aibu about this cat?

[juditz]

Before I met my dh, he had cats which have since passed away. Anyway, he always loved them because they are 'free spirits' (his words) and do what they want.
A cat has started to come into the house as it is summer and windows and doors are open. I do not encourage it to come in, but it likes to sit on my lap for about half an hour each night while I watch TV but it has not taken to sitting on his lap and gets aggressive when he is near it-tried to bite him. I innocently brought up the cat in conversation and my dh went on a rant about how we should not be encouraging the cat to come in-I don't 'encourage' it; he just comes in.
According to him, this cat is somebody else's 'possession' and it is wrong for us to encourage him - I don't even understand this as before the cat took a dislike to him he was the one who bought it cat treats (we both agreed that a small treat was OK but not feeding it as such) not me.

I'm quite upset by his rant. AIBU? I know this sounds deeply trivial but I am quite upset.

It doesn't even seem logical to me-the owners obviously let the cat roam free and it's not as if the cat is going to say, 'I've been round Judy's house'.

What if I were allergic to cats? What if I was an arthritic person who couldn't pick up a cat?

In other words, why should other people get the blame for not getting rid of a cat from their houses when the owners' should control it?

No this thread is not a wind-up at all.

You sound like a potential cat napper to me. I think your DH is right.

All I'm saying is that a cat is a cat; if people want something they can control and want to treat as a possession, they really shouldn't have one. Don't think that is unreasonable at all.

Jud if you were allergic etc. You (or your DH, unless he hated you) wouldn't have tempted it in with food treats.

Probably is a wind up lol. Doing a good job too. My cat is very well loved thank you very much. She's asleep in her bed at the moment after spending the morning out on the patio. It's a cats life lol.

If you was allergic then you wouldn't be encouraging it to come into your house for cuddles and treats. Also if you are allergic then I am sure you would take precautions to prevent a cat entering your house.

You have now taken your DHs place as the cat expert, so can you please tell me how you train a cat NOT to go into other peoples houses?

I would be pissed off if I found out someone was feeding my cat treats as it's usually just cupboard love with cats anyway.

Your a cat napper. Stop it.

There are other ways to put a cat outside, I just used to say shoe and walk them towards the door.

That's irrelevant though as you aren't these things are you?

And you shouldn't feed other people's animals for heavens sake, for one thing you have no idea if they have special diets or intolerances.

Oh my I'm so bored of this thread now. I think it's pretty clear this is a wind up. Well done OP, lots of us bit, now go away.

I've already conceded that point, HaroldLloyd, however, if their owners REALLY cared, they wouldn't let them out of their sight, would they?

Bang. Head. Brick wall.

It's not about the owners it's about you encouraging someone else's pet in to your home and blaming others.

I am wondering why we are carrying on with this thread.

OP, AIBU?

Yes you are!

Well I think I'm not and and its everyones elses fault.

It's not a wind-up, HaroldLloyd, I'm just annoyed that I am expected to control an animal when the owners, frankly, cannot be bothered too. Yet some are blaming me for their failure to control it.

I just can't get into this. It's already making me weep.

It's not about the cat.

You are not expected to control an animal, you are expected to control your behaviour which is to not encourage an animal into your home that does not belong to you.

Expected by whom, exactly? I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you wish to have complete control over an animal, get a dog and not a cat. Any cat owner who gets stroppy about me cuddling their cat in MY house should be grateful that I welcome it and not hurt it (as so many others do) . The cat wishes to be cuddled, I cuddle it. Seems like a mutually beneficial thing. It then-presumably- trots home to be fed. Never realised people could get so possessive about a cat.

A suggestion OP...why not keep your door closed? That's a really easy action you could do.

Actually, your attitude to cats and cat owners (bit of a clue there) is really getting my goat.

PS If it, by any chance, my cat you are petting I may stop de-fleaing it, especially for your ongoing delight.

Do you not see what everyone is saying? Do you think everyone on here is bonkers? Surely when a hundred people are saying yabu, maybe you are?

I am 'possessive' over all my animals. Any of them wander into your home I do not want you making it feel welcome. If you know it belongs to me then I would like you to come and get me to collect or if you don't know me then I would like you to phone the relevant organisations to come and collect it so they can then return it to me.

It is my animal, I own it.

If you don't get what people are saying now, you never will.

You could ensure this cat doesn't enter your home, if it does you can remove the cat.

You just don't want to so yabu and I can completely see why your dh wishes for the cat to remain outside now it has shown some form of aggression to him.

You can like all you want, Binky, I am not aware of any law that says I have to inform the owner that their cat has wandered into my house or ring the 'relevant organisations'.

Basically, if you wish to control a creature completely, don't get a cat. What can I say? They are not loyal and if the food is better next door they'll be off. Not that I'll be feeding it any more. I won't do that.

Seems that apart from myself and a few others here, nobody understands cats at all. Just another possession to some.