to feel sad about people's perception of having sons.

[wanderingcloud]

A random conversation in the staffroom at work, general chit chat about children. The mother of two daughters who go to the same nursery as my sons said "I'm sure your boys are lovely but I'm SO glad I have girls! Boys are just horrid!" then other mum's of girls started chiming in with comments about how generally noisy/smelly/disgusting/horrible boys are and what a nightmare they must be. I laughed it off, my boys can be a handful. What under 3yr old isn't occasionally noisy and dirty? However, watching my two sons sitting quietly looking at books together this morning, I'm filled with sadness that people actually perceive them in such a negative way.

People like this are pathetic. They don't have the capacity to see personality, only gender.

My DS is sweet, kind, compliant etc. dd1 is boisterous, fearless, usually covered in mud… gender means nothing.

I don't get this. I have 2 boys and a girl (thankfully, the girl is in the middle, so I don't get any comments about trying for a girl) - they are just my lovely dc and I barely think about them in terms of gender at all. I think this attitude is especially horrible from mothers who have boys - I can forgive people who just have girls, as they have no idea how wonderful boys are - they only have their stupid misconceptions.

I have both, my dd3 attempted to climb out a window at 3years old was forever climbing on things and I couldn't dress her until we were walking out the front door or else she would be black lol whereas my son would be quite happy sitting in his room playing a computer game or meeting friends for football.

When people ask I tell them the truth that my boys are easier than my girls, if they have and argument 10 mins later its done and they are talking about something else, if my girls have an argument 10 weeks later they still bring it up

I had this OP, when mine were little.

Especially with a good friend who has only girls (I only boys) I think she used to pity me a bit.

But 9 yrs later the tables have turned, she now thinks girls are MUCH harder and envies my easy going relationship with my boys...

Maybe when they are teens she will start feeling sorry for me again

I sometimes wonder if mums of boys can be slightly guilty of downplaying how wonderful it can be to have boys. I think when I talk to other mums of boys we can complain how messy/silly/off beat they are, but scratch the surface and we love it.

I'm a mother of a son and this attitude upsets me too.

I always worry when I see comments along the lines of 'I want a girl so I have someone to go shopping and to the health spa . . . ' and so on.

I wonder what these little girls will turn out like. What if they end up not being traditional girly girls. What if they hate shopping and the health spa?

I have 2 girls. tbh the thing that gets me is how desperate people always are to tell me how different boys and girls are. From their experience of one of each . My 2 girls are also very different! !!!

Very often even if they do want to go shopping and health spas etc they don't want to go with their mother! I love my mother to bits, but I do those things with friends.

It generally means that people are very hidebound in their expectations of gender- a lot are in for a shock!

Wally I think that's the best thing I've ever read on here. Brilliant.

I have the hallowed one of each and the amount of times I've been told 'oh well done' like I had any fucking say in it!
And 'oh you can stop now' Ehm, I'll decide thank you very much.

People just talk shite really. I really hope I get anti-boy comments now......so I can copy wallys line verbatim.

Isn't there a word for smug mothers of daughters?!

As a daughter I can't think of anything worse than a mother who has expectations of what you will be like and wanting a best friend in later life.

Dizzy it's a SMOG - smug mother of girls

I have 3 boys and have heard various idiotic negative things said about boys.

Having boys, or more specifically more than one boy, is seen as some sort of booby prize.

There is a lot of negativity about boys, it is accepted and perpetuated by too many people.

Whilst I completely agree with you OP i find it sad on these threads when often parents who have one or more of each try to counter the argument by telling us DS is gentle, kind, loving, sensitive, generally an angel and DD is a holy terror, tantrum throwing little madam.

Isn't the point of this to try to not label one sex better than the other. In my experience I've met noisy boys, quiet boys, stroppy girls, sweet girls. By (quite rightly) making the point that boys are lovely, you don't have to tarnish girls in your argument.

The point is, is that children are all different and should all be equally appreciated. No need to put your DDs down to prove anything/win the argument

Prepares for the flaming....

YANBU - Children are just children at the end of the day :) Most people just love their own children equally no matter what gender they are.

It's definitely not just 'a Mn thing'. Both my SILs commiserated with me when I had a boy for what they knew would be my only child. Both of them had two boys and then a girl, and are quite open about the fact they kept going till they had girls. (Both girls are spoilt creatures, while their four older brothers are delightful - nothing at all to do with their sex, but with their mothers' ideas about the 'special relationship' between mother and daughter, which in this case meant massive 'girlie' over-indulgence.

And since I've been living in the country, I've done the round of all the local toddler groups, and have heard this kind of remark (made in general, not aimed at me) more often than I can remember. It makes me very impatient, and I tend to pull people up on it, just as I would if men were banging on about birds not being able to park/map read/whatever.

Fortunately the two toddler ringleaders locally are two impressively stroppy, noisy, obstreperous, grubby little girls, so it's not hard to point out the varieties of behaviour within each sex.

(My midwife also continually made remarks about my baby not moving much 'because boys are lazy'. After a while I said 'Gosh, really? There are studies that show male foetuses move less?' and she had to admit she was just talking out of her arse.)

If only that were true talcalm currently get kicked in the ribs several times a day by ds2!

Buttonboo I agree, even on this thread people have said "I'd rather have boys because they're brave/physical/lively, and girls are bitchy/hormonal"

Cut out the stereotypes, and maybe we'll find children develop personalities of their own rather than conforming to adults expectations.

Wally, brilliant!

Rounded buttocks. That's pretty insulting that you'd judge my girls to be like that without having even met them.

I have two DSs (grown up now). I used to get lots of comments like this from my SIL who had two girls of similar ages to my DSs. I used to ignore it as I knew her DH wanted a son. However, one day my DS heard her running down boys so I jumped in and said my two are not like that and I would hate to have whiney like drama queens.

I was very ashamed of myself for lowering myself to her standard and it is not what I think of girls at all :(

I have two girls and a boy. The boy is by far the quietest of the 3.

I have 2 boys and due 3rd son in a few weeks. When ds1 nnursery manager asked me what I was having I said baby boy and she said 'ooo thats bad luck' bitch!! If ds wasnt with me I would have gave her a bit of am ear full!

Please excuse the typos having breakfast at same time

Don't let it bother you.

If I had a quid for every ridiculous view I've ever been forced to sit and listen to, I'd have enough money to build a giant rocket, round up all the idiots and fire them into the sun.