to feel sad about people's perception of having sons.

[wanderingcloud]

A random conversation in the staffroom at work, general chit chat about children. The mother of two daughters who go to the same nursery as my sons said "I'm sure your boys are lovely but I'm SO glad I have girls! Boys are just horrid!" then other mum's of girls started chiming in with comments about how generally noisy/smelly/disgusting/horrible boys are and what a nightmare they must be. I laughed it off, my boys can be a handful. What under 3yr old isn't occasionally noisy and dirty? However, watching my two sons sitting quietly looking at books together this morning, I'm filled with sadness that people actually perceive them in such a negative way.

Yes to the great company as well Still

Yes OP. I had two boys then a girl.....what an achievement. People were convinced I only got pregnant to have a girl......I absolutely didn't.

You only have to look at the general attitude towards MILs and men/boys in general on MN. Depressing.

My DS is exactly what your friends would think of a "typical" boy. He is wild, loud, has bounds of energy and spends about 80% of his time covered in some sort of muck, he ruins his clothes with rough play and mainly plays with cars and swords.

He is also affectionate, caring, patient, funny, clever and independent. I wouldn't change him for the world.

I think it is just down to individuals! I have a mix so experience it all, I have a friend with 3 girls who desperately wanted a boy, another friend with 3 boys who wanted a girl! But people are generally comfortable with what they know so see other things as alien and horrible-hence mums of girls thinking boys are loud and rough and dirty etc. But tbf-a lot of boys are like this, however they have fab and useful traits associated with this-are generally not squeamish, don't have bitchy fall outs with friends, are more brave physically etc. Girls can be prissy and fussy, bitchy and dramatic etc. But again all down to individual kids! Just enjoy what and who you have and ignore those mums with their closed minds!

don't worry about it fgs.

i know a woman with one child and she sometimes says how glad she is that her one child is a girl. that's her experience and her prerogative to feel that way i guess, even though i have one of each and from my perspective, i feel like she is missing the information required to really be so certain.

People like to put others in boxes and label them. I think it might make them feel better. I have been misunderstood all my life!

I would walk away when people start spouting this sort of crap. Are they so dull they don't have anything else to say?

Urgh, I hate that attitude. I have a DS and he is a dream, my PFB and the most laid back toddler I have ever met. Its unbelievable to think that when I was pregnant I was dreading having to 'deal with' a boy because I only ever heard negatives.

I don't know why people think that boys are such hard work, surely all children are different at different stages? I imagine my DS will be very energetic and hard work when he's bigger but I'd take that any day over a stoppy teenage girl. My mum has always said that my sister and I were hard work especially me and my high needs yet we were planned. My DB was a surprise and was the easiest out of all of us. I don't know if that was down to gender or down to the fact that by DC3 my mother was so fried that she just got on with it.

I am hoping that my next baby is also a boy, all of the baby girls I know didn't sleep and were screaming horrors for their parents. I'm not seriously thinking that this was because they are girls of course but I don't want to take any chances!

Is it just me that actually finds the statements made in the original op hard to believe?
I have boys and all I have ever had said to me is 'do you wish you had a girl'?
I am struggling to think of one person who would actually say boys are horrid and smelly?
Actually my 7 year old niece would. Were these colleagues 7 and under?

I think I'm carrying a girl this time. When my mum's friend heard me say that she said 'oh is that just wishful thinking?'

Two boys, one girl here. They're all quite revolting at times.

Of course, at other times they're all pretty wonderful.

This same old thread keeps on coming and coming.

Mothers generally love their babies unconditionally, pink or blue, healthy or not, as they should. Why do people keep on posting all this rubbish about boys being horrid and hard work and girls being bitchy and spiteful; it is so depressing!

In fact, how your DC turn out will be, in part at least, a reflection of your own parenting skills.

I actually find it incredibly offensive! It's not the sex of the child, it's how you bring them up and the rules/discipline you implement.

If a child wants to roll around in the mud and then trample through the house screaming and knocking stuff about, they'll do it anyway regardless of their sex.

Ignorant at best, insulting and sexist at worst.

I have had a few comments from people without children who have heard the age and sex of my child (boy, 3.5) and they've winced and gone 'oooohhh, bit of a handful then?!'

