To think a hair free bikini line isn't more important than my own family?

[youmademesolate]

I am a care assistant.

There's never enough time to do everything. Today I was due to finish at 11 o clock and then had a special family event I wanted to go to (nothing formal) at 12.

The last lady was duly washed, dressed, bed changed, breakfast made, lounge cleaned (she is unable to walk herself so all this done using hoists and so on.) she asked me to put hair removal cream on her bikini line and I explained, politely, we just didn't have the time it would take to set and then remove the hair.

The husband has complained to the agency about me

I'm so fed up; why should I work for nothing at all, miss my own family doing things and for someone's bikini line???

[LongTimeLurking]

And what exactly is unprofessional here, no privacy or confidentiality has been broken and the OP has not slagged off the client.

OP has merely described the situation and asked if others felt the request was unreasonable or not. Plus for all we know OP may have changed significant details of the events anyway.

[Pumpkinpositive]

Longtime- I have not once mentioned privacy or confidentiality. I have spoken about professionalism. If you are in a position of trust you need to act professionally (it will be in OPs contract). This is not professional.

How so? She's not breaching confidentiality, and she's not cursing her client, client's husband or agency.

She's seeking to garner opinion. If she made a regular thing of this, I'd be a bit but nothing here to suggest this is the case.

[GretchenWiener]

THIS IS ABOUT MINGE TRIMMING

not all teh confidentiality crap

[MrsBoldon]

Yy- expat.

[Mybigfatredwedding]

However to answer the original question YAsoNBU!

[OnesEnough]

Magpie

If everyone thought along the same lines as you, MN would not exist!

Now getting back to the point, do you think OP should have waxed this lady's bikini-line or not?

[LongTimeLurking]

BTW, OP is clearly NBU. I'm really not sure waxing bikini lines falls under the remit for a carer and even if it does it is still a time consuming job and she should have requested it when you first arrived, not after you had done all those other tasks.

There seems to be a view among some sections of society that people who work in health care, whether it is nurses, doctors, carers, whatever, should be somehow saintly, completely selfless and always giving more of themselves because the area they work in is a 'vocation' or 'calling' and not a job.

Fuck that. The demands are never ending and sometimes you have to just do a 'good enough' job. You are entitled to refuse extra unessential tasks and finish on time. You should not have to work for free, especially as carers are so poorly paid anyway.

[HotDogJumpingFrogAlburquerque]

Oh give the OP a bloody break with this confidentiality and professionalism nonsense.

OP - YANBU

[Pumpkinpositive]

Ok, back on topic, and to answer the original question:

HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO
HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO
HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO
HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO
HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO
HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO
HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO
HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO

[IAmAPaleontologist]

Ok so we don't know who the op works for and who her governing body might be but the nmc states that nurses should uphold the reputation of their profession at all times.

complaining about being busy is fine. asking if yabu to want to finish on time is fine. slagging off a client for complaining is not. Doesn't matter that we don't know who she is or who the client is, there is the potential to bring the reputation of the job into question. Next week this thread could be in the daily fail saying how health care assistants are too busy with their own concerns to do their job properly. That wouldn't be true, that wouldn't be what the op was complaining about, but it could be interpreted as such.

fwiw I have had many, many people in a healthcare setting make unreasonable demands from me but I never, ever, ever talk about anything to do with it online. I hardly even feel able to say that I'm tired online in case it is seen by someone who thinks "Oh well my colleague's sister was on the ward that day and she thought the care was terrible. No wonder if the staff are not fit to be in work" you never know who is going to see what and join the dots. Even if they draw the wrong conclusions the damage is done.

[lougle]

Actually, I think the OP has made enough references to details that she could be identified:

-female client
-client requires hoists for mobility
-disabled husband
-appointment time was 11 am
-30 minute appointment
-client has 4 appointments per day
-date was 12th July
-request for bikini line hair removal
-husband complained to the agency

Anyone who comes across this thread, either through browsing MN or searching 'care agency bikini line' on Google (4th hit) or 'carer bikini line' (1st hit) could reasonably link you to this thread.

[Thumbwitch]

YANBU. That's what beauty therapists are for.

[expatinscotland]

Then that's her lookout, lougle. If she gets in trouble, she realises it and is adult enough to take the consequences.

