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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about the breastfeeding cafe in Cheltenham?

349 replies

NotNewButNameChanged · 17/07/2014 11:41

Sorry if someone has already done this but I haven't spotted it if so.

I live in Cheltenham and there is a café proudly displaying a sign saying:

"Breastfeeding mums. Pop in and have a free cup of tea if you need a pit stop. No need to eat, no need to ask - please relax Smile"

I am very torn about this. On the one hand, it's great to be supportive of breastfeeding and we know it is illegal to discriminate against breastfeeding mums. But on the other, it's basically discriminating against mums who either can't breastfeed or choose not to. Somehow makes me feel that it's saying breastfeeding mothers are more important and deserving than other mothers.

Am I being unreasonable in being torn?

OP posts:
MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 17/07/2014 22:37

People with sore throats get thirsty.
People with diabetes get thirsty.

This is nothing to do with people getting thirsty, otherwise anyone with a 'condition' that makes them thirsty would be getting free drinks. This is about promoting breastfeeding. I'm not saying whether giving free drinks is right or wrong, but it's fallacy to suggest that they aren't promoting breastfeeding.

zeezeek · 17/07/2014 22:38

Why are some people making such a fuss about something that is, in the great scheme of things, totally irrelevant. Babies are fed the whole world over. It's not brain surgery and you don't need any special qualifications or experience to do it. Your babies won't care and will have no memory of it and in a few years time it won't matter.

TheBogQueen · 17/07/2014 22:38

I know it's pretty bleeding hot.

It's just a wee sign in a wee cafe.

Get over it

Bambamb · 17/07/2014 22:39

Thank you runes.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 17/07/2014 22:40

At the end of the day, this is likely to end with the cafe losing some formula feeding customers and potential customers... but they'll probably make it back in new, breastfeeding customers. Not so much a win-win situation as a bit of a nothing situation.

SantanaLopez · 17/07/2014 22:41

Seriously, if that sign had said 'Free cup of tea for formula feeders' it wouldn't just be a 'wee sign'. I'd put money on a bloody 'nurse-in' being organised.

Bambamb · 17/07/2014 22:41

What is wrong with promoting breastfeeding? ??????
Why does promoting breastfeeding = calling all FF's bad mothers in some people's heads.

It's not.

Igggi · 17/07/2014 22:41

It's a promotion. No-one seems bothered when waitrose gives out free cups of tea. Or any other offer designed to draw people in. How many women would actually drink the free tea and then leave, without buying anything extra?

SquattingNeville · 17/07/2014 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanFuckingTastic · 17/07/2014 22:42

Producing milk is thirsty work, the drink may initially benefit mum as I would get a raging thirst whenever feeding, but it goes to baby. It's along the lines of offering the free baby food when you get your own food. One drink costs them pennies.

It's not a reward, its an extra with your custom, they'll hope you order food or stay for more than one drink. They do this by making it easier for you, for breast feeding, that's a drink for the thirst, for bottle feeding its providing facilities to warm bottles. For both is the baby food free with your food.

Bambamb · 17/07/2014 22:44

The day I hear about someone being asked to leave a place because they were FF ing and were humiliated in public is the day I will gladly do a FF nurse-in side by side with them. Because I support ALL mothers, not only 'my side'. Shame some can't do the same.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 17/07/2014 22:45

We need to promote breast feeding because it's better for babies, and not enough people do it who could. They're just doing a good thing which also probably makes very good business sense.

runes · 17/07/2014 22:46

It's not a judgementHmm It's a kind gesture to a minority who could do with some encouragement.

zeezeek · 17/07/2014 22:47

The Waitrose offer is different because it offers the free drink to everyone who has a card (which is available to anyone who wants on) and is not just for one section of the community.

What if a cafe had a sign up saying that they only wanted childless women?

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 17/07/2014 22:47

Shame some can't do the same

Judging by the nurse-ins I've seen posted about on social media, a bottle-feeding mum wouldn't be made welcome.

Bambamb · 17/07/2014 22:48

Well they should be.

wheresthelight · 17/07/2014 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Igggi · 17/07/2014 22:49

They don't say they only want bf women, zeezak, they have an offer for bf women. There is a clear difference there. They would have pretty low profit margins if the former were the case!

There are offers for pensioners where I live. I assume the cafe is still happy for me to come in despite not being (quite) that old yet.

AlpacaYourThings · 17/07/2014 22:49

YABU, I think it's a great idea.

It is hardly discriminating against FF mothers Hmm

If they said any mother it would be leaving out dads, if it said new parents it would be leaving out pregnant women/grandparents/aunts/carers/those with older children

I'm not a mother, but I'm not thinking "why don't I get free tea?".

SantanaLopez · 17/07/2014 22:50

No-one seems bothered when waitrose gives out free cups of tea.

Because Waitrose aren't judging how you feed your baby to do so.

The woman at one table gets access to free hot water (and a tea bag) - used to replenish those being taken by her baby

What a ridiculous point to try and make.

Most of us are British and thoroughly understand the joy of a cup of tea. It's such a treat to sit down and have a hot drink, especially with a young child. It's wrong of this cafe to judge feeding choices and provide a 'treat' for a certain group.

SantanaLopez · 17/07/2014 22:51

The pensioner argument doesn't work; you can't choose not to age. We're all going to get older.

I should know, I've been trying since I hit 25 Grin

kitesfoorever · 17/07/2014 22:51

Yabu. I think it's nice that the cafe us being so friendly towards bf, after all no one feels uncomfortable ff in public, whereas bf can get bad reactions. I doubt many bf mums go in just for a free cup of tea, most probably buy cake etc too. If you're that bothered about a free cup of tea then have one at home?

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 17/07/2014 22:53

kites several posters on here have said that we have been made to feel uncomfortable ff in public.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 17/07/2014 22:53

I don't even bloody like tea, but anything that gives a bit of a boost and encouragement to breast freeding mothers is a good thing. I'd have gone in there and not had this oh so contentious cup of free tea because I'd have felt welcome.

TheXxed · 17/07/2014 22:53

This thread is Confused.

where and sanatana when I saw the sign all I thought was oh that's kind of them. I didn't for one second think it was a slight against FF mums. I think your making this unnecessarily personal.