to BBQ in my own garden?

[QueenofKelsingra]

We live in a terraced house, 6ft ish fencing separating us from neighbours on each side. our garden is set lower down than the ones either side so our decking starts where theirs ends IYSWIM, so our decking areas are staggered, not all in a line. New neighbours moved in about 2 months ago.

We have a BBQ (charcoal) and unlike a lot of people, ours is not just for the odd family party. We cook lunch and dinner on it every weekend it is sunny and if DH is home in time we cook dinner during the week too through the summer.

last night we finished dinner and I rounded up the DC to go in for a bath. DH took them up and I popped back out to collect up toys. Neighbours didn't realise I had come back out and I overheard them complaining about how much we BBQ, that we are being really inconsiderate using it all the time and that if we keep it up they may have to have word with us. They must have had a visitor as they exclaimed ' they even do it during the week!' - visitor agreed that we were being inconsiderate.

TBH it never occurred to me that I shouldn't use the BBQ as often as weather allows it and I want to be prepared for the inevitable knock on the door to complain. So AIBU to BBQ as often as I like in my own back yard??

my neighbour would bbq every day and it was annoying as the smoke would come in the house and give me headaches. they are pretty unsociable in small terraced house gardens imo

But in your OP you said you cooked lunch and dinner on it every weekend.....

This is one of those 'am I' 'yes' 'no I'm not' threads.

i think you are being inconsiderate - and i would hate to live next door to you.

Actually I do think your clothes will smell. We have large gardens in NZ and we never have washing close to the BBQ. My in laws smoke and they can't smell it on their clothes but others can.

I haven't considered the laundry issue either, because I have them drying in the conservatory ...

I think maybe you should consider moving down under

"it actually didn't occur to me that people don't like the smell of BBQ - its like toast or bacon surely? just plain yummy!!"

"yummy"? I haven't heard that from an adult in years.

So you've never heard of vegetarians or vegans then?

Not everyone enjoys the smell or concept of searing animal flesh.

whereisshe that's basically how I feel. part of living in a terrace is that you will be in close proximity to your neighbours.

bitoutofpractice no, it hadn't occurred to me that people may not like it. by 'permamently there' do you mean I shouldn't be out in my garden everyday? (regardless of the BBQ issue!)

I accept that if you don't like the smell it would be annoying and therefore it may be slightly inconsiderate to do it every meal over the weekend.

Unreasonable? No
Inconsiderate? Most definitely, I wouldn't like it at all, very smelly & I don't believe your washing doesn't smell.

OP, YABU. It's all about compromise. Once in a while those who can't abide the smell, the spoiling of their use of their own gardens and the detriment to their washing will have to put up with it while once in a while you might have to put up with their garden party or kids shrieking out there.

Carrying out an action which offends the neighbors as regularly as you describe it is bound to cause comment.

silver we don't BBQ one night of mon-fri every week, maybe one week in three. if it is sunny we do BBQ sat and sun lunch and dinner every week - clear?

they are not vegetarians, they have BBQ'd on occasion themselves and I have run into them in the butchers in town.

onelittle I wish, would love to!!

maybe i'll try and bring it up next time I see them and find out what the issue is.

Sorry, but you're my idea of a nightmare neighbour.

My neighbours used to barbecue every day. Starting at 11.30 prompt.

Every day I'd have to keep an eye on the clock, get the washing in, close the windows and miss two hours of the day outside.

Completely clear, Queenof.

You are being unreasonable. Clear?

Queen so basically you only do the bbq when the weather is nice. But that's the time they also want to sit outside and not smell your bbq!

YABU. It'd really piss me off if everytime I had my patio doors open or drying washing my house and clothes reeked of BBQ, as much as I like a BBQ myself! Twice a day every day is too much when it effects other people.

My neighbours (and their many visitors) spend a lot of time in their garden, and their patio is underneath my bedroom window. That's not a problem. They also have a barbecue, which I loathe. Fortunately they only use it every ten days or so in the summer, so the stench feels temporary and therefore I can tolerate having to keep the windows shut now and again. Virtually every meal on sunny weekends, plus a good many in the week, and I'd be vomiting out of the window so that they could share the joy.

my point is that there is a dog that barks on and off all day, there is a water feature that drips all day, there is numerous people using lawnmowers/hedge trimmers and other garden machinery every weekend, there are parties on and off through the summer, there are countless cats who come and crap all over my garden and at no point has it ever entered my head to complain - these are things that are part of living where we do and you just learn to live with them. it would never enter my head to complain about someone using their garden in what is generally considered reasonable ways.

if they started all day and night rave parties or had bonfires going all day every day then I would complain. couple of hours of music on the weekend - fine. post gardening bonfire once in a while - fine. I am talking about 2-3 hours total out of the day.

I think you have a right to do what you want to and what is legal in your own back garden.

On the other hand, consider that your neighbours may want to dry their clothes outside on the line sometimes, or that your BBQ smoke might be blowing into their open windows (it's hot so they will reasonably want them open.) Charcoal smoke is a known carcinogen. Charcoal hearths have been illegal in most cities for quite some time.

So, I'd consider siting the BBQ somewhere else in my garden, if I could. Somewhere that the smoke would dissipate a bit before blowing into a next door neighbour's open windows etc.

I'm veggie, and bacon no longer smells 'yummy' (nor does toast, IMO). Constant meat-cooking smells would wind me off the clock.

And don't kid yourself, of course your washing (and, by extension, your neighbours') smells. You are just desensitised to it.

One BBQ a weekend is to be expected from one's neighbours. One BBQ every five hours is not. But anyway, you're not listening, so not sure what the point of further replies is.

The washing wouldn't be a problem if everyone used their tumble driers

Our neighbours bbq most weekends, even a breakfast sometimes, I'm a bit

I think YABU and I'm surprised at the number of people who think you aren't.

I think BBQ smells are yummy too but that wouldn't mean I necessarily want my garden to smell of BBQ every mealtime. I think curry smells yummy too but I wouldn't want to live next door to a takeaway.

I live in a terrace as well and it's just basic neighbourliness to consider how what you might be doing in your own house/garden affects other people.

The problem with BBQ'ing is it's not 'your garden, your rulz' as the smoke and smell goes into your nieghbours gardens...

I BBQ several times a week year around even in the rain and snow (and I'm not a SA ). However, I have a big garden and a gas BBQ so the smell won't be half as bad as if I had a small garden and a charcoal BBQ.

OP. I would definitely find your BBQ'ing really irritating but I am am not sure that you are being unreasonable either. . Perhaps,you could try not to have a BBQ when you know they are out there quite so much. The other thing is to cook the food quicker. I don't know what you are cooking for 30mins but I cook things a lot faster than that. and my BBQ food is amazing

I would have to bring washing in if you were BBQ'ing. I would definitely be able to smell it on my laundry.

They obviously are bothered by it, and you don't seem to quite get that not everyone likes BBQs.

I mean there. On your decking. Close enough that I can hear you talking and you can hear me. If it was every single mealtime it would get right on my pip because it would put me off sitting on my decking. But I admit that's unreasonable and is just one of those things in a terrace.

Yanbu but i would get fed up smelling BBQ so often because i love them! seriously though, you aren't doing anything wrong, so enjoy!

silver I do believe that the responses on the thread would indicate that I am being inconsiderate but not unreasonable.

and you will note that I have acknowledged that twice a day at the weekend could be inconsiderate, depending on why they have a problem.

I will speak to them about it. just out of interest if the reason they have a problem is the noise of a family of 5 being out in their garden all weekend - am I supposed to stay inside?