To think a hair free bikini line isn't more important than my own family?

[youmademesolate]

I am a care assistant.

There's never enough time to do everything. Today I was due to finish at 11 o clock and then had a special family event I wanted to go to (nothing formal) at 12.

The last lady was duly washed, dressed, bed changed, breakfast made, lounge cleaned (she is unable to walk herself so all this done using hoists and so on.) she asked me to put hair removal cream on her bikini line and I explained, politely, we just didn't have the time it would take to set and then remove the hair.

The husband has complained to the agency about me

I'm so fed up; why should I work for nothing at all, miss my own family doing things and for someone's bikini line???

Normally every person has a Care Plan which outlines what can be done for that person, then they are allocated a budget, which dictates the time.

For a very disabled woman, personal grooming of all types can be provided, it depends on what has been agreed upon at the first meeting (and set out in the assessment).

So if she needs this to be considered, then she is within her right to bring it up to the agency (or her DH is).

Then it's up to your manager to decide if you can do this.

In all fairness to Clients/Service Users they don't always understand how it all works and if youvare housebound/severely disabled, you can lose touch and become petty.

The point is OP, how has your agency handled this?

No one, and I repeat no one likes a full bush these days

Mine is as nature intended.

I've absolutely no objection, for those who are wondering, to actually doing something of this nature: it's personal grooming.

But - if we don't have time, we don't have time. I dislike how little time we're given per person but you know I don't make the rules about that and that's one half hour slot, to wash and dress and make breakfast for somebody.

It isn't a lot of time.

" last lady was duly washed, dressed, bed changed, breakfast made, lounge cleaned "
In half an hour? I'm impressed!

But back to the AIBU - if this does come under personal care, then fair enough for them to ask for this to be done. BUT - if you are only there for half an hour then they need to have asked you the minute you came through the door and to have decided which of the other tasks should be usurped.

They know how long you are there for. If the tasks they wanted you to undertake in that time was different from the norm, then they needed to make that clear up front. If they didn't do this, then tough. Nobody dies for want of a hairless bikini line, what was to stop them from agreeing that on tomorrow's visit they would forego the lounge being cleaned that day to make time for the bikini line? They surely can't expect you to work unpaid, can they? Of course they can ...

""Do you do facials and French manicures too? I would think this goes above and beyond essential care surely?""

If a client has depression etc and would enjoy a facial during "talking time" then that can be provided by SS.

People with dementia are budgeted for all types of Care, for example.

Anything that helps minimise isolation, can be provided.

You really need this thread pulled. If a colleague, manager, or the ladies family read this it is very identifiable. Name changing won't make a difference. Could be seriously disciplined for this.

Wow I think hair removal is beyond the call of duty! She can easily get a mobile beauty therapist in to see to that if need be. What if you made a mistake or she had a reaction to the cream? I doubt you're insured for that.

In the mood I am in magpie GOOD.

Nor do I zzzz; not bothered about that. But I think what people don't realise is the removal cream has to be applied for 15 minutes, that's 15 minutes of basically waiting. That would mean everything else would have to be done 15 minutes later. Making breakfast takes seconds, it's getting up, washed, dressed that takes a long time, and obviously you can't do that when somebody's got hair removal cream on their bikini line! :)

Why magpiegin? Are personal carers not allowed to have a moan about their jobs?

Many on here seem to view HCP's as the old Home Helps.

Using Hair Removal cream isn't any more "risky" than some of the health services/mess calls etc that HCP's do.

There are different levels of Home Carers.

Do you think that Care Assisstant shouldn't shave men, also?

Meds, not Mess

Bloody hell, how unprofessional. Unless you've changed lots of details then this is identifiable. You've totally waived this women's right to confidentiality and opened yourself to serious disciplinary matters. YANBU in the subject matter, but don't post about your clients like this. You shouldn't need to be told that.

I was joking about the full bush, what I meant was that service-users often request all sorts of personal care and I have noticed over the last 2 decades a change in feminine personal grooming requirements.

Let's just say I would never have anticipated, 20 years ago, having to teach carers how remove pubic hair safely while maintaining dignity...

Totally unprofessional. After all, I've named her, personally, her address and her phone no. Oh and that of her husband. For someone on such a good salary I should totally know better. Such a good thing no one on Mumsnet ever posts something identifiable about their child's teacher, or another parents kid, or about their workplace isn't it?

This doesn't sit right, if this was in your job remit and you had a good relationship with your client then why didn't you offer to do it tomorrow? if it's not on the care plan and you can't do it then so what if they complained to the manager? you're not going to get in trouble and they probably are just born complainers ... don't give it the situation, not the hirsute minge a second thought!

I know Naffed

I'm just, well. Bloody naffed off!!

I dunno about being disciplined, the question was aibu to not do something (whatever that something is) that will take at least 20mins when asked at the end of my shift, when i have plans to be elsewhere.

Its a reasonable question, op says she has no problem doing it, but just was she bu to refuse at this time? If she was here actually moaning about the client or employer that would be different, but shes asking if she did something they should be complaining about? Iyswim?

She should have let you know earlier. She will be well aware that you only have half an hour, so she needs to prioritise if something needs doing above something else. That said, half hour per meal is shit, I get half hour (if i could find someone to do it) and thats just meals without the personal care help, as dh does that.

You have a duty of care to maintain confidentiality. You haven't, and it's pretty much the basic tenet of care or personal work. If I were the woman, or her husband, or anyone she or him had told about the incident, I could identify her from this post. It's irrelevant whether someone has identified their child or some other parent in a mumsnet post... They don't have a duty not to. Unless you are a bit thick you know this, and you know this has crossed a line. This woman is entitled to confidentiality about what goes on in her home with regard to her personal care.

What did the agency say to the husband?

I think what you describe is the main problem with working in a client's home. There are always extra things you could do but you can't because you have other clients and, oh yes, your own life.

A client may save a list of things for a carer who has been allocated 30 minutes. Can you just put my shopping way/empty the dishwasher/feed the cat/make me some soup/phone the gas company etc.

If you say NO you feel like crap, feel like you haven't done a good job, the client doesn't appreciate what you DO do. If you say YES, you are late for your next client and your boss tells you off. You are told you are no good at managing your time. Next week this client has a longer list for you.

There is a big gap between people's care needs and what is being provided - who is at the coal face? - carers like the OP.

The turnover for this type of work if phenomenal for obvious reasons.

You've pretty much summed it up batmans :)

It is a huge breach of trust, really unprofessional. Can you imagine going to the doctors or being in hospital and then reading on here a thread that doesn't mention your name and but is clearly moaning about you?