to BBQ in my own garden?

[QueenofKelsingra]

We live in a terraced house, 6ft ish fencing separating us from neighbours on each side. our garden is set lower down than the ones either side so our decking starts where theirs ends IYSWIM, so our decking areas are staggered, not all in a line. New neighbours moved in about 2 months ago.

We have a BBQ (charcoal) and unlike a lot of people, ours is not just for the odd family party. We cook lunch and dinner on it every weekend it is sunny and if DH is home in time we cook dinner during the week too through the summer.

last night we finished dinner and I rounded up the DC to go in for a bath. DH took them up and I popped back out to collect up toys. Neighbours didn't realise I had come back out and I overheard them complaining about how much we BBQ, that we are being really inconsiderate using it all the time and that if we keep it up they may have to have word with us. They must have had a visitor as they exclaimed ' they even do it during the week!' - visitor agreed that we were being inconsiderate.

TBH it never occurred to me that I shouldn't use the BBQ as often as weather allows it and I want to be prepared for the inevitable knock on the door to complain. So AIBU to BBQ as often as I like in my own back yard??

I can't understand how someone can eat on BBQ all weekend and some week nights. I love a good barbie now and then but isn't that virtually the same as me having lasagna for lunch then spag bol for tea every day? It's so similar. Don't you get bored?

That aside- obviously it's your garden you can do as you wish but I can see why this would also drive some people crazy and make them hate you. Maybe go round and have a chat and let them know you want to BBQ all the time so what could be done to make them happier. They may just want 10 min warning so they can get their washing in or maybe just one meal off every now and then but let them know when so they can plan to enjoy their garden??

The problem is the BBQ, not the noise, as your neighbours stated in their conversation. Stop trying to mitigate the horror!

whereisshe that's basically how I feel. part of living in a terrace is that you will be in close proximity to your neighbours.

But that works both ways. You seem to be saying 'They have to put up with whatever inconsiderate shit we do as we live in a terrace' instead of thinking- 'We live in a terrace, so have to think of others and not be so inconsiderate'.

I think YABU to BBQ as much as you do, I suspect it has become more of an issue this year because of the prolonged spell of fine weather.

bitoutofpractise - well yes we can all hear each other if we were listening but generally I just tune it out, one of those noises that just doesn't register - like traffic noise once you're used to it you don't really hear it. but both neighbours have children so I guess none of us expects 'peace and quite' outside!

Those neighbors may not be vegetarian or vegan (although others in the neighborhood might). I was making that point to the person who claimed the smell of searing animal flesh is "yummy" to everyone.

The reason why the smell is so hideous and offensive to the neighbors isn't the point. The odor is offensive to them. That's the issue. The smell drifts and hangs in the air for ages afterwards.

Would it make a difference to you what neighbor's reason for their objections about the smell are, OP?

Yes you are being inconsiderate.

I'm not a veggitarian, but I still dislike the smell of BBQs. It's burning flash fgs, can't you understand how annoying that would be twice a day, every weekend.

Either move your BBQ down to the end of the garden, away form the houses, or stop doing it so often.

I'd also say- have you heard that eating so much bbqed meat is not good for you or your children. It has been linked to cancer because the meat is cooked at such high temperatures. In moderation it is fine, but if you're eating it 5x per week that isn't in moderation.

The issue has to be the smell. BBQ's do smell a lot and if your not eating at the end of it then it's not a pleasant smell.

While you are not being unreasonable to use your garden as you wish. You now have a choice, carry on pleasing yourselves or be considerate neighbours and barbecue less.

I know which I would do.

Yabu for using a charcoal BBQ - you would not be welcome down under with that sort of carry on plus it must be terrible for your health standing near those carcinogens so often. Gas is the way forward (plus it would give you an extra hr+ free time as you just turn it on and it's ready).

We had a charcoal BBQ growing up but had a massive garden & a detached house - I remember when the wind was growing it used to go EVERYWHERE and reek. So I think it's a bit inconsiderate, but as you're clearly not going to change anything I wouldn't dwell on it too much - not the crime of the century.

Sory for typos!!

I'm meant flesh not flash

You don't ask them about what to have for dinner each night so why are you bothered now?

Yanbu- at all!!! Too many people care about offending or not offending others. It's a downfall to living in a terrance house. They should deal with it. You're building memories for your family.

God, of course you aren't being unreasonable. I'm laughing. 'Stench'? It's the smell of food cooking. People seriously need to get a grip. I live in a terraced house with lots of neighbours that BBQ, I've never had to bring my washing in and shut windows any more than I do when my next door neighbour makes his infamous jalfrezi.

