Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take child home early?

297 replies

Boreoff · 21/07/2014 18:25

Today is hot, my 5 year old had an all day trip to the local park and I also went along to help.

4 hours in, after lunch I had to leave and my dc wanted to come with me as dc was very hot (covered in sweat) I asked the teacher and she was very rude to me and not happy that we were leaving early and made this very clear infront of my dc.

I had to leave and took my dc with me as dc would have become upset as she was so hot a bothered.

AIBU to have taken her home with me?

OP posts:
brdgrl · 21/07/2014 21:24

However, teachers at my kids school do understand about hot days in this country on days where there isn't a heat warning.

OP thought her child needed to leave. Good enough.

I will always put my own evaluation of my child's needs above those of an individual teacher. They provide input and information for me to add to the pool - I make the determination.

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 21:26

Stop wasting your time then. This thread could have changed my mind but it hasn't so what's the problem?

OP posts:
brdgrl · 21/07/2014 21:26

You wouldn't be able to zip into school and take her home if she was hot would you?
If my kid called me from school (let's say on the lunch break; I don't want my kid using a mobile in class!) to say that he or she was so hot that she felt poorly, to the point of tears, and I believed this to be true - I would probably collect them from school.

(Of course, my 5 year-old wouldn't have a mobile, but I hope you take my point.)

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/07/2014 21:26

but if you are arguing that is is ok to do so, why shouldn't every parent helper take their child how when they feel like it? And that would cock up the ratios

Oh fgs she didn't just get bored and thought "fuck this I can't be arsed, come on dd"

She took her visibly struggling and suffering dd home as it was all to frickin much for her.

What's so hard to understand about that?

brokenhearted55a · 21/07/2014 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 21:29

Unauthorised absence oh well! The school actively encourage you to take them early as and when it suits them.

OP posts:
WhereTheWildlingsAre · 21/07/2014 21:30

Luckily, my evaluation of my children's needs are that they need to stay in school with the professionals who are trained to educate them. So I have never had need to over ride the school and remove them.

Op felt differently. Clearly.

brdgrl · 21/07/2014 21:31

How sad Wildings. Do you have so little faith in your own judgement?

weeonion · 21/07/2014 21:31

Aaaaah - it seems the Norn Irish and Scots are wise with term ending at the end of June.... :-)

merrydebs · 21/07/2014 21:32

Don't see the problem really. It's nearly the end of term, wind down time, it's not as if she would be missing any vital curriculum work ! Tbh, would have thought the teachers be mildly relieved with one less little one to be head counted! Not at all unreasonable OP.

brdgrl · 21/07/2014 21:32

And get cheaper and less crowded holidays, too, weeonion. :-)

hiccupgirl · 21/07/2014 21:35

If this was a school day and a school trip that you were able to pop along to then YABU.

While your child is in school (whether on the actual premises or not) they are under the care of the teaching staff. You can't just take them home when you feel like it. What if all the parents decided to turn up and take their children away because they were a bit too hot. How is fair to the other children who might also be too hot that your DD was taken away but they had to stay?
I would def expect you to get an unauthorised absence for the afternoon session and it's a really bad example to set.

But clearly you think it was the right thing to do and no one is going to sway you from that on here.

cromwell44 · 21/07/2014 21:35

So you're just annoyed that the teacher didn't give you sufficient positive attention when you left. Maybe she/he was hot, tired, trying to keep tack of the children and who needed drinks and shade at the very end of a long term.
Perhaps just doing what she/he had to do for the good of the everyone, just like you were doing what you thought was best for your child.
Teacher in human behaviours shock!

NickiFury · 21/07/2014 21:35

You're wasting your OWN time Rhonda if you don't like the way it's going stop posting. OP hasn't got a lasso holding you here. I am always astounded by the demands for an OP to agree with the consensus when she doesn't have to at all and that's absolutely ok.

My dd has ASD and struggles badly with the heat, sensory issues. I would have taken her home in a second.

I actually think the teachers reaction was rather pathetic. It's fine to be annoyed about it but don't turn your face away and refuse to say goodbye properly. How silly.

Original poster
Boreoff · 21/07/2014 21:36

I'm glad I was there, she would have been in a right state if i hadn't. It was too hot and too long a day for all the children in my opinion. My child wasn't the only unhappy one.

OP posts:
CheckpointCharlie · 21/07/2014 21:37

giles my point still stands. If every parent helper took their child home when they felt like it from a school event it would adversely affect the ratio, which would endanger children's lives. I am sure you and others on here would be unhappy with very few adults looking after 30 hot tired children.

OP was your dd crying because she was ill, or because she was tired, hot and bothered and you were there about to leave? I expect she just didn't want you to go and got upset. (Not that I think you should have been leaving with or without her if you had volunteered to help.)

Honestly, I am really Shock at how many of you would just take your child out of school because you felt like it and do us see why it's wrong !?!?

If she was ill, of course, you could have spoken to the teacher and said that you were worried about her etc but it sounds like she was just hot and tired and apologies if this is not the case, but you are implying that you told the teacher you were taking her! which would get my back up I am afraid.

brdgrl · 21/07/2014 21:39

While your child is in school (whether on the actual premises or not) they are under the care of the teaching staff. You can't just take them home when you feel like it.

Well, yes, you actually can. And should, if you have reason to believe that it is in their best interest.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/07/2014 21:39

It's NOT because she sodding FELT LIKE IT!!!!

And quite frankly if enough children got sooo overheated and upset and all the parent helpers took their own kids home, then perhaps it's a clear sign that they should sodding LEAVE!!!

CheckpointCharlie · 21/07/2014 21:40

Sorry for typos. Endoftermitis.

WhereTheWildlingsAre · 21/07/2014 21:41

Not so! I have supreme confidence in my judgement of the quality of professionals at my children's school. I have taken time to know the school. They are wonderful people who care very much for the individual children in their classes. This has allowed us to work together in developing Independence in my children.

(Odd that you equate trust in professionals with a lack of personal confidence)

randomAXEofkindness · 21/07/2014 21:41

"but you are implying that you told the teacher you were taking her! which would get my back up I am afraid."

Parenting your own child op: how very dare you!

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/07/2014 21:43

Just because it wa a school trip and teachers were there, doesn't detract that maybe part of the arrangements weren't ideal and more care should have been taken. If others were that upset then clearly a mistake had been made, and teachers hadn't adapted the situation very well.

CheckpointCharlie · 21/07/2014 21:43

giles the OP said only that her dd wanted to come with her and that she was not. This doesn't tell me she needed to go, and therefore it was because the OP wanted to leave and her dd wanted to go with her! rather than needed to.

I do agree that if all the chn were getting upset it was time to go, but for all the group to leave, not just those with parents who were helping.

NickiFury · 21/07/2014 21:44

She didn't waltz in and take her child home when she felt like it. She was going home, she looked at her child and judged as a parent that her child was struggling. The child was not in a lesson, she's not missing any part of the curriculum, it was just two more hours of being miserable in the park. What on earth is the point of that? Confused

Imo a sensible teacher would have been fine with that. I know for a fact that they would have been at dd's school. I know this because after a day at our local park in similar circumstances I was driving past and saw dd's class in a line waiting to start walking back to school, there was about an hour of the day left, park five minutes from school. I stopped and asked if I could take her now and they were totally fine with it as they should have been.

namechangecozembarrasing · 21/07/2014 21:44

YANBU at all OP. The child was too hot, only 5, and not even missing out on any actual education. Of course you should have taken her home. Keeping 5 year olds out in the blazing heat all day is ridiculous. Our school decides to shut at 1pm at the end of every term!