Am I being oversensitive or was this remark a bit.....odd?

[CiderLover]

I am currently taking driving lessons, second lesson was yesterday.

I was struggling to remember how to approach a junction and my instructor was asking what the problem was. I replied that I'm not very good at multitasking and remembering the different things I need to do.

His reply

"What!!? You're a woman, multitasking is your thing. Women, can read, cook a meal AND make love all at the same time!" He then laughed.

It made the next few minutes quite awkward when I was already anxious!

AIBU to think his comment was inappropriate?

how did these throwbacks from 1970's working men's clubs ever keep any customers?

I am sure he didn't mean to offend - it sounds like his sense of humour. I wouldn't be offended at all. It's not like he used vulgar language or anything and probably just thinks he was going to make you laugh. It would be a shame to get him into trouble for a throwaway silly comment.

Can't believe the number of posters saying 'awww it was just a joke...a joke'...

What's that old saying? A joke is only a joke if the the other person finds it funny.

Creepy sleazebag should know better. I would let his bosses know and replace him. He may well go from 'insignificant', so-called jokey comments to other more offensive comments.

Was it the making love bit that made you uncomfortable, or the sexist bit about women multitasking?

I agree that it was a pathetic joke and not designed to offend.

However, guess what - it doesn't matter if you intend to offend someone. If you are a professional and use a phrase like "you make love" to a client the second time you have met them - well, either you are a weirdo or you are pretty fucking naive and you need to wise up fast.

I have a very close to the bone, vulgar SOH. I also teach. I am in a position of power. I never make jokes even remotely touching on appearance, sexual behaviour, ethnicity etc. Because it might make someone uncomfortable, I'm a professional, and you just don't go there.

Oh FFS - soon men won't be able to even speak.

You know, I bet there would have been a different reaction if a woman had said it.

I think it's just how things are these days, everything has to have something behind it.

Is he called Swiss Toni?

My instructor came out with 'You can rob my house, you can rape my wife, but don't you ever touch my car

I just read this, that's bang out of order. :/ What a thing to say about your wife, charming. That is definitely overstepping the mark, and offensive.

The thing is ... It was obviously a joke!! It's just ridiculous to me to get this worked up over such a simple statement.
If Peter Kay said it no one would be bothered!
It's hardly offensive!! He was saying women were great at multi tasking (oh no! How terrible) and he added an example of what we can do when multi tasking. Fine. If he had said "you can fuck a guy and still wash up!" Ok, that's offensive!! But he said "make love".... In my head I imagine a nice man from the North... Much like my dad, thinking he's a comedian like Les Dawson making a little joke - probably in his head to make you feel more comfortable.

It was a joke. Lighten up

if he's self employed I'd be cancelling the rest of my lessons. If he works for a larger firm I would be letting his bosses know why!

it's not funny, matey, or relaxing to be subjected to this sort of blokey banter. it's TOTALLY inappropriate to crack jokes about sex in any formal/business transaction.

If he'd just said "I thought all women could multi task" that would have been fine.

of course it was a joke, no ones saying it wasn't. But it's still totally inappropriate.

would you expect your boss/your GP/your teenage DDs teacher to come out with such things? no.

this was not a "mates down the pub scenario"

Most driving instructors are very personable / try to be your friend! This isn't an "interview"'type of scenario. Ive had many driving instructors who tell me about their wives, their children, their illnesses! The more friendly you are with each other the more you relax... The more you connect. It's not a professional situation as much as say... The test examiner is. Some poor man makes a quip! And nothing else! He's not a bad man and you know it.

Most driving instructors are very personable

Erm...generalisation much!?

"The poor man" is not pathetic enough to be shy is he!? No...he's quite happy to mention sex to a stranger...even if he does call it the boak-worthy "making love"

Blech.

Sorry. Your GP is not the same as your driving instructor! Your driving instructor has to say left, right, straight on. They won't be invited to look at your body parts or know your sexual history!! Come on. It's not the same.

That wouldn't bother me at all. He was joking and trying to put you at ease. I'm surprised at how many people would have been offended.

A terrible generalisation! True!!! I heartily apologise. Like saying most receptionists are approachable or most teachers are patient. Awful awful stereotypes I must banish from within myself!!
Stereotypes aside... I would think that if a driving instructor wants to be booked multiple times they will be friendly... Good with people... Ergo... Personable.

No no -I'm wrong and very stupid. They should be closed, cold and serious. And never ever ever ever make a light hearted remark.
God forbid.

I know for a fact that most women dont cook dinner and make love at the same time. I once asked my flatmate to come help me cook dinner (fish balls) and she yelled at me that she was in the process of making love and she would NOT be cooking any other balls than her boyfriend's.

Just to clarify that point. Woman to woman sort of.

He sounds like a sleazeball. What on earth possessed him to mention sex to a pupil. I would report and ask for a different instructor.

He shouldn't be talking about sex at work or making generalisations about women, totally unprofessional! I'd go with a different company and tell them why.

I'm surprised at how many people have just "oh, men!" this thing. Imagine him saying that to a 17 year old girl and then see if it is still appropriate.

He said Make love! Looking at it ... He might have even paraphrased an old comedian's line or a "funny" joke he's heard before. Have any of you seen Frankie Boyle?! This is not offensive stuff!!!! It's just an old fashioned sense of humour.

It was a joke... Not meant to offend but to try and chill you relax a bit.
Plus its true most women can multitask pretty well
Plus it is possible to cook a meal amd make love when you have a slow cooker or even a microwave if you want a quickie.

It's just such an unprofessional comment to make, I would not be happy if anyone made that sort of comment to me in the workplace; and even worse in the situation where there are only two of you.

BUT he didn't say it to a 17 year old girl... So that argument is as irrelevant as if I said "what if he said it to a 5 year old Scout?!) he didn't!!! He said it to the OP! Who he must have felt he was on terms with that he was safe to be himself with!

But he didn't say it to a teenager..... There's nothing to suggest he would have said the same