[youmademesolate]

I'm not a nurse!

Anyway, I changed some details in the OP or rather omitted some: admitting that will probably get me a rollicking as knowing I changed details will mean that the 'client' will identify herself.

So if you are reading this and I couldn't do your bikini line I am sorry. As I explained at the time, I'd love to do your bikini line and do whatever would make you happy, but I don't have the time. If I gave the time for you my pay would effectively go to £3.45 an hour which I'm sure you'll agree isn't on given the amount of lifting and hoisting around I have to do. Someone on this thread thinks that makes you identification: sadly, it doesn't, as you were only one of seven people who required similar care this morning. I had something with my family I couldn't miss and yes it took precedence over your bikini line.

I don't know what the agency said: they just let me know.

[EarthWindFire]

I feel sorry for the woman not the op fault though she has her half hour I think the husband was taking the pss tbh but maybe he is just frustrated that his wife has to ask then be told no I cant it must humiliating to be treated like you are being a burden when all she wanted was a tidy up I think these care agencies forget they are dealing with humans, op what will the agency do ?

This ^.

For reasons that I won't go into, I have to have help through mobility issues. It is humiliating, frustrating and embarrassing to ask for help.

I have badly hurt myself in the past through trying to do things in my own as not wanting to be a burden.

Whilst I appreciate what carers do and many do a fantastic job. I don't know what I would do without my DP and family. However, a little compassion for the lady who is being cared for is needed.

[OnesEnough]

Iamapale, where has the OP "slagged off" her client exactly? She hasn't!

You sound superior and self-righteous.

[CheerfulYank]

Pmsl at "very hirsute woman, Mrs Bloggs" :o

I don't find this a beach of confidentiality at all.

[GretchenWiener]

if anyone is googling "either through browsing MN or searching 'care agency bikini line' on Google (4th hit) or 'carer bikini line' (1st hit) "

they need to take a LONG HARD LOOK at their bikni line needs at themselves

[Mybigfatredwedding]

SHe is moaning about a client on the Internet. It doesn't matter if we can't identify the client, if someone involved could, or indeed if they client could identify themselves (which of course they could if they happened to read this) then it's not ok. It's unprofessional.

[youmademesolate]

It's all right Ones; I've been told nurses should uphold the profession at all times! I am not a nurse and it certainly isn't a profession!

Earth I've nothing but sympathy with you and others. It must be horrible. The problem is we're allocated that half hour, or whatever, and there are SO many, this evening for example, I have twelve people. Twelve! It's crazy, I know, and if they all want something that takes even just five minutes that adds an unpaid hour to my time, so in a sense you do end up hardening your heart a bit.

Before everyone jumps on me I wouldn't even mind THAT but the problem is then it makes you late and everyone has a go at you!

It's the cut backs and the government if people want to get cross at somebody, it really is.

[youmademesolate]

I'm not moaning about her you wally! I've said a few times now I sympathise!

I've moaned about being complained about when I did nothing wrong, in which case, don't complain about stupid stuff!

[Bowlersarm]

So what mybigfatredwedding? Why shouldn't the OP have a moan on MN? She's hardly disclosed names and addresses.

[MrsBoldon]

But you would only be able to (possibly) identify the situation if you had personal knowledge. That doesn't breach confidentially - pieceing together stuff with personal knowledge and making a guess is very different to personal information being given and confidentially breached.

It's not about 'people in the know' being able to guess when it's not a case of abuse, risk, or character being questioned - they're different situations which don't apply here.

It's the same as the news saying 'a 23 yr old man from July Rd in Birmingham (made up by the way) being arrested for such and such'. If you know him or victims of the crime than you know it's him but no- ones confidentiality has been breached.

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

proclean - "It is nice for the elderley to be pampered..."

Umm, you do realise that some people who require assitance with personal care are not little old biddies put out to pasture, but young women who may give a shit about their appearance?

[FannyFifer]

This is not in a home carers job description.

There would prob have to be a risk assessment of veeting said bikini line and it would have to be documented in care plan.

That type of personal grooming is for a beautician, and I would absolutely tell my carers not to do it unless pre agreed & documented. If they were unhappy about doing it then they would not have to.