Erm, no actually. He's calm and thoughtful.

Sounds like little boys are made of sticks and stones and puppy dogs tails .

YANBU

I have several friends, though, that had boys and were 'desperate for girls'. When they had their girls, they had princess girly days and pink stuff galore. I heard so much negatives about boys, from friends with boys and family, that I became a SMOG and would 'feel sorry' for people with just boys and didn't see the pleasure in having one. I am deeply ashamed now as I went on to have my own boys and my eyes were opened to have fabulous they are, every bit as delightful as girls and I appreciate other people's boys now too. So in cases of ignorance (they don't have boys of their own) i think it is forgivable but I don't get it if they do have boys.

When I was pregnant with DS so many people said "never mind" when they knew I was having a boy. The midwife was just as bad, when he wasn't moving much he was a 'lazy boy' and I hear the same attitude from teachers and teaching assistants.

MexicanSpringtime I think you mean slugs and snails!

Either way why the hell does anyone need to put a damper on the news like that, whichever the gender of the baby?

Ha Frog, you don't have to believe me but it was genuinely what this woman said. Perhaps she walked away thinking "why did I say that? I sounded like a right dick" but fact remains, it was said and the follow up comments came thick and fast. Someone mentioned their 3 nephews and how they were always "destroying everything in their path" and "little horrors" so perhaps they weren't meaning to generalise all boys but just these particular boys. As a group from "team pink" they seemed to have some pretty entrenched negative stereotypes of boys and a couple gave me the "Only boys? Poor you!" face along with it.

I'm 22 weeks pregnant and we didn't find out the gender at the 20 week scan. I don't care what I'm having, I'm just so happy to be having a baby at all after struggling to get pregnant, and as long as it's healthy I have no preference whatsoever. I vaguely think it's a girl because of nub theory etc but find myself referring to "he" and "him" all the time, but either way I am not remotely bothered.

People don't seem to believe me though and think we must have a preference. I just don't get it.

I've got 2 boys, well young men now.

I worked as a TA for a while, the teacher said to me "you'll never find a boy who likes reading or writing!". DS1 devours books and that year had won the County young writer of the year!

DS1(19.5) has just left home to do Army basic training, he phoned last night, we were chatting for well over an hour.

DS2(17.5) tells everyone I'm his best friend. We do so much together and are incredibly close. He says that when I am old I am living with him!

Neither were really dirty, smelly boys. They just played and were children. I would not have changed them for the world.

TheFairyCaravan that is lovely. I sincerely hope I do as good a job bringing up my two boys as you have :)

I have never heard any of this negativity either.

In fact people seem to want to congratulate me on having four boys.

I am not going to deny that these stereotypes exist though, I am certain they do.

I think there are just as many people who are willing to be negative about girls as they are about boys.

I have two girls, and I loved doing all the girly, princessy stuff when they were little, now aged 23 and 21 we're still incredibly close,

That's got nothing to do with them being girls, it's have been the same had they been boys, your children are your children.

I was at a playgroup years ago with my DDs and a friend who has 3 boys of similar ages to my girls. One very smug woman who had 3 girls, someone who we'd never seen before, came up to us and just said "Oh you're so very lucky to have girls, girls are the very best, and boys are just horrible"

As if that wasn't bad enough she went on to say that she felt sorry for the mums of any boys, as they "weren't proper mums" if they only had boys

My friend are me were like this

We never saw her again, but we couldn't believe what she'd said.

I think about her from time to time, and wonder how life panned out for her.

I wonder if I might feel differently if I had girls, but I find that there is a lot of male bashing in the media too. Everything is focussed on equality for girls/woman but I think it's sometimes to the detriment of boys - they seem to get a raw deal a lot of the time.

I am not anti feminist either, but it seems that we don't treat people as people. They are either women (positive) or men (negative). It makes me really sad that neither gender seem to be praised for having traditionally male traits.

As I say, I may be seeing this differently because I have boys rather than girls, but I am female myself, so not totally oblivious to the female perspective.

I'm another who always wanted boys so I am not disappointed and I also know loads of lovely girls who I'd be glad to call my daughters so I know I would have loved a girl just the same as I love my boys.