to feel sad about people's perception of having sons.

[wanderingcloud]

A random conversation in the staffroom at work, general chit chat about children. The mother of two daughters who go to the same nursery as my sons said "I'm sure your boys are lovely but I'm SO glad I have girls! Boys are just horrid!" then other mum's of girls started chiming in with comments about how generally noisy/smelly/disgusting/horrible boys are and what a nightmare they must be. I laughed it off, my boys can be a handful. What under 3yr old isn't occasionally noisy and dirty? However, watching my two sons sitting quietly looking at books together this morning, I'm filled with sadness that people actually perceive them in such a negative way.

*dad

What are you talking about ?

Or even her long legs ...

My dad regularly told me how I was growing up to be strong and beautiful. He regularly took me bra shopping and talked about my "classic hour glass figure" when I hated my breasts and thought I was fat (I wasn't he was right), it's really important that teens (and pre-teens ds is only 10) hear positive things about their developing bodies.
FWIW I have always admired ds's muscley legs since he starting standing up at 7 months......what's wrong with that . (Genuinely baffled).

Dear god, with a father like that no wonder you are baffled where the line of decency is

I have two boys. They are 3 and 5. They say each other are their best friends. They fight and argue but they are such a tight unit. They are both very affectionate and loving. They are loud, boisterous, hyper and loud. They trash my house on an hourly basis and there is rarely a quiet moment. Wouldn't change it for the world though.

I would love a little girl though but that's as well as my boys. I would like the mother daughter bond when she is older. I want to do ballet classes and shopping trips and be the mother of the bridge and maternal grandmother.

I won't have any more children though so have grieved for a daughter. Wouldn't change my two though for the world.

ODFOD, Slip.

Slip are you deliberately trying to be argumentative or are you actually this much of a bitch in RL?!

My god what a comment Slip, I think it should stand too, as evidence!

I was going to post in this thread, but it's got too weird.

Maybe everyone press pause and catch your breath?

Slip I think you are hilarious and actually I feel sorry for your daughters. Yesterday we met my aunt and uncle and they both remarked on how healthy and strong the dcs were looking. Yes in my family and my dh's family this is normal, there are no hang ups about nudity(I remember pre-dcs sunbathing topless on the lawnat dmil's house (she was out) when dh's granny popped her head over the wall and said "how lovely" . It may be because we are medical so used to seeing bodies in a non sexual context.

However I think what I am describing is quite common among mother's of son's Allison Pearson refer's to it in " I don't know how she does it". and as I say I have talked to MIL about it and my female friends with boys. As you have no son's how on earth would you be able to judge if it was normal or not ?

And you know what ? my Dad would think it was hilarious too. He was very close to his dm.....maybe there's a theme emerging.

ODFOD ????

Sorry just got it. I am logging off now to go and do something more interesting as DCS have woken.

I count my blessings every day that I have a DS as well as 3DDs.

If you had a massive set of balancing scales, and you put my DS on one side and 3 DDs on the other..it would balance!

Not in terms of weight/size obviously, but in terms of personality, and them all bringing out the best in each other.

I'd be grateful for any combination of children, but I do think having a brother makes my girls a bit more confident and less phased by things, and gives them an insight into how boys are - all good life skills!

It might be a coincidence, and perhaps also because I've never encouraged the pink, frilly, princess, looking immaculate thing like some mothers of girls do, but my girls are just not that girly. They climb, get dirty and are full of adventure, just like their brother, which is how it should be.

My youngest likes a swishy pink dress along with the best of them...but she'll be doing skids on her bike while she wears it! I think their brother's adventurous spirit has rubbed off on them, but maybe they would be like that anyway..who knows?

They don't look at boys as nuisances, or vile, or too loud, or aliens like I did growing up! It's a shame that your friend does, OP. Her daughters will likely grow up with the same ideas.

My DS benefits hugely from having three sisters, too, although up until recently, he would have swapped the youngest for a brother..and on a bad day..!

Oh, and if she'd have a DS, she'd probably learn to realise how fab they are!

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your reports. We've now zapped a certain unpleasant poster and several of their posts.

Feel free to go back to discussing your wonderful sons.

misfit - I have 2 dds and am expecting a ds. Your post made me happy! Dd2 is a tomboy anyway, dd1 can definitely have princess tendencies and I am hoping she will get a healthy understanding of boys from a brother.

I had a brother and him and his friends definitely made me realistic about menfolk!

On the other subject the only time my dad ever mentioned my body was when I had an ed. Other than that it felt to me like he never even noticed anything on my body was different to my brothers. I think that was a really good way to deal with it. I certainly grew up being more than certain I was the same as men in every way.

It will be interesting to see how I feel about an offspring of a different sex. I do wonder at my dds bodies though, I don't think they are 'more of the same', I think watching them grow and change is (so far!) fascinating.

I currently have two of each, with a third daughter on the way, and I've lost count of how many people have said to me, "if this is your last, then you must be delighted that you'll have more girls than boys?"

Why would I be delighted?

As long as my children are happy and healthy, that's all that matters.

I get so many lovely comments about DS1, who is now 14, because he is such a fine young man. And that isn't parental bias, it's what other people tell me.

Obviously the Jack that other people see, is different to the Jack at home, as it's for home he saves his teenage moments. But none of his behavior is any different to mine at that age.

I have two darling boys', I think I'd have to punch someone who tried to say they were horrid, smelly or whatever derogatory term they want to use. They should shut up, their DD might marry one of them one day!

Ahh, Misfit I think my eldest DS1 is the same in the sense of swapping his sisters at times. He tells me "mum if you have another baby can it please be a boy?" After tonight with DD2 imitating DD1 in the attitude front (everythings crap crap crap) I think I agree with him

I have 3 boys. I find the only people who make comments about 'boys being like this' and 'girls being like that' are people who have 1 ds and 1 dd and extrapolate from that. But I've not really had someone being as monstrously rude as OP reports. Only when ds 3 was born a couple of people said I must be disappointed, which I thought was rather rude! I wasn't disappointed! I would like a dd, but if I had only girls then I would say I'd like a ds. Children are nice