I think it will be the smell and smoke that is the problem not the noise.

Out of curiosity what an earth do you BBQ! I BBQ a LOT but I have never bbq'ed twice in one day.

Also, isn't the charcoal expensive

Are you able to reduce the time? Do you keep a lid on the BBQ? I do and I consider myself a pro

I hate the smell of bbq's. But also don't like the smell of toast or bacon either.
But anyway. The smell on clothes is there. Just you are not smelling it because its a smell you are used to. Same with how you (general) can not smell your house smells. Or how the smell of your
Perfume disappears during the day.
But it's there.

To you its fine. To others not so. Everyone has the right to enjoy their own space and you are interfering with your neighbours.

Also think your timings are off if you are cooking chicken legs, these take more than 30 minutes on the BBQ.

Queen you seem determined to consider yourself in the right. No-one has said anything about children playing outside. This is reasonable and normal, as is using power tools/mowing lawn occasionally. But your bbq habit is not the norm and not occasional, it's pretty much all the time on weekends (the smell doesn't just disappear the moment you stop cooking) and in the week. I live in a terrace, people have bbq's, no-one has them that frequently.

You also seem resistant to considering some of the other options- getting a different bbq (because you like the charcoal taste), siting it further away from the house (presumably because it is convenient and more sociable for you) dropping the frequency- so basically what you want is to carry on and for your neighbours not to mention it. This won't happen, they do find it annoying and I would too, although I love the odd barbie myself.

I know when I light up our bbq on a Sat lunch that our neighbours are affected, but figure once a week (or less) it's no biggie and we get on well with them. You seem to be struggling with the idea they are affected- and even imagine they like the smell! Come on, that's not realistic, living together is all about tolerance, you are asking them to be very tolerant of something that clearly affects their enjoyment of hot weather and their own garden. Just accept that and decide whether to bbq or not.

The only issue that id have with what the OP is doing is that the smell would make me want a bbq every day. I live in a row of terraces. Stuff like this is just par for the course tbh.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

BBQ {grin}

Another Aussie here ;)

Am in agreement with the YABU people, particularly the inconsiderate aspect. Yes, it's your garden. Yes, barking dogs, water features etc can be irritating, but they aren't as pointedly inconsiderate as your incessant BBQing. Once a day at w/e I could just about tolerate. Lunch and dinner is too much. Seems a bit perverse to be honest. Surely one pile of meat per day is plenty, and I'm not a veggie or BBQ hater. It's just too much.

I agree that lunch and dinner on both a Saturday and a Sunday would piss me off and I would be at your door having a whinges I am afraid. My garden doesn't get a lot of breeze so washing takes an age to dry on the line so having to take it in at lunchtime would annoy me.

I think you need to stop the lunchtime bbqs but as for dinner both nights and once in a week is perfectly acceptable imo.

"They should deal with it. You're building memories for your family."

Well, what do you know! Self-entitlement is alive and kicking and coming soon to a garden near you!

That's cool if you want one of those memories to be mommy and daddy having a slanging match with the neighbor in the back garden and the neighbor giving the whole family the bird every time she saw your family thereafter!

thatasnice as listed upthread: lamb and beef burgers, various varieties of sausage, chicken breast and thigh, lamb steak, pork steak, salmon (rarely and I admit this one does smell more), vegetable kebabs, ribs, chops.....basically any sort of meat you would usually cook inside we do on the BBQ.

yes we cook with the lid down, we also heat the coals with a funnel/chimney thing which reduced the time and the smoke.

angel - gas BBQ isn't BBQ, its just cooking outside! doesn't taste as good! (IMO obviously!)

Glad I don't live next to you! I love a BBQ but completely unrealistic to say it is smoke free and the smoke does affect laundry etc . The frequency of yr BBQ ing is unusual and would pee me off

Technically YANBU to use your garden as you like but I'd hate to be your neighbour as:

I'd never be able to have all my windows open

Never be able to peg my washing out as BBQ stench would be all over it and my electric bill would rise thanks yo using the tumble dryer unnecessarily

I'd find you quite inconsiderate too

"'Stench'? It's the smell of food cooking."

Not necessarily so if you're a Muslim, a vegan, a Jew or a vegetarian, among others.

The smell of pork, for example, on the barbeque? No, it's not the smell of food cooking. It's the stench of animal flesh burning. Don't kid yourself otherwise.

we bbq all year around about three times a week, in the dark, snow, rain

ne'er a complaint

lol at animal flesh burning

TASTY