I were you I'd be firing off a letter to the school board.

On the other hand you could tell your daughter she stays until home time. But you both sound kind of special for that.........

NickiFury · 21/07/2014 23:31

I'm just always surprised at how willing posters on here are to hand over total control over their very small children to schools. I prefer to have a working relationship with my dd's school and it's a good job really because if it had been left to them my dd would never have had her ASD diagnosed as they never noticed a thing despite her significant difficulties for a time.

Schools are not infallible, they get a wrong sometimes. Some questionable things have happened in schools. Unquestioning obedience shows limited critical thinking imo and a lack of safe guarding of your child by you as a parent.

tilbatilba · 21/07/2014 23:36

I would have done the same - sensible decision.

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 23:41

Chocolate - your post adds nothing to the thread.

Do you feel big and clever now?

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Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 23:42

Nicki - completely agree and thanks tilbat

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heraldgerald · 21/07/2014 23:46

Absolutely what nicki fury said.

Op Yanbu. Your dc is a very young child, why would you leave her doing something that was non educational and distressing? Schools get it wrong plenty. A bit more critical thinking and respect for parents decision making would improve things hugely.

heraldgerald · 21/07/2014 23:48

And fwiw I think the teacher sounds extreme ly unprofessional and I would ask to speak to the key stage leader about it.

Iownathreeinchferrari · 21/07/2014 23:50

Well she's only 5, does it matter? She's reception age. She's not doing her A levels. In lots of other countries she wouldn't actually be at school aged 5.

Happy36 · 21/07/2014 23:50

If all of the parents were there and you had no responsibility beyond your child then I suppose your behaviour might be considered reasonable although perhaps not the best lesson for your child.

As other posters have said it would be wise to think twice before attending this type of event in future particularly as you have upset the teacher.

Iownathreeinchferrari · 21/07/2014 23:54

Unquestioning obedience, I really dislike that quality in parents. The state want us to believe it knows what's best for our children when in fact they don't.

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 23:54

Thanks herald. Yes I think it was unprofessional and a silly way to act, I'm annoyed as it was infront of my dc and she thought her teacher was cross with her.

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