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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take child home early?

297 replies

Boreoff · 21/07/2014 18:25

Today is hot, my 5 year old had an all day trip to the local park and I also went along to help.

4 hours in, after lunch I had to leave and my dc wanted to come with me as dc was very hot (covered in sweat) I asked the teacher and she was very rude to me and not happy that we were leaving early and made this very clear infront of my dc.

I had to leave and took my dc with me as dc would have become upset as she was so hot a bothered.

AIBU to have taken her home with me?

OP posts:
cardibach · 21/07/2014 18:47

Quip I think you may have an axe to grind here... The Op asked for opinions. Nobody is saying what you are saying, just suggesting that this particular thing was unreasonable!

Also not sure why the children were more hot than they would have been in school - I get that sun exposure might have been an issue, but unless your DCs school is an old Victorian building it will be much cooler outside than in! It isn't actually unhealthy to be 'covered in sweat' wither - that's how the body cools. As long as the liquid is replenished it's fine. They are in a park in a British summer (although warm, it isn't in unheard of temperature for Britain territory) not the Sahara - they'll survive! I'm sure the teachers are doing all they can to keep them cool as they won't want overheated, overtired children to look after.

gordyslovesheep · 21/07/2014 18:47

oh dear Quipfree I feel you have a teeny little agenda of you own there Grin

MrsWinnibago · 21/07/2014 18:48

OP. Did they know you were only staying 4 hours? Maybe you left them short of helpers?

adsy · 21/07/2014 18:48

You do know that children aren't allowed to just up and leave when it's a school day, don't you?
YABU

WhereTheWildlingsAre · 21/07/2014 18:49

How was the teacher rude? Did. She blow raspberries? Call you mean things? Point out it's a school day? Punch you?

Just wondering what 'rude' means.

cardibach · 21/07/2014 18:49

Do we know yet how 'rude' the teacher was? What did she say? What tone?

SiennaBlake · 21/07/2014 18:49

Aibu? NO I DO NOT THINK I AM BU.

Why did you bother asking then? Confused

WhereTheWildlingsAre · 21/07/2014 18:50

Loving the mass cross posting Grin

NynaevesSister · 21/07/2014 18:50

Crikey Quipfree now that is rude and displays a lot of nasty assumptions you hold about mums here. Smiley or no smiley.

The OP did make it seem she was there as a parent helper. Only drip feeding in later that in fact it was a day out for the kids with all parents invited. If a parent is leaving early of course a child may want to go with. School day is 6 hours. Child had been there for 4. They were in a park.

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 18:50

QuipFree thank you, you have made me smile.

Why would I leave my 5 year old in distress when I had the option not to?

Don't want to go into too much detail about what the teacher said as don't want to be outed. But she was rude and very annoyed, I think this was unprofessional to do infront of my dc.

OP posts:
NickiFury · 21/07/2014 18:51

I've done this before and school were fine about it, all parent helpers were allowed to take their dc rather than trek back to school with them. They're the same after all trips if you help out. It seems our school is rather more sensible than many according to this. I am beginning to appreciate them more.

cardibach · 21/07/2014 18:51

It's not often AIBU reaches such almost word for word agreement, WhereTheWildThingsAre!

arethereanyleftatall · 21/07/2014 18:52

I can't imagine 'being a bit sweaty' is on the list of official acceptable reasons for absence from school.
Yabu. And more than that, this is really really unfair on the other 5 year olds who would have also rather have gone home early with their mum.

WhereTheWildlingsAre · 21/07/2014 18:53

Don't worry cardi, op is choosing to only read the poster who appears to be agreeing with her anyway Grin

I still don't understand what constitutes 'rude'

QuipFree · 21/07/2014 18:54

Quip... Nobody is saying what you are saying

Actually, we've already had 'it wasn't your call' and 'I can see you being crossed off the mum helper list'. Tick, tick.

Alisvolatpropiis · 21/07/2014 18:54

Was she actually distressed, as in, crying? Or would she have been merrily running about 5 minutes after you left?

It is summer, children are meant to run around and get a bit hot/sweaty.

JenniferJo · 21/07/2014 18:54

I'm not surprised she was annoyed. You were very rude to even suggest taking your DC. It was a school event in a school day, I expect you'll get an unauthorised absence.

You wouldn't waltz into a classroom and take your DC home, neither should you have done today.

Sirzy · 21/07/2014 18:56

Don't want to go into too much detail about what the teacher said as don't want to be outed.

eh? How would that out you any more than the fact that

a) you have at least 4 child
b) child 4 is age 5
c) the whole class were on a trip to the park today
d) parents were allowed to attend
e) you left early and decided you could take your child even though it was still school time.

Pretty sure that would be enough to 'out' you if anyone knew you!

WhereTheWildlingsAre · 21/07/2014 18:56

Normal world, tick
School conformity, tick

Just waiting for 'MN royalty' or a reference to bullying or vipers and we are on a roll!

cardibach · 21/07/2014 18:57

Taking DC rather than trekking back to school is a bit different from buggering off 2 hours early, though, Nicki.

Anyway, it isn't the OP leaving that is the issue here, it is the rudeness or otherwise of the teacher. Nobody can tell whether YABU unless you tell us what she said or how, Boreoff. Your interpretation of 'rude and very annoyed' might not match mine. The reason she was annoyed may have been adequately explained in what she said - what were her reasons for annoyance? Does annoyed mean annoyed facial expression or shouting/screaming/swearing? Whether it was unprofessional or not hangs on those things, really.
Still think YABU to take the child out of school so early with no real reason, though - you should have predicted the distress. Why did you have to go? If it was so important, how come it was OK for your DC to go with you?

gordyslovesheep · 21/07/2014 18:57

Quip it isn't her call - she freely chose to put her child into formal education where attendance is required in school hours

home schooling is always an option if the OP doesn't like 'conformity' but if you choose something that has rules attached you are agreeing to abide by them

MrsWinnibago · 21/07/2014 18:57

BORE DID THEY KNOW YOU WERE ONLY STAYING FOR 4 HOURS?

Sorry for shouting but you don't seem to be responding to other people's questions.

vestandknickers · 21/07/2014 19:00

Child hot in summer? Shocker!!

That is hardly the same as a child being "in distress".

What are you going to do in the summer holidays if you can't stand to see her get a bit sweaty?

You were being totally unreasonable by the way. You did ask!

Deverethemuzzler · 21/07/2014 19:01

I think it would have been pretty hard for the teacher to deal with a class full of hot and bothered 5 year olds who have just seen one of their number go off with her mummy.

I suspect that could have been part of the reason she was so off with you.

If I know one of my DCs would be distressed by seeing me and then me leaving without them I don't attend. It is hard for small children to understand why they can't go home with their mum. Even if they understand its still hard for them to deal with.

Viviennemary · 21/07/2014 19:04

Bullies, Vipers the lot of you. Well I agreed with the OP so there. Grin