to BBQ in my own garden?

[QueenofKelsingra]

We live in a terraced house, 6ft ish fencing separating us from neighbours on each side. our garden is set lower down than the ones either side so our decking starts where theirs ends IYSWIM, so our decking areas are staggered, not all in a line. New neighbours moved in about 2 months ago.

We have a BBQ (charcoal) and unlike a lot of people, ours is not just for the odd family party. We cook lunch and dinner on it every weekend it is sunny and if DH is home in time we cook dinner during the week too through the summer.

last night we finished dinner and I rounded up the DC to go in for a bath. DH took them up and I popped back out to collect up toys. Neighbours didn't realise I had come back out and I overheard them complaining about how much we BBQ, that we are being really inconsiderate using it all the time and that if we keep it up they may have to have word with us. They must have had a visitor as they exclaimed ' they even do it during the week!' - visitor agreed that we were being inconsiderate.

TBH it never occurred to me that I shouldn't use the BBQ as often as weather allows it and I want to be prepared for the inevitable knock on the door to complain. So AIBU to BBQ as often as I like in my own back yard??

So Queenof...... have you decided you aren't being unreasonable???

as I said, I dry my laundry out there and it doesn't smell of smoke (and my laundry line is between the BBQ and their garden)

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, the only time I would knock is if they had loads of washing out next door as it could make it smell, we have no fences really anyway so our neighbours would jump over the little wall to join us most times. I really can't imagine being bothered about how often the neighbours BBQ'd but it would make me hungry smelling it

It would irritate to tbh, I struggle to get my clothes dry at best if times, therefore if the weather was nice I'd be wanting them on the line, only to have to bring them in because you were having a BBQ.
Not much if an issue if it's an occasional thing but by the sounds of it at the weekend the only meal you don't cook on it is breakfast, therefore does your neighbour only have a few hours a day to get their clothes dry on the line at the weekend.

Maybe it is a myth about the washing smelling then? my parents always did this so maybe that's why I do!

I can see how doing it at lunch and dinner would get a bit annoying for the neighbours, but then it is your garden.

All you can do is stick at it and maybe face the neighbour having words, or pick Sat lunch, Sun dinner or something.

No YANBU, but I'm a kiwi. I didn't know you are supposed to have a barbie only in the weekends.

I think they're just jealous I'd love to barbecue all the time but I can never be bothered to clean the spidery thing. Yesterday it took me a lot of bravery, a pressure washer and an hour...

OP do you 'smell' the BBQ as much as your neighbours though? If you are cooling on one most times at the weekend does the smell not linger on you and therefore you don't smell it as much as your non BBQing neighbours?

But maybe it's like CaptChaos says, we all use gas BBQs in NZ. So it doesn't smoke as much. I also have my lid down when cooking.

You are unusual to barbecue every night and twice every weekend.
Do you use lighters or fluid as these give off nasty smells. The smoke from the charcoal can waft into people houses and not everyone likes it, it can also cling to washing. Burnt fat can also smell nasty.
Not everyone eats meat so the yummy smell of sizzling burger may not be enjoyed by others.

I interested in what you cook on there for 2 meals. I bet it becomes boring.

It's your garden, but as a compromise perhaps wait til the evening rather than twice a day

I just find other people's smells intrusive. My NDN has a hot tub and the smell of chlorine often wafts over my garden. Gross.

cosy I don't think so. but to me it is a yummy smell! I can smell on a mile away and it makes me hungry! it actually didn't occur to me that people don't like the smell of BBQ - its like toast or bacon surely? just plain yummy!!

I have just gone and sniffed the laundry I did yesterday, cant even smell a hint of smoke/cooking meat on them.

I love barbeques but think you are being inconsiderate. You probably don't think your clothes smell because you are continually around the smell of barbeque. As others have said, if they want to use their garden they will be continually covered in smoke. You aren't showing any signs of trying to see their point of view though so this is probably pointless replying.

yabu and inconsiderate.

poor neighbours, it does sound like overkill, they can never sit in their gaden without sitting in your barbie stink.

We use disposable ones at the mo as we can't use our big bbq and they do make a lot of smoke/smell. I think once on a nice weekend, this is fine, I can see why they are fed up with all weekend and sometimes in the week. I don't feel guilty when I see the smoke wafting over my ndn garden occasionally, but if we did this all the time, I think it would affect their enjoyment of sitting outside in nice weather.

You do have a right to bbq every hour of the day in your own garden, but it is not considerate. It's a bit like using power tools, every now and again it's fine but persistently it is really unpleasant for others.

Yes op. You seem to have decided yanbu but did tut realise how many people loathe the smell of BBQ? I admit I didn't.

I don't loathe the smell I'd just be annoyed at you bring permanently "there" iyswim

YANBU. I get that this is a small island with lots of people on it, so pretending everyone else isn't there is a coping strategy. But honestly. Anyone who moves into a terraced house has to expect they will hear (and in this case smell) their neighbours daily. Gardens are not just for looking at and it's not like you have a huge pile of manure for compost or something similarly offensive.

Why don't you go round to the neighbours and say you happened to overhear them and if they could tell you what it is that bothers them, perhaps a compromise could be reached.

you could be willing to meet them halfway, if you wanted? BBQ fewer meals, perhaps?

Some of us think the smell of bacon cooking processed pig is repugnant. Not everyone eats meat.

In the interests of good neighbourly relations, I mean.

Sometimes it's nice to give way a little.

we don't do it every night, sorry - I meant we are out in the garden almost every day relating to whether we were being noisy. we BBQ lunch and dinner sat and sun and then maybe 1 night a week if DH is home in time - not every week though.

Icansee - lamb and beef burgers, various varieties of sausage, chicken breast and thigh, lamb steak, pork steak, salmon (rarely and I admit this one does smell more), vegetable kebabs, ribs, chops.....basically any sort of meat you would usually cook inside we do on the BBQ.

It's only yummy as a smell if you like to eat meat and are about to have the bbq! It's like playing music outside, fun if it is your house, not so fun if it is inflicted on you from next door. I wouldn't mind if my ndn had a bbq on a Sat night and cranked up the tunes, in fact one of them does and they stay up late singing along, but they only do it once a week, if they did this most nights, I would be finding it too much.