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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to BBQ in my own garden?

327 replies

QueenofKelsingra · 21/07/2014 08:16

We live in a terraced house, 6ft ish fencing separating us from neighbours on each side. our garden is set lower down than the ones either side so our decking starts where theirs ends IYSWIM, so our decking areas are staggered, not all in a line. New neighbours moved in about 2 months ago.

We have a BBQ (charcoal) and unlike a lot of people, ours is not just for the odd family party. We cook lunch and dinner on it every weekend it is sunny and if DH is home in time we cook dinner during the week too through the summer.

last night we finished dinner and I rounded up the DC to go in for a bath. DH took them up and I popped back out to collect up toys. Neighbours didn't realise I had come back out and I overheard them complaining about how much we BBQ, that we are being really inconsiderate using it all the time and that if we keep it up they may have to have word with us. They must have had a visitor as they exclaimed ' they even do it during the week!' - visitor agreed that we were being inconsiderate.

TBH it never occurred to me that I shouldn't use the BBQ as often as weather allows it and I want to be prepared for the inevitable knock on the door to complain. So AIBU to BBQ as often as I like in my own back yard??

OP posts:
JenniferJo · 21/07/2014 08:19

YANBU but if you were my neighbour I'd hate it. The smell of BBQs makes me heave.

Your garden, though, so I'm sure everyone will say YANBU.

Namechangearoonie123 · 21/07/2014 08:19

Yanbu

Australian, but not unreasonable. Grin

HecatePropylaea · 21/07/2014 08:19

I don't know.
Is it smelly? Does it waft loads of smoke everywhere? Are you very noisy?

If no to all, then I don't understand why they give a shit.

Namechangearoonie123 · 21/07/2014 08:20

Can you barbecue at the end so the smell doesn't get into their house?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 21/07/2014 08:20

You can bbq as much as you want, it would never occur to me to even think this was an issue if my neighbours did this.

How strange if they do actually knock to complain.

Silvercatowner · 21/07/2014 08:20

As a BBQ smell hater I would not want to live next door to you. I would view it as akin to the person who smokes in their garden - the smell is equally gross, IMHO.

OddFodd · 21/07/2014 08:21

Well it's entirely your right and I love the smell of a BBQ. But you're basically stinking out the neighbourhood every time it's sunny. So I can see your neighbour's POV.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 21/07/2014 08:21

Depends. How much does the smoke blow over their garden? How often are they trying to dry washing without it smelling of BBQ smoke.

I love a BBQ, but I'd be annoyed with my hair, clothes, house and washing frequently smelling because you like to BBQ all the time.

Inselaffe · 21/07/2014 08:23

Agree with others - YABU if they never get a chance to dry laundry.

houseofstark · 21/07/2014 08:24

Also, do you warn them if they have washing out?

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 21/07/2014 08:25

Grin namechange quite like the idea of being aussie! the BBQ is a brick one so fixed in place on the decking - plus the bottom of the garden would be a long way from where the tables are!! very lonely for the chef!!

Hecate no noisier than anyone else with DC out in the garden. It doesn't smoke lots at all, but there is the wonderfully yummy BBQ smell that drifts around a bit I guess.

OP posts:
CaptChaos · 21/07/2014 08:25

Of course YANBU!

However, if you are going to BBQ as much as you say, then it might be worthwhile to invest in a really good gas BBQ. I say this as someone who has lived in countries where BBQing is an everyday thing as well. Less smoke for your whiny neighbours, more BBQing for you.

Everyone's a winner.

If they do come round and complain, why not offer them a lovely sausage Grin

pictish · 21/07/2014 08:25

Yanbu...it's your garden, so go for your life.
Personally, I find the smell of charcoal bbqs pretty revolting, but I would never think to complain to my own neighbours who use theirs a lot as well. It's their garden and they can do what they like in it.
In turn, they never complain about our occasional bonfires or the fact that we smoke at the back door.
Live and let live....something some posters on here need to do.

PunkAssMoFo · 21/07/2014 08:26

Yanbu, but you are being a little inconsiderate. My ex next door neighbour had a BBQ 'habit'. We live in semis, but theirs is not the one we were attached to, so not as close as you are. It did get annoying that we couldn't have the back door open to let air in the house on hot days because of the smell & I could never put my washing out to dry (my tumble dryer use & bills therefore went up). I love a good bbq, but I also don't want to smell of it every day.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/07/2014 08:27

Tbh it would get on my nerves too if you were permanently outside my window. But that's just because I'm an irritable cow and deeply U about many things.

If the BBQ is very smoky then yabu.

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 21/07/2014 08:28

re: laundry - I dry my own laundry out there and as long as I don't bring it in whilst the BBQ is on, there is no lingering smell on the clothes. I don't warn them no - but that would be me knocking every meal time over the weekend!!

OP posts:
curiousgeorgie · 21/07/2014 08:29

YANBU... It's your garden and you can BBQ in it whenever you like!

Do you think you're particularly noisy while out there? I don't think barbecuing would stop someone drying their washing, as equally they could dry it at the end of their garden.

We BBQ'd yesterday and neither me, or my house, smell of it.

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 21/07/2014 08:31

a gas BBQ is not a BBQ!! Shock that's just cooking outside and in no way the same thing!!

I get annoyed with the other neighbour's water feature drip drip dripping all day but would never complain to them about it!

OP posts:
JenniferJo · 21/07/2014 08:31

I'm lucky with my neighbours because they rarely BBQ and when they do it's at the bottom of the garden. I still have to close all my windows to try to keep the stench out, though, unpleasant if it's hot.

If I was your neighbour I'd probably plot an equally smell revenge. And you really shouldn't do it if they have washing out.

JustAShopGirl · 21/07/2014 08:31

it is the smell of meat cooking that gets me - burning fat euuughhhh....

maybe they are veggie and cannot stand the continual stench. I like to sit out in my garden on a sunny day - maybe they like that and are not getting the chance. If it is relentlessly every sunny day I can see why they are a bit peeved.

In your view, your right to barbecue seems to trump their right to enjoy a peaceful stink free garden EVERY time it is sunny.

PleaseJustShootMeNow · 21/07/2014 08:31

Is you neighbour one of the women from the Aunt Bessie's adverts? 'BBQing on a week night Mabel!'

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 21/07/2014 08:33

curiousgeorge we would be out in the garden anyway even if no BBQ - I have 3DC, they need to run around!! we are out there rain or shine 4 or 5 days out of 7 I guess so the noise level is irrelevant. i do try and make sure the DC dont shriek too much. they didn't mention the noise in their complaining!

OP posts:
Silvercatowner · 21/07/2014 08:33

I suspect BBQs are like farts. One's own are either smell-less or OK, other peoples are gross.

Infinity8 · 21/07/2014 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 21/07/2014 08:35

it is for 1 -1.5hrs at lunch and the same at dinner. we don't light it up at 9am and keep it going until sundown! it is usually half hour to heat up and half hour to cook - by the time cooking is finished the coals have died right down so no real smell to drift.

OP posts: