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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take child home early?

297 replies

Boreoff · 21/07/2014 18:25

Today is hot, my 5 year old had an all day trip to the local park and I also went along to help.

4 hours in, after lunch I had to leave and my dc wanted to come with me as dc was very hot (covered in sweat) I asked the teacher and she was very rude to me and not happy that we were leaving early and made this very clear infront of my dc.

I had to leave and took my dc with me as dc would have become upset as she was so hot a bothered.

AIBU to have taken her home with me?

OP posts:
CheckpointCharlie · 21/07/2014 21:44

No!!! Telling the teacher that she was taking her child.

So you all think if it's hot tomorrow, it's ok for you to come into my playground and tell me that you are taking your child home. It's not!

brdgrl · 21/07/2014 21:45

No, wildings, I equated an unequivocal trust in one set of professionals with a lack of confidence in your own judgement.
I would prefer (in fact, I would insist) on making decisions about my child's well-being based on a more complete set of data. Maybe you do feel that your child's teachers know better what all her needs are, than you do yourself. Again, I think that is quite sad.

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 21:47

I think the teacher should have been at least polite, yes I think it got her back up that I dared ask to take her rather then her actually going as it didn't effect anything.

No need to try and make a child feel bad.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 21/07/2014 21:47

Well I'd be blowed if I'd have waited for teachers to get hold of all the other oarebts who possibly could have been an hour or so away at work or whatever to take my child home.

That's not to say I don't care about what happens to anyone else, but as I said previously I've had heat stroke as has dd2.

My dds are pale, one is blonde and I burn very easily so hanging around with my kid in tears isnt an option. Given her eczema and the fact heat makes it worse, I would not wait when I could get her home and cooled of in a bath

brdgrl · 21/07/2014 21:47

So you all think if it's hot tomorrow, it's ok for you to come into my playground and tell me that you are taking your child home. It's not!

If I think that my child's health is in danger because of the heat tomorrow, I will be there to pick her up.

What exactly do you think gives you the right to stop me?

Insane.

NickiFury · 21/07/2014 21:48

But they're NOT in the playground and they're NOT in the middle of a typical school day with lessons etc. it's not the same thing at all.

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 21:48

They wouldn't have been outside running around all day though would they.

Some children cope with the heat others don't.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 21/07/2014 21:50

I can't speak for anyone else's school but there's plenty of shelter in dds play ground oh and easy access to water. Unlike on a trip where bags are left in coaches or carried by teachers or empty food and drink containers binned once done. And remaining water warm.

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 21:51

Other parents were coming and going btw they didn't stay the whole time

OP posts:
CheckpointCharlie · 21/07/2014 21:52

I see your point giles but honestly, trips out like this are meticulously planned and ratios are important. You cannot legally have below a certain number of adults per x number of children. Helpers on trips can't take themselves home if they feel like it as it would endanger other children.

And no, the teacher shouldn't have been rude but she would have been a bit annoyed at you telling her you were going.

Anyway, it's too not to be arguing! I think you were wrong, lots don't, I am a teacher, those who are saying it's ok are not.

It's all academic really. (Grin)

theendoftheendoftheend · 21/07/2014 21:54

YWNBU, I'd have 'asked' but only out of politeness. And I'm pretty certain DD's teacher would not have had a problem with it in those circumstances (because she's lovely and an amazing teacher!)

Mintyy · 21/07/2014 21:56

Where are you all where its so incredibly hot? I am in London and it is MUCH cooler and more pleasant today than it has been for the last week.

CheckpointCharlie · 21/07/2014 21:56

Sorry, FFS!!! It is not insane to expect you to ensure your child goes to school. It is not acceptable for you to take your child out of school unless they are ill or in exceptional circumstances and to do so will earn you a fine.

You may not opt in and put as you wish.

X post OP. That's different then if parents were coming and going. I still don't think you should expect to be able to take your child out of a school event because she got upset when you were leaving.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/07/2014 21:56

Perhaps you are better at recognising when the children in your care need to stop or cool off or eat/drink etc.

Which is why it's not so egging you have experiences.

I get that teachers would find it annoying. This isn't a dog at all teachers.

Clearly though this particular teacher pushed the kids too hard and op was there. Not her fault she was there. But no one sets out to be difficult so I'm inclined to believe the situation was actually pretty bad for the op to feel she had no choice but to take her dd home.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/07/2014 21:57

Not something

WowserBowser · 21/07/2014 21:59

Fucking hell. Who thought this was a good idea?

I think you did well to stick out 4 hours in a park! Especially with it being so hot.

CheckpointCharlie · 21/07/2014 22:02

Possibly giles . I have a five yr old dd and am super careful with all my little charges.
I read this as a child who was hot and bothered but more upset because she was tired and her mum was going, and so the OP told the teacher she was going, with her child. I don't think that is on, simply because of the wider implications.

YY if her child was ill, suffering, had heat stroke etc, and with the agreement of the teacher, who I am sure would have agreed if she thought the little girl was in danger, but not just because she was hot.

brdgrl · 21/07/2014 22:04

I am a teacher, those who are saying it's ok are not.
Do you think you are right because you are a teacher?

You have no say over whether I remove my child from a school activity. You can of course report that I have done so, but you have no right to prevent my doing so, and you actually have no decision-making power when it comes to my child's attendance (or lack thereof). You are a record-keeper of her attendance.

I also teach, checkpoint.

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 22:05

Surely it would have been worse for the teacher if I had left her with an upset child to deal with. And no I don't think she had any right to be so rude to me I'm not rude to her.

OP posts:
CheckpointCharlie · 21/07/2014 22:06

Fair enough brdgrl
I am assuming that people who think it's ok don't realise the huge responsibility teachers feel for their class and the implications if people took their children out whenever they wanted to (for whatever reason).

You are right though I couldn't stop you and that I am a record keeper of her attendance.

CheckpointCharlie · 21/07/2014 22:08

I agree that she shouldn't have been rude.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/07/2014 22:09

If dd1 was really red faced, dripping with sweat and crying then I'd know it was bad enough to Warrent it of that makes sense. It's not a reaction she would have that easily as she is pretty good at regulating herself (removing layers/finding shade/drinking plenty etc)

op hasn't said what her dd is like, but as I said before, I'm
Inclined to believe it was pretty bad tbh if other children were also very unhappy and her dd was as distressed as she's said.

As a teacher, I guess your mind is on all te children and the H&S and legalities etc that you have had to deal with. op os obviously going to think about her dd. Not saying others wouldn't have been given consideration but it would e pretty hard as a parent to walk away from your child on that state knowing there's still 2 hours to go

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 21/07/2014 22:10

I'd have taken my DD home. She's like a ghost so would have burnt to a crisp in that weather. I wouldn't care what the teacher thought though. She generally hasn't got a clue what she's doing.

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 22:12

But I feel the teacher should have cared about the welfare of my child, us leaving didn't effect anything.

I really don't feel the teachers personal annoyance at us leaving should have been shown so obviously.

I also think 4 hours running around a hot park is enough for anyone.

OP posts:
CheckpointCharlie · 21/07/2014 22:17

Yes it would be hard, I concede that.

Still, I would be very surprised if any of my parents announced that they were taking their child home from a school event and I am sure it would prompt a response from the school saying that this is not acceptable. If one parent did this, where would it stop? It's a dangerous precedent to set.

Yes I do understand that the ops dd was hot and stressed but fundamentally it is not ok to take chn out of a school day. Maybe not illegal and I understand why the OP did but still not ok.